('Cause they're dead)

The thin flat line MIKE MCALARY (12/25/98)-Journalist. Mr. McAlary was a pulitzer prize winning journalist renowned for breaking one of the largest police brutality stories in New York City history. Mike blew the lid off the now infamous 70th precinct. A place where'd they'd just as soon kick your ass as take your statement (or so we're told). Mike had some major issues with his colon. Fortunately for Mike, not one of them involved a plunger.

First Urkel, now this! MICHELLE THOMPSON (12/24/98)-Actress. Ms. Thompson is best known for her portrayal of Theo's girlfriend on the Cosby Show and Steve Urkel's love interest on Family Matters. Michelle also played Callie on the soap opera, The Young and the Restless. She ain't restless anymore, but she sure was too damn young.

Look out Don Knotts NORMAN FELL (12/14/98)-Actor. Mr. Fell was a brilliant comedic actor who stared in over 50 movies and made for T.V. movies as well as doing countless guest appearances on sitcoms. But, Norman is best known as Mr. Roper, that gay hating landlord from Three's Company. Uh, Norman, four's a crowd.

No longer walkin' LAWTON CHILES (12/13/98)-Politician. Mr. Chiles was the Governor of Florida. In addition, Lawton served in the United States Government. It was during his run for the U.S. Senate that Lawton earned the nickname "Walkin' Lawton." He walked across Florida to meet his constituents. Mr. Chiles had a heart attack while riding his life cycle. If that one ain't an oxymoron, we don't know what is.

What you see is what you got FLIP WILSON (11/25/98)-Comedian and drag queen. Mr. Wilson got his start making guest appearances on variety and comedy shows such as Ed Sullivan, Love American Style, and Laugh-in. In the late 1960's Flip did a television special that showcased his talents. This special led to a 4 year run with his own Emmy award winning show, The Flip Wilson Show. You may recall Flip's famous character, Geraldine. Flip would always discuss her in the third person and never admit that it was him doing the character. Geraldine popularized a few great lines including, "What you see is what you get" and "The devil made me do it." Actually Flip, the cancer made you do it.

And to think I bought the Volvo for the safety record. ALAN PAKULA (11/19/98)-Producer and director. Mr. Pakula got his start in pictures as a production assistant for Paramount. In his early career he produced numerous films including To Kill A Mockingbird. However, Alan's real claim to fame came from his directorial efforts which included Klute, All The Presidents Men, Sophie's Choice, and The Devil's Own. Mr. Pakula died at the age of 70 when a truck threw up a loose piece of metal from the roadway which, in turn, penetrated the windshield of Alan's Volvo and then Alan's head. The head penetration caused Alan to veer his car from the Long Island Expressway and crash into a a dividing wall. Forget Sophie's Choice, Alan's choice should have been to take the damn train.

Ain't we lucky we got 'em....Pulses ESTHER ROLLE (11/18/98)-Actress. Ms. Rolle appeared in numerous movies including A Raisin in the Sun, Driving Miss Daisy, and Rosewood. Esther was best known however, for her portrayal of Florida Evans, the self assured mother of a low income black family. Esther's character was created for the 1970's T.V. series Maude. The character was so well received that it spawned a spin-off, Good Times. As far as we're concerned, Good Times is a 1970's T.V. classic. "Scratching and not surviving."

That signal sure looks different from up here BOB KANE (11/3/98)-Artist. Mr. Kane created and drew the original Batman comic stories for DC Comics starting in 1939. Bob always considered himself a doodler and was amazed that his work had become such a part of American pop culture. In fact, Bob's creation has been a commercial success in comics, television, and movies. In addition, who can forget "Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid and egg?" And if you think Batman smells, give Bob about two weeks.

Beneath the Planet of the Apes...Way beneath. RODDY MCDOWALL (10/3/98)-Actor. Mr. McDowall was a versatile actor who just didn't turn down roles. Roddy played in numerous "B" movies in the 1950's hit it big with some classics in the 1960's, and rode that career the rest of his life. He did Broadway and he did T.V. The guy just loved to perform. Among his roles were several portrayals in Planet of the Apes pictures, Matthew in The Greatest Story Ever Told, and Peter Vincent in the Fright Night pictures. One of his last roles was as Mr. Soil in a picture called A Bug's Life. Yup, Mr. Soil, we can't make this stuff up.

Out of the Saddle for good GENE AUTRY (10/2/98)-Actor and singer. Mr. Autry was actually an actor and a singer at the same time. Autry played many a role as a cowboy. But what made him different was he bought himself a $5 guitar, sat on his horse, played guitar, and sang. Autry's trademark, Back in the Saddle Again is a cowboy classic. In addition, Gene was the first owner of the California Angels. Oddly, now Gene is a California angel.

Heart disease in record time FLORENCE GRIFFITH JOYNER (9/21/98)-Athlete. Ms. Joyner was a triple gold medalist in Track and Field at the 1988 Olympics. Florence was characterized by her flamboyant running outfits, the fact that she ran with jewelry on, and her long finger nails. All traits unusual for someone running for speed. Florence had cardiac failure at the age of 38. Think we'll be turning in those running shoes and heading out for burgers now.

Heart disease forever GEORGE WALLACE (9/13/98)-Politician. Mr. Wallace was a former Governor of Alabama who made two bids at the Presidency. But what really brought George into the spotlight were the facts that 1) he was an avid segregationist and 2) he was shot and consequently paralyzed by a would be assassin. Mr. Wallace was the guy who stood at the door of the Montgomery, Alabama school when they tried to first enroll black students. Ya know what, he ain't standing anymore.

Sayonara AKIRA KUROSAWA (9/6/98)-Director. Mr. Kurosawa was a well known Japanese movie director. Among his classics are The Seven Samurai and Rashomon." In addition, Akira won an award at Cannes in 1985 for his self proclaimed "life's work," Ran which means Chaos. Akira has been quoted as saying, "Take 'myself,' subtract 'movies,' and the remainder is 'zero.' Guess someone subtracted 'movies.'

The Decayers E.G. MARSHALL (8/25/98)-Actor. Mr. Marshall was a character actor noted for playing politicians. So noted was E.G., that folks on the street would think he was, in fact, a politician. Everet's most notable role was that of Lawrence Preston in The Defenders, a popular 1960's TV show. In addition, Mr. Marshall did 12 films including, Town Without Pity. Well, it isn't very pretty, what a town without pity, can do!

Onto the real supreme court LEWIS POWELL (8/25/98)-Supreme Court Justice. Mr. Powell was nominated to the Supreme Court by none other than Tricky Dick Nixon himself. Lewis often cast the deciding vote in a case and was thus dubbed "The Fifth Vote" and the "Majority Maker". Though some found Powell's opinions somewhat right of center, most information indicates Lewis' opinions were without ideological motivation, based on law alone. Seems the law of nature got old Lew at the tender age of 90.

Phil Leeds. Don't follow! PHIL LEEDS (8/18/98)-Comedian. Mr. Leeds started in the comedy world in the 1920's. Phil did a number of smaller parts in movies and a hell of a lot of small character parts on television series. Just to names a few of Phil’s projects, All in the Family, Maude, Barney Miller, Night Court, Three's Company, Ally McBeal, Wings, Friends, and Ellen. Mr. Leeds most recent film work was the Richard Dreyfuss picture Krippendorf's Tribe. Now we can safely say it wasn't just the film that died.

She's Dead Jim PERSIS KHAMBATTA (8/17/98)-Actress. Ms. Khambatta was big news in India for a few years in the 1960's when she represented them in the Miss Universe contest. She won! Persis did a couple of motion pictures and TV appearances here in the U.S. Most notably Ms. Khambatta played the bald Lieutenant, Ilia, in Star Trek-The Motion Picture. Check this out: Persis won the Miss India title wearing a dress she grabbed "off the rack" shortly before the contest. We hear that her mortician is heading over to K-MART to get her final duds. Heck, it worked once.

See you in the hereafter..Uh, actually, I probably won't JIM MURRAY (8/17/98)-Sports Writer. Mr. Murray was a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist who covered the sports scene. Jim helped create the cornerstone of sports periodicals in the country today, Sports Illustrated. Mr. Murray was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1987. In addition, Jim was legally blind since 1979. Mr. Murray died on Sunday, August 17, 1998 of cardiac arrest. He didn't even see it coming.

Gee Mrs. Wilson, you don't look so good SYLVIA FIELD TRUEX (8/10/98)-Actress. Ms. Truex appeared in a few of films and television shows. Most notably, Sylivia played Mrs. Wilson on Dennis the Menace in the late 50s and early 60s. "Mrs. Wilson, can Mr. Wilson come out and play? Mrs. Wilson? Mrs. Wilson? Mrs. Wilson!"

This is one hushed puppy SHARI LEWIS (8/2/98)-Kids show host. Ms. Lewis got her start on The Captain Kangaroo Show and went on to host numerous shows of her own. The common thread in all the shows were her famous sock puppets, Charlie Horse, Hush Puppy, and of course, Lamb Chop. Lewis won numerous Emmys and Parent's Choice awards as well as several other awards. In additon to puppeteering, Lewis would perform musical numbers on her shows. One of her most famous was The Song That Never Ends. Guess what? It ended.

Howdy Deady "BUFFALO" BOB SMITH (7/30/98)-Kids show host. Mr. Smith hosted the now famous Howdy Doody Show for thirteen years starting in 1947. Bob was born in Buffalo (duh) and got his start in vaudeville. He went on to host a radio show. From there, it was on to NBC and to puppeteering fame. Hey kids, what time is it? It's Howdy Doody's time.

Shall We Die (ba dum bum bum) JEROME ROBBINS (7/29/98)-Choreographer, Director. Mr. Robbins choreographed and directed both ballet and broadway musicals. Among some of his best known shows include The King and I, Fiddler on the Roof, The Pajama Game, Peter Pan, and West Side Story. Jerome was known as a demanding man who always produced wonderful results. Except, of course, the time he demanded that the stroke wouldn't kill him.

Bang! Zoom! Straight to the tomb. ALAN SHEPARD (7/22/98)-Astronaut. Mr. Shepard was the first American in space. He flew 302 miles up on May 5, 1961. It took 15 minutes. He later manned an Apollo mission, Apollo 14. When he arrived on the moon ya know what he did? He hit golf balls. The guy travels all the way to the moon and hits golf balls. Shepard was 74. We think that's about par for this course.

Tumorama BOB MCALLISTER (7/21/98)-Kids Show Host. Mr. McAllister got started as a magician. He moved on to ventriloquism and, after winning a talent contest, landed a job hosting a kid's show in Norfolk and Baltimore. His talent at hosting these shows landed him a contract with ABC television. Bob hosted the popular T.V. show Wonderama starting in 1967. Later he hosted a spin off show called Kids are People Too for which he won an emmy. Bob never lost his magic roots. He taught adult classes in magic at Stuyvesant High School in Manhattan. He could not, however, make his tumors disappear.

Fake physician heal thyself ROBERT YOUNG (7/21/98)-Actor. Mr. Young entered films in 1931. He went on to perform on a radio show in a role that was later adapted to T.V. It was that T.V. role that made him famous. Robert was the nation's most loved father on Father Knows Best. In the late 1960s he became well known again as the nations most loved doctor on Marcus Welby M.D. Robert was 91 years of age. Let's face it, young he wasn't.

I was 82, what the hell is that in dog years? HUGH REILLY (7/17/98)-Actor. Mr. Reilly played Paul Martin, dad of Timmy Martin. Timmy, of course, was the little punk ass who owned Lassie on the T.V. show of the same name. Hugh didn't have a real glamorous career nor did he perform in hundreds of great movies or T.V. shows. But damn, he played against a dog and the dog got better billing and more name recognition. We figured we owed the guy something.

You deserve a corpse today RICHARD MCDONALD(7/14/98)-Fast Food Dude. Mr. McDonald, with his brother, founded a little fast food joint in the Chicago area. They called the place McDonalds. After a few years running the joint the brothers sold the place to a fella named Ray Kroc. The rest is history. The original "Over eighty quadrillion, sixty billion, thousands of millions served" slogan was created by Richard. Reports are unclear, but it is rumored that Richard had a Big Mac Attack.

We don't serve corpses here HAROLD BUTLER (7/9/98)-Not So Fast Food Dude. Mr. Butler was the founder of the Denny's restaurant chain. You may remember the chain because they got in a bit of hot water for providing poor service to several black government agents awhile back. The agents brought suit against Denny's. Say what you want, a Grand Slam still tastes pretty good to us. And those bacon and eggs...Mmmmmmm.

By the way, I was Liza's godmother too! KAY THOMPSON (7/7/98)-Actress, Musician, Author. Ms. Thompson not only sang with the Mills Brothers, she was an arranger and singer with the Fred Waring's band and a pianist with the St. Louis Symphony. Later, she moved on to acting and ultimately performed on her own show for radio (Kay Thompson and Company) and acted in a one women show in 1954. In addition, Kay is the author four books based on a bratty little girl from New York who lives in the Plaza Hotel. The girl and book series are called "Eloise". They include "Eloise", "Eloise in Paris", "Eloise at Christmastime", "Eloise in Moscow" and just recently out, "Eloise in Coffin."

Roy Rogers and Pale Heavens ROY ROGERS (7/6/98)-Cowboy, Actor, Fast Food Dude. Mr. Rogers (Nah, not the sweater guy) was known as the "King of the Cowboys." With trusty horse - Trigger and loving wife - Dale Evans, Roy made his career acting and singing. Rogers appeared in over 100 movies and numerous television shows. But most importantly to the Guys at the O.B.E., Roy made a pretty good roast beef sandwich...Even if it did taste a bit like Trigger from time to time. (DISCLAIMER: That of course, is just our opinion).

Him Tarzan, me dead. MAUREEN O'SULLIVAN (6/23/98)-Actress. Ms. O'Sullivan, at nine, wanted to be a pilot. As she aged, her aspirations changed. She went on to do over 60 feature films. Her most famous role was Jane, Tarzan's girl and ultimate wife. In addition, Maureen gave birth to seven children including Mia Farrow. Momma Mia...see ya.

Heads I live Tails I...Damn REG SMYTHE (6/13/98)-Cartoonist. Mr. Smythe was the creator of that drinker among drinkers and brow beaten husband deluxe, Andy Capp. Reg began drawing the strip in 1957 and quickly gained recognition. Today, the strip is well known world wide. In addition, Andy Capp's picture graces a tasty snack called Pub Fries (and Hot Fries). Andy Capp is well known for being late, especially after a night of drinking. We're not sure if Reg was much of a drinker, but he certainly is late. Hiccup!

Hug dirt fella LEO BUSCAGLIA (6/12/98)-Author. Mr. Buscaglia wrote a bunch of books about love. Ya know, lots of that 1970's feel good crap. As a general rule of thumb, if the book you're about to buy is in the self help section of the store, you should put it down, head over to the Humor section and buy something there. In the end, it's probably a safer bet. Just ask Leo....he couldn't even help himself out of a heart attack. Love our ass, how about some nitro pills next time Leo.

Boom, chica boom, chica boom, chica boom boom STEVE SANDERS (6/10/98)-Musician. Mr. Sanders was the front man for country music band The Oak Ridge Boys. He sang lead on such hits as "Lucky Moon" and "No Matter How High." Before singing, Steve played guitar for the band, most notably on the hit "Elvira." Mr. Sanders blew his head off. Rumor is it was a sign of support for Charlton Heston.

Beam him up Scotty, he's dead BARRY GOLDWATER (5/29/98)-Politician. Mr. Goldwater was a senator from 1952 to 1964. In 1964 he ran, unsuccessfully, for president against Lydon Johnson. He was re-elected to the senate in 1974 and served until 1987. What makes Barry kinda wacky fun is that he believed, to his core, that secret UFO research was going on in the U.S. government and that the government was hiding a heap of information on UFO's. This guy was X-Files before X-Files was X-files. Now, he is X-pired.

I thought David Spade was the star of 'Just Shoot Me' PHIL HARTMAN (5/28/98)-Comedian. Mr. Hartman did eight seasons on "Saturday Night Live" where he was known for his impersonations of numerous celebrities. Hartman went on to get a leading role in NBC's "New's Radio" playing the very sarcastic Bill McNeal. Phil also did voice work on the animated series "The Simpsons", most notably as Troy McClure......"Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such movies as "My Wife Shot Me."

He's a perfect 6 ...feet under JOHN DEREK (5/22/98)-Actor, Director, Bo's Husband. Mr. Derek appeared in numerous classics including "Exodus" and "The Ten Commandments." Then he directed a bunch of terrible pictures including "Ghost's Can't Do It" and "Bolero." Laugh all you want, he has been married to Pati Behrs, Ursula Andress, Linda Evans and Bo Derek. After sex with Bo, what else is there to live for?

Old Shut Eyes FRANCIS ALBERT SINATRA (5/14/98)-Singer, Actor, Philosopher, and so much more. It would be grossly inappropriate for the O.B.E. to attempt to sum up the life of our hero in three or four lines. Instead we thought it would be best to give you just a flavor for a great man who sadly is no longer with us. Hey, That's Life!

The Everglades National Park: River of Ash MARJORY STONEMAN-DOUGLAS (5/14/98)-Environmentalist, Author. Ms. Douglas was a vocal proponent of saving the Florida Everglades since the early 1900s. Her battle, which started to prevent the Everglades from being converted to farmland, continued right up to her death. She focused both public opinion and poltical decision making on preservation of the Everglades. She even wrote a book on the topic called "The Everglades: River of Grass." She died at the age of 108 and is to be creamated. Her ashes will be spread across Everglade National Park. Damn polluter.

My 1962 remake of State Fair isn't the only thing that died. ALICE FAYE (5/9/98)-Actress. Ms. Faye, original name Alice Leppert, grew up in hell's kitchen and went on to become a famous singer/actress starring in motion pictures including "Tin Pan Alley" and Alexander's Ragtime Band." Alice was married to band leader Phil Harris for 54 years (a marriage they said wouldn't make six months). After years under contract with FOX, she gave up movie life in favor of home life. After years on the Earth, she gave up all life for no life.

Two dead dicks BEBE REBOZO(5/8/98)-Banker. So why is a banker famous? Easy! He was pals with a president (hey, look at McDougal). Not just any president mind you; Mr. Rebozo was there when Richard Nixon got the Watergate phone call. According to Bebe, they laughed about it. Bebe stood by Nixon throughout the Watergate scandal. Mr. Rebozo died from undisclosed causes. We suspect it was embarrassment over his support for that scoundrel Nixon.

Ohh, I've driven my life away EDDIE RABBITT (5/7/98)-Musician. Mr. Rabbit bounced between country and pop music. Although a country singer and songwriter, he had several pop hits in the late 1970's and early 1980's. Eddie wrote a hit tune for Elvis ("Kentucky Rain") as well as those pop wonders "I Love a Rainy Night", "Drivin' My Life Away," "Step by Step" and a duet with Crystal Gayle, "You and I." He developed lung cancer over the last few years. The Rabbitt died (wonder if this means we're pregnant?).

Twice born, once dead ELDRIDGE CLEAVER (5/1/98)-Militant. In the 1960's Mr. Cleaver was was shaking up "Whitey" good as a leader of the Black Panthers. But, by the 1980's Eldridge had become a drug addict. After years of battling drug abuse, Mr. Cleaver cleaned up his act and became a Born Again Christian in the early 1990's. Darn, he even became a Republican. He died at the age of 62 from an undisclosed cause. We suspect it was "The Man."

Marie Louise here I come! CHRISTIAN MORTENSEN (4/27/98)-Very Old Person. Mr. Mortensen was, up until recently, the world's oldest man. He lived in California and attributed his longevity to drinking lots of bottled water and smoking an occasional cigar. Now, there was that fella in Nepal who died on April 20, 1998. He claimed to be 141 but had no proof. Mortensen had a birth certificate indicating he was over 115 years old. Now he's got a death certificate to match.

Finally!JAMES EARL RAY (4/23/98)-Assassin. Mr. Ray is famous for one reason only...'cause he confessed to shooting and killing Martin Luther King Jr. outside the Lorraine Motel, Memphis Tennessee in April of 1968. He would later deny that he killed King, professing that a mystery person known only as "Raoul" killed King. Mr. Ray has been ill for years and has spent his time slipping in and out the hospital and a coma (keeping Death Watchers on the edge of their seats). Ray's father was quoted as saying his son was not smart enough to have pulled off such a crime by himself. Ray was heard to mumble, "Gee, thanks dad."

Paul buried ILINDA MCCARTNEY (4/17/98)-Photographer, Quasi-musician. Ms. McCartney (nee Eastman) was a well known photographer when she married Paul McCartney of Beatles fame in 1969. After the  band's break up, Paul went on to do solo work and formed a little band called Wings. Linda played keyboards and sang, though she did neither very well. Linda was an outspoken vegetarian and even wrote a "meatless" cookbook and had a vegetarian line of foods. Boy, Linda keels over and Yoko is still around. Sometimes life just isn't fair!

Je suis morteMARIE LOUISE MEILLEUR (4/16/98)-Very old person. Ms. Meileur was said to be the world's oldest woman. She was 117. Marie had 10 kids, 85 grandchildren, 80 great grandchildren, and 57 great, great grandchildren. Think about this, her oldest living child is 89. She was no tap dancer, comedian, singer, movie star or the like, but she did bear an uncanny resemblance to Victor Borge.

Burn in hell asshole!POL POT (4/16/98)-Mass Murderer. He was the leader of Cambodia from 1975 to 1979. He was responsible for the death of over 1.7 million of his own people. In a word, he was a dick. He died of a heart attack. Strange, we didn't think this bastard had a heart.

Now she's ectoplasmaticWENDY O. WILLIAMS (4/6/98)-Musician. Ms. WIlliams was the front gal for the punk rock legends the Plasmatics. She was famous for performing in skimpy outfits (or no outfit at all, using things like shaving cream or audio tape as clothing). The Plasmatics would get on stage or T.V. and blow up cars, televisions, instruments, you name it. Seems Wendy got a little carried away and blew up her own head with a shotgun.

Tired Tammy gets eternal GrammyTAMMY WYNETTE (4/6/98)-Singer. Ms. Wynette was a country music legend; "Stand by Your Man" and "D-I-V-O-R-C-E" being among the hits. She worked picking cotton, waiting tables, as a receptionist, serving drinks, making shoes, and as a beautician before she started her singing career. She was married 5 times (stand by your man, man, man, man, and man), was kidnapped and beaten once, went bankrupt, and cut 30 albums. We'd be dead too.

Girl you know I'm blueROB PILATUS (4/4/98)-Faker. Mr. Pilatus and his pally Fabrice Morvan pretended to have singing careers in the 1980's under the name Milli Vanilli. We say pretended 'cause, as you may recall, they never really sang a stitch; they lip-synched it all. What a bunch of weenies. Rob overdosed. We aren't sure if he was Milli or Vanilli but we're certain he shouldn't have drank and taken pillies.

This woman's place is in the groundBELLA ABZUG (3/31/98)-Politician, feminist. Ms. Abzug was the first Jewish woman to win a seat in Congress. She ran for that seat in 1970 using the slogan "A woman's place is in the house." In the 1970's, during her stint in congress, she strongly opposed the Vietnam war. Bella was a strong advocate for peace, feminism, and human rights. Her trademarks included her hats and her feisty persistent attitude. Damn we hope God is a gal. 'Cause if he isn't, he's in for a rash of crap.

From cradles to graveDR. BENJAMIN SPOCK (3/16/98)-Doctor, author. Dr. Spock is famous for his book on raising children, appropriately called, "Baby and Child Care." Spock was also an Olympic rower and ran for president in 1972. Although dubbed the "father of permissiveness" for his liberal manner of child rearing, his book has enjoyed immense popularity worldwide for more than 50 years. And no, he is not a Vulcan (so I wouldn't hold your breath for the sequel).

The Bridges under Los Angeles CountyLLOYD BRIDGES (3/10/98)-Actor. Mr. Bridges has been a member of the acting community for over fifty years. Lloyd was in well over 100 motion pictures and appeared on numerous TV shows, most famously his staring role in Sea Hunt. Lloyd was not above comedy as is evidenced by his roles in "Hot Shots" and "Airplane-The Movie". Guess he picked a bad day to quit breathing.

From Whitewater to the great white lightJIM MCDOUGAL (3/8/98)-Businessman. Mr. McDougal is best know for his role in the Whitewater affair which has plagued the Clinton Presidency like roaches under the sink. Jim was serving a prison term for fraud associated with the Whitewater Land Deal. Mr. McDougal had cut a deal with the Independent Counsel's office regarding the investigation into the Whitewater matter. I don't think this was what he had in mind when he was offered a reduced sentence.

Cut! That's a wrap.J.T. WALSH (2/27/98)-Actor. Mr. Walsh started his acting career in 1975 at the age of 31. Prior to that he had been a social worker, journalist, salesman and teacher. J.T. is best known for playing cowardly bad guys. Although he's not a household name, he has worked in films consistently for over 15 years playing over 60 movie and television roles. In 1995 he played Ted Hannon in the motion picture "The Little Death." In 1998 he played J.T. Walsh in the big death.

guy vs. dieANTONIO PROHIAS (2/24/98)-Cartoonist. Mr. Prohias was born in Cuba where he established himself as a well known cartoonist. He left for NYC in 1960 as Castro came to power. He started work at MAD magazine where he drew the now famous SPY vs. SPY strip. Appropriate dress for the funeral is black or white.

I said WIFE not LIFE!HENNY YOUNGMAN (2/24/98)-Comedian, Actor. Mr. Youngman was a classic old school comedian who earned his reputation in the Borscht Belt. Besides performing stand-up, he appeared in numerous movies, spoke at countless roasts, and likely ate thousands of lunches at the Friars Club. In comedy circles Henny was known as the "king of the one liner." Now he's the king of the flat liner.

Who cares what's for supper, I'm dead!GRANDPA JONES (2/19/98)-Musician, Comedian. Grandpa, Louis Marshall Jones, joined the Grand Ole Opry in 1947. At that time he had already been known as Grandpa for 11 years. His Grandpa character and banjo playing earned him a spot on the variety show "Hee Haw" which ran from 1968 to 1993. For those of you who were wondering, we think his April 8th, 1998 appearance at the Cross Country Trail Ride in Eminence, Missouri has been indefinitely postponed.

Cubs lose, Cubs lose, Cubs lose!HARRY CARAY (2/18/98)-Broadcaster. Mr. Caray announced for numerous ball clubs, ending with the Chicago Cubs. Harry's trademark yells of, "Holy Cow" and his leading the fans in singing "Take me out to the ball game" are legendary to Cubs fans. He collapsed at a restaurant on February 14, 1998, was hospitalized, and four days later, died. Rumor has it that he was removed from the restaurant on a seventh inning stretcher.

In my tombCARL WILSON (2/6/98)-Musician. Mr. Wilson played guitar for one of the biggest groups of the 1960s, The Beach Boys. The band immortalized the sun, surf, cool cars, and sexy chicks lifestyle which became a symbol of the California beach culture. Mr. Wilson died from cancer at the age of 51. Guess the summer wasn't endless after all.

Dead KommissarFALCO (2/6/98)-Musician. Hansi Hoelzl, aka FALCO, had pop hits in North America in the 1980s with "Rock Me Amadeus" and "Der Kommissar". FALCO released more than 15 albums in Europe. Mr. Hoelzl was living in the Dominican Republic where he hoped to build a recording studio. His jeep collided with a bus. In 1998, the Austrian pop star Falco becomes road kill.

Mr. Lord, meet the LordJACK LORD (1/21/98)-Actor, artist. Mr. Lord performed in various movies and TV series throughout the 1950s and 1960s. Jack studied art at NYU and some of his paintings are in permanent collections (even at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NYC). But of course, Jack is best known for his portrayal of Steve McGarrett in the TV series Hawaii Five-O. Mr. Lord died of heart failure at the age of 77. He requested no funeral. So, don't book it Dano.

Perkins has Elvis sightingCARL PERKINS (1/19/98)-Musician, song writer. Carl played rock-a-billy music when rock-a-billy was king, the 1950's. Although a popular musician in his own right, he is best known for the works he wrote for others. This dude wrote Blue Suede Shoes for Elvis and a bunch of tunes that the Beatles performed. Carl had several successive strokes in December of 1997. It was one stroke for the money, two for the show, three really got him, then go Carl go!

Really blue nowJUNIOR WELLS (1/15/98)-Musician. Mr. Wells, a world famous bluesman, was especially well known for his harmonica playing. Junior, real name Amos Blackmore, was born in Memphis, Tennessee on December 9, 1934. He was considered to be one of the last great Chicago bluesmen. After fighting lymphoma for several months, Junior died at the age of 63. Not so well after all.

Damn trees! SONNY BONO (1/5/98)-Singer, actor, and politician. Mr. Bono performed throughout the 1960's and 70's with his then wife, Cher. Both the duo and the marriage fell apart. Sonny went on to become the mayor of Palm Springs and ultimately a United States congressman. Sonny was skiing and ran into a tree. The tree won. If life's an uphill battle, then death's a downhill slalom.

Boop Boop Bee ThudMAE QUESTEL (1/4/98)-Actress and vocal talent. Ms. Questel started a long career in the cartoon business by providing the voice of Betty Boop and later Olive Oyl. She later performed in person in a bunch of pictures including "Funny Girl". In 1988 she revisited her vocal role as Betty Boop in the acclaimed film "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" Mae was in over 130 movies, either in person or as a vocal talent. That's a lot of movies! She was born in 1908 but still looked like she did sixty years ago as the photo to the left illustrates.

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