The Lady Vanishes
(and so do some of the fellas)

JAMES AVERY (12/31/2013)
Actor. Age 68.
Now this is a story in the form of a song, how open heart surgery sometimes goes wrong...




MIKHAIL KALASHNIKOV (12/23/2013)
Russian General and Arms Desinger. Age 94.
He went out with a bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.




RONNIE BIGGS (12/18/2013)
Great Train Robber. Age 84.
Gonnie Biggs.




RAY PRICE (12/16/2013)
Singer. Age 87.
"Please release me, let me go." Done.




JOAN FONTAINE (12/15/2013)
Actress. Age 96.
And to think, she was Olivia de Havilland's YOUNGER sister. Sheesh.




PETER O'TOOLE (12/14/2013)
Actor. Age 81.
Clearly not HIS favorite year.




ELEANOR PARKER (12/9/2013)
Actor. Age 91.
Woman of 1000 faces, all of them pale and expressionless.




NELSON MANDELA (11/30/2013)
Anti-apartheid Revolutionary and Politician. Age 95.
He most definitely ain't gonna play Sun City.




PAUL WALKER (11/30/2013)
Actor. Age 40.
Boy did his career crash and burn.




SYLVIA BROWNE (11/20/2013)
Psychic. Age 77.
No, Sylvia blue.




LOU REED (10/27/2013)
Musician. Age 71.
Hey Lou, take a walk on the other side.




MARCIA WALLACE (10/25/2013)
Actress, Game Show Regular. Age 70.
And the password is....mortality.




MALCOM SCOTT CARPENTER (10/10/2013)
Astronaut. Age 88.
If I were a carpeneter and you were my lady....widow.



TOM CLANCY (10/1/2013)
Author. Age 66.
Tomb Clancy




ARIEL CASTRO (9/4/2013)
An Evil Man. Age 52.
What a shame...he didn't suffer a little more.




DAVID FROST (8/31/2013)
Journalist, Writer, TV Host. Age 74.
Cold.




JULIE HARRIS (8/24/2013)
Actress. Age 87.
Ghouly Harris.




EYDIE GORME (8/10/2013)
Singer. Age 84.
Blame it on the bossa nova.




KAREN BLACK (8/8/2013)
Actress. Age 74.
House of 1000 (and one) Corpses.




EILEEN BRENNAN (7/28/2013)
Actress. Age 80.
Mrs. Peacock...in Burbank...with the bladder cancer?




DENNIS FARINA (7/22/2013)
Actor. Age 69.
Of course he's a celebrity, you can't turn on cable without seeing Law and Order.




HELEN THOMAS (7/20/2013)
Reporter. Age 92.
Upon notice of her death, more than a few Israeli Jews provided a suggestion as to where Helen might go....




JAMES GANDOLFINI (6/19/2013)
Actor. Age 51.
Damn! Who'll help those poor little Hobbits destroy the ring now?




SLIM WHITMAN (6/19/2013)
Singer. Age 90.
...And getting slimmer.




ESTHER WILLIAMS (6/6/2013)
Actress. Age 91.
In this world it's sink or swim and Esther already did plenty of swimming.





FRANK LAUTENBERG (6/3/2013)
Seanator. Age 89.
Left or right, Republican or Democrat, there's one thing we can all agree on about Senator Frank Lautenberg...He's dead.




JEAN STAPLETON (5/31/2013)
Actress. Age 90.
You mean she didn't die in 1980 of a stroke, WTF?




RAY MANZAREK (5/20/2013)
Musician. Age 74.
The time to hesitate is through...




JOYCE BROTHERS (5/13/2013)
Dr. Joyce Brothers. Age 85.
Shrink.



RAY HARRYHAUSEN (5/7/2013)
Perhaps the greatest special effects person ever! Age 92.
Stopped motion.




DEANNA DURBIN (4/30/2013)
Actress. Age 91.
Three Smart Girls (all of whom are now dead).




GEORGE JONES (4/26/2013)
Musician. Age 81.
I Always Get Lucky With You (except this last time).




RICHIE HAVENS (4/22/2013)
Musician. Age 72.
Anagram: He's in archive.




ALLAN ARBUS (4/19/2013)
Actor. Age 95.
D*E*A*D




GEORGE BEVERLY SHEA (4/16/2013)
Gospel Singer. Age 104.
He never really bounced back after they demolished his stadium in '09.




PAT SUMMERALL (4/16/2013)
Football Player and Sportscaster. Age 82.
To sum 'er all up, Pat's dead (that or Madden ate him).




JONATHAN WINTERS (4/11/2013)
Comedian and Actor. Age 87.
It's a sad, sad, sad, sad world.




ANNETTE FUNICELLO (4/8/2013)
Mouseketeer, Actress. Age 70.
How to Stuff a Wild Bikini...into a coffin.




MARGARET THATCHER (4/8/2013)
Former British Prime Minister. Age 87.
"I am not immortal, but I've got a lot left in me yet." Half true certainly.




ROGER EBERT (4/4/2013)
Film Critic. Age 70.
We're told that when he was first informed of his cancer his jaw dropped.




HARRY REEMS (3/19/2013)
Porn Actor. Age 65.
Anagram: Ream Sherry (and plenty of others too).




HUGO CHAVEZ (3/5/2013)
President of Venezuela. Age 58.
The guy may have had a hit with Les MisÚrables but he sure built a crappy subcompact car. We never really understood that whole grape boycott thing of his either.




BONNIE FRANKLIN (3/1/2013)
Actress. Age 69.
No Bonnie, THIS is it.




VAN CLIBURN (2/27/2013)
Pianist. Age 78.
"The tour was going great until the Van died."




C. EVERETT KOOP (2/25/2013)
Former Surgeon General. Age 96.
See Everett pooped.




JERRY BUSS (2/18/2013)
Lakers Owner, Poker Player. Age 80.
"I'm all in..."




MINDY MCCREADY (2/17/2013)
Country Singer. Age 37.
Country is the new Grunge. Suck it, Kurt Cobain.




ED KOCH (2/1/2013)
Former NYC Mayor. Age 88.
How'm I Doin'? (Not so good).




PATTY ANDREWS (1/30/2013)
An Andrews Sister. Age 94.
Shoo-Shoo Baby!




STAN MUSIAL (1/19/2013)
Baseball Great. Age 92.
Stan The Man is in the can.




ABIGAIL VAN BUREN (PAULINE PHILLIPS) (1/16/2013)
Advice Columnist. Age 94.
"I'm afraid I simply won't be able to continue my career of giving crappy advice to total strangers, what should I do? - Morte in Minneapolis"




CONRAD BAIN (1/14/2013)
Actor. Age 89.
Now his world don't move, period.




PATTI PAGE (1/1/2013)
Singer. Age 85.
Crossed over the bridge.



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