The Lady Vanishes
(and so do some of the fellas)

JAMES AVERY (12/31/2013)
Actor. Age 68.
Now this is a story in the form of a song, how open heart surgery sometimes goes wrong...

Russian General and Arms Desinger. Age 94.
He went out with a bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.

RONNIE BIGGS (12/18/2013)
Great Train Robber. Age 84.
Gonnie Biggs.

RAY PRICE (12/16/2013)
Singer. Age 87.
"Please release me, let me go." Done.

JOAN FONTAINE (12/15/2013)
Actress. Age 96.
And to think, she was Olivia de Havilland's YOUNGER sister. Sheesh.

PETER O'TOOLE (12/14/2013)
Actor. Age 81.
Clearly not HIS favorite year.

ELEANOR PARKER (12/9/2013)
Actor. Age 91.
Woman of 1000 faces, all of them pale and expressionless.

NELSON MANDELA (11/30/2013)
Anti-apartheid Revolutionary and Politician. Age 95.
He most definitely ain't gonna play Sun City.

PAUL WALKER (11/30/2013)
Actor. Age 40.
Boy did his career crash and burn.

SYLVIA BROWNE (11/20/2013)
Psychic. Age 77.
No, Sylvia blue.

LOU REED (10/27/2013)
Musician. Age 71.
Hey Lou, take a walk on the other side.

MARCIA WALLACE (10/25/2013)
Actress, Game Show Regular. Age 70.
And the password is....mortality.

Astronaut. Age 88.
If I were a carpeneter and you were my lady....widow.

TOM CLANCY (10/1/2013)
Author. Age 66.
Tomb Clancy

ARIEL CASTRO (9/4/2013)
An Evil Man. Age 52.
What a shame...he didn't suffer a little more.

DAVID FROST (8/31/2013)
Journalist, Writer, TV Host. Age 74.

JULIE HARRIS (8/24/2013)
Actress. Age 87.
Ghouly Harris.

EYDIE GORME (8/10/2013)
Singer. Age 84.
Blame it on the bossa nova.

KAREN BLACK (8/8/2013)
Actress. Age 74.
House of 1000 (and one) Corpses.

EILEEN BRENNAN (7/28/2013)
Actress. Age 80.
Mrs. Burbank...with the bladder cancer?

DENNIS FARINA (7/22/2013)
Actor. Age 69.
Of course he's a celebrity, you can't turn on cable without seeing Law and Order.

HELEN THOMAS (7/20/2013)
Reporter. Age 92.
Upon notice of her death, more than a few Israeli Jews provided a suggestion as to where Helen might go....

Actor. Age 51.
Damn! Who'll help those poor little Hobbits destroy the ring now?

SLIM WHITMAN (6/19/2013)
Singer. Age 90.
...And getting slimmer.

Actress. Age 91.
In this world it's sink or swim and Esther already did plenty of swimming.

Seanator. Age 89.
Left or right, Republican or Democrat, there's one thing we can all agree on about Senator Frank Lautenberg...He's dead.

JEAN STAPLETON (5/31/2013)
Actress. Age 90.
You mean she didn't die in 1980 of a stroke, WTF?

RAY MANZAREK (5/20/2013)
Musician. Age 74.
The time to hesitate is through...

JOYCE BROTHERS (5/13/2013)
Dr. Joyce Brothers. Age 85.

Perhaps the greatest special effects person ever! Age 92.
Stopped motion.

DEANNA DURBIN (4/30/2013)
Actress. Age 91.
Three Smart Girls (all of whom are now dead).

GEORGE JONES (4/26/2013)
Musician. Age 81.
I Always Get Lucky With You (except this last time).

RICHIE HAVENS (4/22/2013)
Musician. Age 72.
Anagram: He's in archive.

ALLAN ARBUS (4/19/2013)
Actor. Age 95.

Gospel Singer. Age 104.
He never really bounced back after they demolished his stadium in '09.

PAT SUMMERALL (4/16/2013)
Football Player and Sportscaster. Age 82.
To sum 'er all up, Pat's dead (that or Madden ate him).

Comedian and Actor. Age 87.
It's a sad, sad, sad, sad world.

Mouseketeer, Actress. Age 70.
How to Stuff a Wild Bikini...into a coffin.

Former British Prime Minister. Age 87.
"I am not immortal, but I've got a lot left in me yet." Half true certainly.

ROGER EBERT (4/4/2013)
Film Critic. Age 70.
We're told that when he was first informed of his cancer his jaw dropped.

HARRY REEMS (3/19/2013)
Porn Actor. Age 65.
Anagram: Ream Sherry (and plenty of others too).

HUGO CHAVEZ (3/5/2013)
President of Venezuela. Age 58.
The guy may have had a hit with Les MisÚrables but he sure built a crappy subcompact car. We never really understood that whole grape boycott thing of his either.

Actress. Age 69.
No Bonnie, THIS is it.

VAN CLIBURN (2/27/2013)
Pianist. Age 78.
"The tour was going great until the Van died."

C. EVERETT KOOP (2/25/2013)
Former Surgeon General. Age 96.
See Everett pooped.

JERRY BUSS (2/18/2013)
Lakers Owner, Poker Player. Age 80.
"I'm all in..."

MINDY MCCREADY (2/17/2013)
Country Singer. Age 37.
Country is the new Grunge. Suck it, Kurt Cobain.

ED KOCH (2/1/2013)
Former NYC Mayor. Age 88.
How'm I Doin'? (Not so good).

PATTY ANDREWS (1/30/2013)
An Andrews Sister. Age 94.
Shoo-Shoo Baby!

STAN MUSIAL (1/19/2013)
Baseball Great. Age 92.
Stan The Man is in the can.

Advice Columnist. Age 94.
"I'm afraid I simply won't be able to continue my career of giving crappy advice to total strangers, what should I do? - Morte in Minneapolis"

CONRAD BAIN (1/14/2013)
Actor. Age 89.
Now his world don't move, period.

PATTI PAGE (1/1/2013)
Singer. Age 85.
Crossed over the bridge.

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