The O.B.E. Bulletins

Well it's like this, lots of you folks have said you love the bulletins the most. So we figured, why not preserve them for posterity? Here they are, special for you:

December 30, 1999

Here's one for ya, Sarah Knauss, the world's oldest person has died. Sarah is on a number of 1999 lists and quite a few 2000 lists. Looks like we'll be exercising that alternate rule. Check for new standings in a few hours (we're knee deep in O.B.E. this time of year).

Oh shoot, almost forgot........Sarah has a 96 year old daughter and between us boys, we hear she's pretty hot (for the 2002 O.B.E. that is).

December 28, 1999

Actor Clayton Moore has died. Clayton, who played the Lone Ranger in the classic TV series of the same name, had a heart attack earlier today. Immortalized with his cry of "Hi-Yo Silver" and his black mask, the Lone Ranger mesmerized TV audiences for years. You may remember the Lone Ranger's sidekick, Tonto, calling him "kemo sabe." That's American Indian for "Dead Guy with Mask."

December 26, 1999

Seems Curtis Mayfield, the funkiest of the funk, has died. Curtis, of "Superfly" fame has, eh, superflown.

December 21, 1999

Country legend Hank Snow has drifted into the great unknown. Hank, age 85, had a million selling hit in the 1950's with the tune "I'm Moving On." Some of his other hits include "I Don't Hurt Anymore," and "I've Been Everywhere." Actually, NOW he's been everywhere.

December 19, 1999

We are saddened to announce the death of actor Desmond Llewelyn. "Who?," you say. No, No, "Q" you should say. Desmond played "Q," James Bond's gadget providing cohort, in 17 James Bond movies. Desmond was 85 years old and died in a car crash. Ernst Blofeld was seen driving away cackling.

December 19, 1999

Jazz great Grover Washington is past tense. He died shortly after collapsing at a television taping on Friday. Grover is best known for his Grammy Award winning tune "Just The Two Of Us." Apparetnly, it's just the one of us now.

December 13, 1999

Author Joseph Heller has died! This one really bums Steve out. Heller is among his favorite authors having penned a book which he friggin' adores, Something Happened. We would encourage all of you to read it. Of course, Heller also wrote Catch-22, a book that will live in American literature, and a phrase that will endure in American language, for many years to come. In the end Joe was right, you just can't win!

December 11, 1999

Shirley Hemphill, the actress who played the smartass waitress on the 1970s sitcom "What's Happening!!'' was found dead in her home Friday. You may recall that Mabel King, the actress who played the mom on that very same show, died in early November. Jeesh, what the hell IS happening?

December 10, 1999

Rock bassist for "The Band," Rick Danko has expired. The Band were pretty friggin' popular for awhile there. Unfortunately Rick had a major heroin addiction that he just could seem to shake. Finally, at 56, Rick Danko sanko.

December 3, 1999

Actress Madeline Kahn, star of so many Mel Brooks classics as well as other films, has died. What can we say, Madeline gone.

December 2, 1999

Joey Adams was a pretty swell comedian but he was married to Cindy Adams. Need we say more.

December 2, 1999

Long time no "blank". Yup your favorite TV game show host and ours Gene Rayburn has croaked. Man we're gonna miss those bad ass suits.

November 21, 1999

In a push to become more embracing of the various communities that inhabit our great global village, the O.B.E. is making it its mission not to discriminate against any particular group. And basically, a group of less than heterosexuals came down hard (excuse the pun) on one of The Guys when the O.B.E. failed to send out a bulletin on Quentin Crisp.

Crisp, born in 1908, was a curmudgeon of the first degree. He was an Englishman... and mainly famous for being famous. Having been an unsuccessful artist, a teacher of tap dancing, an occasional writer, and a minor televisionary, he became an old-age pensioner - a career at which he could hardly fail. In spite of all this, he had the nerve to preach on the subject of life-style and claims, with the aid of it, to be able to cure you of your excessive freedom, which he deemed to be the cause of the world's ills.

In 1981 he moved abroad (pun intended) and proclaimed NYC his new home. QUEER, you say that the O.B.E. would have omitted this stellar figure from their ranks of the dead... well, he's in there now... And if this old QUEEN was not happy (in the true sense of the word), he was a least GAY (in the true sense of that one)...

And sometimes a FAG is just a cigarette...

November 20, 1999

Sorry we're late with this one. Seems Mabel keeled back on November 9, 1999. We've had some trouble confirming the death.

Anyway, Mabel is probably best known as Rog's mom on the TV show "What's Happening!!" In addition, Mabel was the Wicked Witch of the West in the movie and play "The Wiz". It appears that Mabel has opted to "ease on down the road," if you get our drift.

November 14, 1999

The last of The Mills Brothers has passed on. Donald died Saturday of complications from pneumonia. The Mills brothers influenced folks like Dean Martin and Paul McCartney. Who can forget hits like "Glow Worm" and "Yellow Bird?" Donald Mills, pneumonia kills.

November 1, 1999

NFL rushing king Walter Payton died earlier today. Payton, who help bring the Chicago Bears to their only superbowl victory, announced early this year that he had primary sclerosing cholangitis, a rare liver disease. Payton indicated he needed a new liver.

For those of you keeping score, he no longer needs that liver.

October 31, 1999

Race car driver Greg Moore died earlier today after a nasty ass car crash at the Marlboro 500. The Canadian born driver crashed into a hard retaining wall at 220 miles per hour. Greg Moore, no more.

October 31, 1999

Frank DeVol who wrote scores for more than 50 films and won Oscar nominations for "Hush ... Hush, Sweet Charlotte," "Pillow Talk" and "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner" is dead. Mr. DeVol also wrote the themes to "My Three Sons" and "The Brady Bunch" and acted in several TV shows and movies.

Hey Frank, guess who's not coming to dinner.

October 26, 1999

Singer, song writer, and actor Hoyt Axton died earlier today at the age of 61. Hoyt is best known for penning the Three Dog Night hit, "Joy to the World". He also wrote numerous other songs, the one we like best being a little ditty he wrote for Ringo Starr called the "No No Song". Hoyt acted in several movies and also perfomred his own music. His biggest hit was a number called "Boney Fingers." Soon he'll have the rest of the body to go with them.

October 25, 1999

Payne Stewart was a golfer who won some 18 tournaments. He was easily recognized on the grass, as he wore traditional knickers and a tam-o'-shanter hat. His plane crashed into a field in South Dakota after a four hour jaunt on auto pilot. Although he is all over the grass, he is no longer easily recognized.

October 12, 1999

Basketball superstar Wilt "The Stilt" Chamberlain is dead at the age of 63. Wilt really played the game. He scored over 100 points in one game. He led his teams into the playoffs 13 times. He had a career record of 31,419 points and 23,924 rebounds. In addition, in his 1991 autobiography, Wilt claimed that he had had sex with 20,000 women.

Assuming Wilt started having sex at 12 years old, that's 1.1 gals per day, 11 gals every ten days, or 401.5 gals per year. Now they're claiming Wilt had a heart attack.  But we're more inclined to believe the guy died of exhaustion.

Man, sex with 401 women every year and the guy didn't even get to 69.

September 22, 1999

Actor George C. Scott has died. Mr. Scott was a well respected actor of both stage and screen. He received numerous awards for his acting abilities and was nominated for even more. George turned down the Oscar in a move to show the Academy that the award was little more than a popularity contest. George will always be remembered for that brilliant performance as Patton in the movie of the same name. We'll always remember Mr. Scott for those great lawn care products that keep our yards so green and kill those annoying grubs.

September 20, 1999

Raisa Gorbachev, wife of ex-Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev, lost her battle with leukemia. Last night, approx. 3am in a German hostiptal, Raisa died of circulatory and inner organ failure. Gorby was at her side when she passed.

Raisa Maksimovna Titorenko was born Jan. 5, 1932, in southern Siberia (gee what did her father do), and met Gorbachev while both were students at Moscow State University.

She was really the first soviet wife to be thrust into the limelight. She embraced her position, but was seen constantly wetting her finger and trying to rub that little road-map of Italy off her husband's head.

``Who does that dame think she is?'' Nancy Reagan is said to have asked after being subjected to an extended dinner lecture from Mrs. Gorbachev.

September 9, 1999

Baseball great Jim "Catfish" Hunter has died from ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease). Hunter held 5 World Series rings and is known as one of baseball's most dominant pitchers. Hunter was the first Major League player to become a multimillionaire. In addition, Catfish was immortalized in the Dr. Suess book "One Fish, Two Fish, Catfish, Louish".

September 6, 1999

It has been announced today that Allen Funt, that 'Candid Camera' funny man, has permanently lost his 'smile'. Funt who was 84 died Sunday at his home of complications from the 1993 stroke that forced him into retirement.

'Candid Camera', which aired off and on from 1948 to 1990 with Funt as host, secretly filmed people confronted with talking mailboxes or trick coffee cups. 'Smile! You're on `Candid Camera!' was the victim's tip-off. Startled bowlers would see balls returned minus finger holes. A car would roll down a hill and stop, and passers-by asked to check on the trouble would find it lacked an engine.

The question that we at the O.B.E. are asking ourselves is, how the hell did this show last as long as it did, when truly fine works of art, like Winky Dink, Gilligan's Island and Mr. T & Tina only lasted few seasons? I mean come on, Fanny Flagg was a a babe and all, but really.

So join us saying good-bye to a TV super-star... ready, set, go...


August 30, 1999

Fritz Shurmur had over 20 years of NFL experience under his belt. Fritz spent the last 20 years as a defensive coordinator for five teams and had the longest continuous tenure of any coordinator in football. In fact, Fritz was the defensive coordinator for the Green Bay Packers during their 1997 Superbowl victory. Mr. Shurmur also penned several books on the topic of football. It a good thing this guy has finally chilled out. Man was he defensive.

August 26, 1999

Actress Mary Jane Croft Lewis, best know for playing pleasant neighbors on early TV sitcoms, has moved out of the neighbor hood. Ms. Croft played "the neighbor" in such classics as "Ozzie and Harriet" and the "I Love Lucy". Apparently, Mary loves Lucy enough to pay her a visit.

Screenwriter Norman Wexler, who wrote such greats as "Saturday Night Fever" and "Serpico" has died. Interestingly, Wexler was arrested in 1972 for threatening to shoot then president Richard Nixon. Well anyway, for Norman Saturday night fever wasn't good enough so he followed it up with Monday morning heart attack.

August 10, 1999

Jennifer Paterson died earlier today of lung cancer. "Who?," you say. Jennifer was one of the two, "Two Fat Ladies" of British Television and cable's FoodTV fame. Ya know, the big gals who ride around on a motorcycle, stop at cool places, cook, and eat. Well, Jennifer loved to eat and she loved to smoke. Ends up she got lung cancer and died. Several of the large tobacco companies have made it clear that they believe Jennifer's diet was the culprit.

August 10, 1999

Actor Victor Mature has died. Mature, star of the 1940' and 1950's, was known as "beautiful hunk of man" because of his broad figure and good looks. Oddly, in certain circles of worms, Mature is still known as "beautiful hunk of man." However, it carries an entirely different connotation now.

P.S. Did we mention Bill Shatner's wife drowned?

August 5, 1999

It has been brought to our attention that we broke our own rules. See, we were thinking that a celebrity death had to be "reported in the major media for example, the AP, UPI, or Reuters." In fact, to qualify, the death MUST be reported in one of those media services. So, sorry Jody & John 1, although Estella Jones may be dead as Robert Downey Jr's career, but she don't count worth a crap towards the pool. We have adjusted the standings accordingly.

We recognize that the posting of Estella's demise may have brought a flutter to a few players hearts (ahem, David G.), and rightfully so. We have an obligation to be fair and follow the rules here, and so we shall.

Now that all that mumbo jumbo is outta the way, on with the deaths.....

August 4, 1999

We've had our first Death Watcher call in and we're pleased as punch. Robert Y. informed us that Estella Jones (pick on Jody and John 1 list) died back in June of this year. Now, we had no damn clue who Estella was. But the Augusta, GA press recognized her death. She was 117, making her pretty friggin' old. So, we're crediting Jody and John 1 with the death. Now mind you, it only moves them into 6th place. And mind you further, we're really stretching our rules (cause an Augusta newspaper ain't a major media outlet). But we're doing it, period! And we're also thinking about how to better define "celebrity" next year.

Oh shoot, almost forgot. Hey, Estella Jones.....Stellar Bones!

August 1, 1999

Country music legend Anita Carter hit that hoedown in the sky on July 29, 1999. Anita, as part of the Carter Sisters, earned fame as a country music legend. Anita Carter played with Elivs, Johhny Cash, and Wayling Jennings. Anita Carter, Anita Carter, Anita Carter......No sister, you nita coffin!

July 31, 1999

News caster and original "Talking Head," Martin Agronsky, died Sunday at the age of 84. Mr. Agronsky invented the news format where commentators sit around talking about the news of the week. Now you can't even catch a rerun of "Davey and Goliath" on Sunday morning because of the hundreds of Agronsky type shows that are on. Martin Agronsky is now Martin Agonesky!

July 31, 1999

Harry "Sweets" Edison, Jazz trumpeter, died earlier this week at the age of 83. Normally we wouldn't report a guy like "Sweets" but he accompanied Fitzgerald, Holiday, and, you guessed it, Sinatra. And guess what.....he's accompanying them now.

July 23, 1999

What with all the Kennedy madness of late, we at the O.B.E. overlooked the death of a celebrity that contributed to 60's culture no less than the Kennedy family; Sandra Gould.

Sandra Gould died on Jul 20, 1999. Born circa 1920 Sandra was best known as that kooky Mrs. Kravitz on the 1960's hit show Bewitched - no not that one, the second one. She was kind like what Dick Sargent was to Dick York (ewwwwwww....). She also appeared as late as this year, on Veronica's Closet.

Wacky Sandra was one of those actors that we all knew by her face, but her name... well, that was another story. She appeared on all the 1960's hits: Gilligan's Island, I Dream of Jeannie, The Brady Bunch, Maverick, and even The Twilight Zone and I Love Lucy in the 50's and (check this out...) MacGyver in the 80's. Sweet Lord now there's a career. Yet all CNN seems to wanna shove down our throats is John-John this and John-John that... c'mon people... let's get our priorities straight, ok?~! A nation mourns all right, but it's because we'll never hear that ear piercing A-B-N-E-R!!!! again...

Death Watcher Roberta gave us the heads up (or rather down) on Sandra's demise - and we are most thankful to her. If it were not for Deathy Poohs like her our site would be, well.... a little less personal.

July 18, 1999

We're pretty confident that we won't be needing to retract this.......

John John.....Gone Gone.

July 17, 1999

Seems a small private plane carrying JFK Jr. and his wife disappeared from the radar screen last night somewhere between NJ and Martha's Vineyard. A crash is suspected. Investigations are underway. Conspiracy theorists are already writing exposes.

We at the O.B.E. hope for the best but are anticipating the worst. Let's face it folks, he ain't from the luckiest family in the world. Shoot, they've got Ted.

July 10, 1999

Civil rights leader James Farmer has died. James walked alongside Martin Luther King during many of the 1960's marchs for civil rights. In addition, Mr. Farmer helped form CORE, which played a major role in the civil rights movement in America. It was the murder of several CORE members by those "sweethearts," the KKK, that was the basis for the motion picture "Mississippi Burning." James, you shall overcome.....everything except the severe diabetes that is.

July 9, 1999

Charles "Pete" Conrad third man to walk on the moon and the first in command on Skylab has died. Mr. Conrad crashed his motorcycle. First Skylab now this!

July 2, 1999

It seems that author and screenwriter, Mario Puzo, was 'made an offer he couldn't refuse'. Mario died today in his Long Island house from what a spokesperson said was heart failure. We on the inside know better, don't we.

Puzo, was born in New York City's Hell's Kitchen on October 15, 1920 to illiterate, immigrant parents. He went on to study writing at Columbia University and at the New School for Social Research.

He is known most for his best-seller The Godfather and it's subsequent film of the same name.

He was also threatened once in a restaurant by none other than our name-sake Frank Sinatra (can you say Johnny Fontaine).

Well his newest book, due out on the shelves next year is appropriately titled, Omerta. Omerta is the mafia code of silence. As for Mario -- he took that oath earlier today.

July 1, 1999

Actress Sylvia Sidney has died. Sylvia was big at playing victims back in earlier days of film. Recently she has been working on the new "Fantasy Island" (not a proud woman) and was featured in the motion picture "Mars Attacks". Hey forget Mars Sylvia, it's cancer ya gotta watch out for.

So why are we reporting Ms. Sidney? Easy! John & Jody 2 have her on their list. That catapults them from fifth place into second place, knocks Deborah P. down to third and knocks Ken Y. outta the winners circle for now.

The year is just getting interesting!!!!!!!

On another note, Stacey the Stalker won the Second Quarter contest. Her "Dancing Jesus" web page takes the cake! The Third Quarterly contest and a July Question of the Month are now up. Have fun, play safe, guess the dead!

June 25, 1999

Fred Trump, darn rich developer and father of Donald Trump has died from pneumonia at the tender age of  93. In his honor we present you with this:


Trump lingered long building real estate.
Spawned a few kids one a stinking rich magnate.
They found him dead in Trump pajamas.
His health went the way of the The Donald and Ivana.

He's Trump, He's Trump,
He's in our head.
He's Trump, He's Trump, He's Trump,
He might be dead (actually he is dead).

Trump lingered long and made his mark
Creating urban sprawl in every field and every park.
Built an abode for every "Chuck and Carla"
Made it to 93 without an Ivana or a Marla.

He's Trump, He's Trump
He's in our head.
He's Trump, He's Trump, He's Trump,
He might be dead (actually he is dead).

Gave tons of money to his kids.
Donald hit the boardwalk and he started to place bids.
Why make apartments with kitchens and closets
When you can construct buildings built for taking cash deposits?

He's Trump, He's Trump,
He's in our head.
He's Trump, He's Trump, He's Trump,
He might be dead (actually he is dead).

Is this Trump outta our heads,
We think so.
Is this Trump outta our heads,
We think so.
Is this Trump outta our heads,
We think so.

June 11, 1999

He's Dead Jim:

Yup, he sure is. Bones McCoy will soon be living (uh, well not exactly) up to his name. DeForest Kelley, who played the Dr. on Star Trek, has been permanently beamed up.

June 5, 1999

Crooner, Mel Torme, died earlier today. Torme, known as the "Velvet Fog", wrote over 300 hundred songs including "The Christmas Song." Ya know, "Chestnuts roasting on an open fire, Jack Frost nipping at your nose..." Yup, that's Mel. He also wrote one called "Born to be Blue." Man, sometimes it's just so easy.....

June 3, 1999

It is with deep sadness that we report the passing of Charles Pierce on May 31, 1999, after a lengthy illness. Charles touched all of our lives in so many ways and brought much joy to his family, friends and thousands of fans.

Actor and night club performer Charles Pierce, the "Master and Mistress of Surprise or Disguise," died peacefully in his North Hollywood home on Monday evening, May 31. He had been battling cancer, complicated with a stroke. He was seventy-two. His career included acting, radio announcing, but as a female impersonator, Pierce has left his audiences weak with laughter, and brightened their lives with his wicked and sometimes irreverent impressions of film stars, ranging from Bette Davis, Joan Crawford, Tallulah Bankhead, Carol Channing, and even "Mrs. Olsen" of the Folgers coffee commercials.

Hmmmm... and now they're all dead..... WAIT.... oh Ms. Channing....we need to talk to you.... Well Goodbye Dolly

June 3, 1999

Junior Braithwaite, an original member of Bob Marley's Wailers was found shot dead in his Kingston, Jamaica home on Thursday. Interestingly, Junior is the second Wailer to die in such a manner. Peter Tosh (remember "Electric Avenue") was shot dead back in 1987, also in Kingston. Marley, of course, died of cancer in 1981. Couple points here:

1) Reggae may sound real nice, but that crap can kill ya.

2) Screw those "Come Back to Jamaica" commercials, Kingston's a dangerous place.

3) One heart, one love, one bullet...dig?


Eddie Grant sang "Electric Avenue." We made a boo-boo.

May 23, 1999

How weird is this? Owen Hart a professional wrestler who uses the name "Blue Blazer" was killed when he hit his head on a turnbuckle as he fell into a the ring (he was supposed to be lowered into the ring via a harness).

The announcer continually repeated, "This is not scripted." Jeez, why the heck would he be saying that?

May 21, 1999

Actor Norman Rossington died of cancer yesterday. Norm was in a number of classic pictures including "Laurence of Arabia," "A Night to Remember," and "A Hard Days Night." As hard as the day's night was, apparently the cancer was a bit harder.

May 20, 1999

Character actor Henry Jones is dead at the age of 86. Appearing in more than 30 films and 350 TV shows. He died Monday at UCLA Medical Center from injuries suffered in a fall at his Santa Monica home.

Known for those guy-next-door roles, Jones was best known for his portrayal of Judge Jonathan Dexter, the father-in-law of Cloris Leachman in the TV series "Phyllis" (1975-1977).

Some may remember him from the "Tales of the Apple Dumpling Gang" or "Bewitched" when he played Brian O'Brian in an episode called "The Leprechaun"

We at the O.B.E. loved it when he was portrayed by Sean Conery in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade."

May 13, 1999

The Team of Jody and John 2 got a hit today with the passing of golf great Gene Sarazen. Gene is the inventor of that golf staple, the sand wedge. In addition, Gene won a boatload of tournaments, kicking some serious golf ass. Mr. Sarazen also favored silly golf clothes such as knickers. They used to call this guy "The Squire." Now they call him, "The Dier."

May 10, 1999

Children's author Shel Silverstein has died of a heart attack at the age of 66. Shel was best known for his children's poetry and a bunch of swell stories including the "A Light in the Attic." However, Shel was also a lyicist, writing the Johnny Cash hit "A Boy Named Sue" and the Lorreta Lynn song, "One's On The Way." Not only is one on the way, it was such a bad one it killed poor Shel.

By the way, Eve the Media Queen is a really big Shel Silverstein as well as a big O.B.E. fan. Hmmm, she must really be having some issues tonight.

May 9, 1999

Actress Dana Plato has died from an accidental overdose of pain killers. Dana is best known for her role on the TV series "Diff'rent Strokes."

This one really affected the Guys at the O.B.E. because we both have recollections of finding Dana pretty hot back in our adolescence. Just for the record, she's no longer all that hot. In fact, she's rather cold now.

May 7, 1999

Leon Hess, oil tycoon and owner of the New York Jets has died. Hess purchased Amerada back in the late 1960's and turned it into a pretty darn successful oil company. In 1977 Leon became full owner of the NY Jets football franchise and almost turned them into a pretty darn successful football team. Almost.

Jackie F. and Marvin M.2 both had Leon. Not enough to push either of them into a winning position yet. Yet.

April 29, 1999

Actor Rory Calhoun, star of the TV series "The Texan" has died. Rory starred in numerous westerns in the 1940's and 1950's. He also did non-Western pictures, a bunch of "B" movies in the 1960's, and a soap in the 1980's. Interestingly, Rory started out as a lumberjack, cutting down trees in Northern California. Who's cut down now, huh Rory?

April 27, 1999

The King of the Trumpet, Al Hirt, has died at the age of 76. Al won a grammy for his hit "Java." Al was a New Orleans native who liked to schedule short tours so he could spend more time in the city he loved. There's one thing that's certain: Al Hirt, apparently pretty bad.

April 22, 1999

Charles "Buddy" Rogers, actor, band director, and star of the first film to win best picture has died. Charles was the star of the 1929 winner for best picture, "Wings." Now, he's got wings.

April 20, 1999

Senor Wences, ventriloquist extraordinaire, has died at the tender age of 103. Wences' suberb ability to throw his voice made him a TV sensation back in the 1950's and 1960's. In addition, Wences used whacky dummies, for example a head in a box, and a face painted on his hand to perform his act. Interestingly, you'd never see Senor's lips move and ya know what, you sure as hell won't see 'em move now.

Five players had the senior Senor. His death put David G.1 in to First Place (4 deaths), Deborah P. into Second Place (3 deaths/9points) and Chris W. 1 into Third Place (3 deaths/3points).

April 16, 1999

Seems our old pal Ellen Corby, ya know the gal who played Grandma on "The Waltons," has taken a final trip up Walton Mountain. Good night Grandma!

April 14, 1999

Actor, playwright, author, composer, lyricist and singer, Anthony Newly died earlier today. Mr. Newly wrote tunes for "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory" and penned the classics "Goldfinger" and "The Candy Man." In addition, Anthony played the Artful Dodger in the 1948 picture "Oliver Twist".

Oompa Loompa Doopadee Dead.

April 13, 1999

It seems that the woman who gave voice to Wilma Flintstone on the 1960s cartoon show "The Flintstones" has died. Jean Vander Pyl was 79 years old. Vander Pyl was the last of the original cast of the Flintstones, a self-proclaimed "modern stone-age family." The animated show ran in prime time from 1960 to 1966. The original episodes have run in syndication ever since.

Vander Pyl, who also was the voice of Rosie the Robot and Mrs. Spaceley on ``The Jetsons,'' died of lung cancer. The Orange County Register newspaper quotes her son, Michael O'Mera, as saying she wanted to do a television commercial as Wilma warning children not to start smoking. "Everybody on the Flintstones smoked and all of them ended up dying of smoking related diseases," O'Mera said.

Talk about a Yaba-daba-DOOBY time...

April 12, 1999

After a long struggle with leukemia, BoxCar Willie has finally derailed.

April 9, 1999

Bob Peck, the actor who played the scientist/island owner in Jurrasic Park, is now extinct. If we recall correctly that guy was told that creating an island full of dinosuars could only end in trouble. Some folks just never listen.

Regarding Bob Peck:

A bit of an error folks. Yeah he's dead but he didn't own the island in Jurassic Park, he was just the game warden. To err is human and to die is human too.

April 7, 1999

Red Norvo, the musician who introduced the xylophone to jazz music, has died. Normally we wouldn't report "the guy who introduced the xylophone to jazz music," as a celebrity but Red is a little different. See, he also toured with one of the greatest performers of the twentieth century. Yup, you guessed it, Red toured with The Chairman of the Board himself. So, that's why you're reading this little email. Oh yeah, we almost forgot....Blue Norvo now.

April 6, 1999

Lucille Lortel, the so-called "Queen of off-Broadway" died Sunday. Ms. Lortel, produced or co-produced about 500 plays. Five of those plays were nominated for Tony Awards. Lucy helped discover and work with some pretty big names too, including Zero Mostel and Eva Marie Saint. In addition, she could draw big names to off-broadway, for example Richard Burton, Peter Falk, and Helen Hayes.

Suffice it to say Lucy loved off-Broadway and that's where she's gonna, way off.

April 5, 1999

Hall of fame pitcher Early Wynn has died. Mr Wynn did in fact win. At the age of 39 he won the Cy Young award and at the age of 43 he won his 300th, and final ball game.

It's just too damn easy for us to bring this one to your attention......As oxymoronic as this may sound: Late Early.

April 4, 1999

Although we reported this in the Weekly Wrap-up, we decided that it deserved some special mention too:

Lionel Bart, the composer/lyricist who created the Broadway hit "Oliver" had a total flop on Saturday. As a matter fact, he flopped face down and didn't get back up.

I think we can put it best like this......

"Lionel Bart, Lionel Bart,
It wasn't his liver, it wasn't his heart.
Lionel Bart, Lionel Bart,
When the cancer took over his engine wouldn't start."

March 31, 1999

Gary Morton, husband of Lucille Ball for 29 years has decided to pay Lucy a visit. Gary had a touch of lung cancer. Apparently a big touch. Don't go looking for his Obit on the "Who's Dead" page, quite frankly he doesn't rate.

Look, he married Lucy, that's big. He was a borscht belt comedian, that's kinda big. But that's it. Not really major celebrity material. Oh shoot, we almost forgot.......He made a fine salt too. We always loved that little girl with the umbrella.

March 26, 1999

Kathyrn Schoonover has died. Kat was a homeless lady suffering from cancer. She got caught attempting to mail cyanide disguised as a nutritional supplement to numerous doctors and law enforcement personnel. And she would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids.

Deborah stays in first place
David G 2 stays in second place with Kat's death
David G 1 pops into third place with Kat's death

March 25, 1999

Cal RIPken.
Get it?
Got it?

March 23, 1999

Yup, you heard right, David Strickland, who played Todd on the TV series Suddenly Susan was found dead in a Vegas hotel. We think it went something like this:

David goes out for a hard night of drinking.
David thinks back to the late 1970's/early 1980's.
David remembers watching Blue Lagoon and Breakfast Club.
David remembers saying, "If I ever make it as an actor it ain't gonna be with losers like these."
David has a harsh realization as he watches a rerun of Suddenly Susan
David kills himself.
Suddenly, Susan needs to go buy a black dress.

The rest friends, is history.

For those of you wondering where the hell we've been, we're on vacation. It's kinda like "Death Takes a Holiday". But, unlike David Strickland, we will return!

March 8, 1999

What's that you say Mrs. Robinson? Yup, Joltin' Joe DiMaggio has left and gone away. Hey, hey, hey. Joe's lawyer is reporting that he's reading up on probate law as we type.

March 7, 1999

Director Stanley Kubrik won't be around to see if 2001 is an odyssey or not. He's dead. The director of "Dr. Strangelove," "The Shining," and "Full Metal Jacket" thought he was just taking 5 but it ends up it was a wrap.

March 5, 1999

Actor, Richard Kiley, who played Don Quixote in Broadway's first run of "Man of La Mancha" has died at the age of 76. We're not certain where Mr. Kiley is headed but we distinctly remember him saying he'd be "willing to march into hell."

March 3, 1999

1960's pop singer Dusty Springfield will soon be real dusty. You may recall Dusty from her hits "Wishin' and Hopin'," "Son of a Preacher Man," and "I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself." In the early 1990's Dusty resurfaced performing on a number by the pop group "The Pet Shop Boys." The tune was called "What Have I Done to Deserve This." Dusty, you didn't do anything, it just happens this way.

February 20, 1999

Not coming soon to a theater near you:

Movie critic Gene Siskel. Yup, the skinny one in that crazy Siskel and Ebert pairing won't be reviewing the next Star Wars picture, that's for sure. Two thumbs down.....'bout six feet down.

February 15, 1999

John D. Ehrlichman, domestic affairs adviser to President Nixon, is paying a house call to 'ol Tricky Dick. Mr. Ehrlichman did 18 months of not-so-hard time at a place called Swift Trail Camp from 1976 to 1978 for his involvement in the Watergate cover-up. John was convicted of obstruction of justice, conspiracy and perjury, but other than that we hear he was a hell of a nice guy.

February 9, 1999

Bobby Troup, the musician who wrote the song "Route 66" stopped getting his kicks Sunday. In addition to writing that swell tune, Mr. Troup played a neurosurgeon on the 1970s television drama "Emergency." Troup was 80. ".......Box on sticks on Route 66."

February 7, 1999

Well, King Hussein is dead. After a short struggle with Israel back in the 1960s and long struggle with cancer in the 1990s, the King is dead. In the last few months we at the O.B.E. kinda thought Hussein was looking a bit like Yul Brynner. Hmmmm, "The King and IV?"

Two folks had King Hussein, Deborah P and Carlos M. That makes this one a "Double Whammy" and consequently a two pointer. These two lucky Death Watchers just entered into the tie for first place.

February 2, 1999

Famed philanthropist Paul Mellon has given away his last dollar. Mr. Mellon is known for the donation of over 900 works of art to the National Gallery of Art. Not surprising when you recognize that his dad, Andrew Mellon, founded the museum. Mellon was 91 years of age. Gallagher was seen running away from the scene of the death.

January 31, 1999

Huntz Hall, the fella who played Sach in numerous "Bowery Boys"/"East Side Kids" films, won't be playing Sach anymore. The heart failure saw to that. Mr. Hall also performed in other classic films including "Angels with Dirty Faces," "Valentino," and "Herbie Rides Again". Sadly, Huntz will not have the same luck as the VW.

January 26, 1999

Author and pretty darn old lady, Sarah Delany, won't be writing anymore books. Sarah who, with her sister, wrote of their experiences growing up as a black women in the south, died Monday at the age of 109. What makes Sarah kinda neat is that she started getting recognition as a writer with books she wrote from the age of 104 and on. Yup, 104. She was a real poster girl for the AARP.

What also makes her neat is that three Death Watch Players, Chris W., Shim, and Doug M. had Sarah on their lists. This puts these three lucky players in a tie for third place with one stiff and one point each. David G. Still holds a tie with himself for first place with one stiff and two points.

Oh yeah, don't forget the monthlies are afoot! We've received plenty of funny song parodies and limericks already. Not to mention scads of Degrees of Dead Sinatra and Trivia answers. But, so far, not a single Quarterly photo. Imagine that!

January 22, 1999

Susan Strasberg, actress and daughter of famed acting coach Lee Strasberg, took a final curtain call Thursday. Ms. Strasberg was real pally with Marilyn Monore and wrote of her relationship with the sex symbol in two books. Susan did a good deal of stage, screen and television acting starting her career playing Anne Frank in the "Diary of Anne Frank."

There's been talk that Susan had an upcoming role as a terminal cancer patient and she was just following her father's methodology. But, of course, that's just hearsay.

January 15, 1999

Betty Lou Gerson, voice of the divinely devious Cruella DeVil as well as the narrator for Disney's animated classic Cinderella, had her clock strike midnight on Tuesday. Actually it didn't strike, it stroke...if you get our drift.

January 12, 1999

We've had our first pick drop. Doug Wickenheiser, 10 season hockey veteran, played the final hat trick yesterday at the age of 37. Seems cancer threw this guy right into the boards. Doug did 10 seasons in the NHL in the 80's and 90's, scoring 111 goals, making 156 assists, and playing 556 games. We couldn't find a stat on how many teeth the poor bastard lost, but were looking.

David G. had Mr. Wickenheiser on two lists. That puts Dave in a tie with himself for first place.

January 6, 1999

Seems Phil Berle, brother of Milton Berle, died on 1/2/99. He was a T.V. producer and director, helped develop the "Three Stooges", and did extra work in the movies.

Now, if this whole O.B.E. thing were a horseshoes game we'd have a few people scoring today. But it ain't, so calm the frig down.

January 4, 1999

Seems that our old pal (very old) "Iron Eyes" Cody went to that big Teepee in the sky. Mr. Cody portrayed American Indian roles in numerous motion pictures beginning with the silents and proceeding straight through the 1980s. Iron Eyes is likely best known as the "crying Indian" in those 1970's "Keep America Beautiful" advertising campaigns. If we recall correctly, he was replaced by Woodsy the Owl......."give a hoot, Cody's dead."

January 4, 1999

Former Boxing great Jerry Quarry got the ultimate KO from a combination punch of pneumonia and cardiac arrest. Jerry boxed against such masters of the sport as Ali and Foreman. Muhammad Ali was overheard saying, "Fly like a butterfly. Sting like a bee. I may look like crap, but I outlived Jerry."

P.S. We heard you Death heads, the photos will continue on the who's dead page......'Cause we love ya.

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