THE O.B.E. MAIL BAG

This portion of the O.B.E is dedicated to those of you who are among the living. During the course of the year, feel free to e-mail the O.B.E. with thoughts, opinions, and general fun stuff.

This page reads from the top down. Wanna go directly to the most recent postings? Just press this thingy




KEITH:
I recently sent in my entries for the coming year; however, I would like to discard my entry (if possible) and submit the following revised list. If this is a problem, please just keep my original list. However, since it's not yet the first of the year, I thought I would be doing no harm in revising my entry. Let me know if this ok. Thanks.

THE GUYS:
Sorry Keith, no changes once you enter.

KEITH:
Whatever. Thanks for being flexible.
By the way, don't hold your breath for any kind of "donation" from me.

THE GUYS:
Man, why so negative. We expect to get about 100 entries this year. If we were to allow second and third changes each time news breaks between mid-december and january we'll go nuts. Furthermore, it wouldn't be fair to folks who send only one entry in, without changes. As we clearly say in the rules, donations are not required. You do what you see fit, but don't be such a downer.

KEITH:
Your argument contains several fallacies. "Second and third changes"? Who said anything about third changes? I wanted to make some simple adjustments, that's all. "Every time news breaks"? Are you implying that I heard information on the TV or radio that made me want to alter my choices? If so, you are incorrect. It's not easy to come up with these lists, and the names I had tossed around in the past, but they slipped my mind when I was coming up with the final list (which is very pressure-inducing, as you probably know). Finally, did it ever occur to you that the people who send in one entry without making changes don't want to change their entries? What's so unfair about that? I'm not being negative; you are. You can't make a simple change for me--something that would probably take less than a minute. Where does it say in the rules that changes aren't allowed before the deadline? Nowhere, last I checked. I'll bet maybe only a couple of other people have made the same request. It just seems unfair, that's all. And let's be honest...I'll bet you would have no qualms about changing your own picks.

Like I said....whatever. An (unwritten and unstated) rule is a "rule". I was prepared to send in a $20 donation. Yes, I know I'm not required to give a dime, but I enjoy the contest and the funny e-mails, and I wanted to make some sort of contribution to help keep the site and the list going. But if you can't give a little, then I don't intend to give anything.

I'm looking forward to the 2003 contest regardless; Good luck.

THE GUYS:
Well Keith, we're sincerely glad you enjoy the O.B.E. That's what we do it for!




HUDSUCKER "CAP PISTOL" LEE, VIII:
Well, I'll be a swamp rat with his whiskers in a bunch. I show up here on January 1 to see the new entries, to see if I put Ma' on my list, and you dern fools have put'near done no updates. I traded all my Confederate money for a Pet Commodore 64 so that I can watch this Death thing live (how's that for a pun?).

What do I get? Nothing but the same thing that a shaved dog gets. A lot of crazy looks - that's what. Think you could get off your northern lazy butts and post the new entries? People are dyin' all the time. Maybe Ma' will go soon, too.

THE GUYS:
They'll be posted on or before January 10, 2003 as per the rules. As an aside, why are you shaving your dog?

HUDSUCKER "CAP PISTOL" LEE, VIII:
Shavin' the mutt is better than havin' to Shave Ma'




M.I. RICH:
I have Joe Foss on the list I sent you in the 2003 O.B.E. Besides being a war hero and a governor, he was also a football commissioner and National Rifle Association president and featured subject in Tom Brokaw's recent best-selling book, "The Greatest Generation." Talk about busy. Talk about famous. Talk about the first hit of 2003.




PATRICK:
You got Maureen O'Sullivan dead and buried but I was just watching her on Larry King Live. Which one of your are jiving me I wonder? She said she is now 84 and looks like she could still slap John Wayne upside the head any time she wanted.

THE GUYS:
Maureen O'Sullivan (actress) -- Dead. Heart attack. Died June 22, 1998. Born May 17, 1911. Starred in old Tarzan movies, mother of Mia Farrow. Maybe you were watching Larry King Dead.




BARBARA:
I read your mailbag. I already submitted my entry, but can I change it to add "Keith"?

THE GUYS:
Yeah, he kinda pissed us off a bit too. Oh well.




MIKE H.:
I couldn't help but notice that Riggo's Rangers has Gene Stapleton on his/her/their list. Did Edith Bunker suddenly get a sex change?

Also, you will have to exercise the alternate option for Mourgnolia Blossom Lee. Mike Houser of the rock group Widespread Panic passed away August 10, 2002.

THE GUYS:
Riggo's Rangers only have Gene listed once.
Actually, Morg. doesn't get the alternate in that case. Only if the death occurs after submittal. That means a 12 name list for Ms. Lee.




HUDSUCKER "CAP PISTOL" LEE, VIII:
Thanks for dun' gettin' back to me dern' quick like. Ma' is still around I's see. Ohs well. By the who', what the heck does Keith have his panties all ins a bunch fer?

THE GUYS:
He wears panties? Ewww.

HUDSUCKER "CAP PISTOL" LEE, VIII:
You'll need to ask Keith about that one...




CHRIS D.:
Would you please stop using Tad Szluc as examples in your lists? You're both much better than that!

THE GUYS:
We've grown to really like Tad posthumously.




DAVE Z.:
Do you guys have a PayPal account setup by any chance for sending in the donations?

THE GUYS:
We do not. However, so many folks have asked that we are going to look into that for the 2004.




CHEFDEVERGUE:
I was getting ready to mail out a donation, but then I saw your "big fat public tongue kiss" that went to the Stalker girls. I am wondering now if this is a wise course of action on my part.

If I can be assured that your tongues will stay where they belong, I'll have some greenbacks in the mail shortly. Sorry Keith, but rules is rules, and that's why you don't send your list in too early. I'd love to see this guy at the polling station on Election Day. "Wait wait, can I get that ballot back for a sec? I just need to make one or two changes, no biggie..."

Also, you guys are sick bastards, and your death watch is sick, and I hope you both die someday. Somebody needs to get that obligatory condemnation on the record for 2003, and it might as well be me.

THE GUYS:
You're starting 2003 true to form. We love that. However, we don't love it so much that we'll be putting our tounges any where near your swedish meatball making pie hole. Guaranteed! for the 2004.




CHRIS W.:
Just a quick note thanking the OBE for the timely and well-run website and contest. I hope to be a lifetime player (as long as that may be, anyway).

THE GUYS:
Thanks for your kind words. We appreciate them greatly.




STALKER:
Stalker's Sister wants more tongue.

THE GUYS:
Have her call Gene Simmons




STALKER:
Woo Hoo! I love the beginning of the year. How often do I get to be tied for 4th place? Remember though.... I was the first one Mentioned in the Star Ledger Article.... That can never be taken away from me....

THE GUYS:
Yeah, yeah. Star Ledger. Big time. Anyway, the chick who interviewed us was the first person mentioned.




STALKER'S SISTER:
Gee....you can always just have people send their donations to me......

THE GUYS:
Hey, they call it PayPal not "you're never gonna get paid, pal."

STALKER'S SISTER:
Damn! I thought it might be worth a try......




MORGUENOLIA BLOSSOM LEE.:
Well I see that my boy Hudsucker is a keepin' on pesterin me about bitin the big one. Well if I had bit the big one, I would have never had such as evil chile. That's like child, not the country.

I have been working so hard at keeping up on dead folks, yet that nice musician from widespread panic is already dirt nappin'

Damn. A good christian women should keep up with news, but out here in the swamps the news jes' doesn't travel quickly enough. I guess that's why we never have widespread panic in the south. Thays jes' not enough panic to be spread so wide, so fast. Now lissen heyah Hudsucker junner, I AM NOT PASSIN" ON JES' YET.

I got me some damn fine moonshine, that's better than sunshine, runnin through these fine suthern veins.

So don't be puttin me on yer list so soon sonny boy, I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. Of course had I realized how poorly you would turn out, I nevah would brought you in here to begin with, you little bastard.

THE GUYS:
The only reason there hasn't been widespread panic in the south is that they don't realize you're down there yet.




MARK R.:
Just a random suggestion for a 2004 rule change. How about if we rule out anyone who is famous for being old. No more oldest persons in the world, oldest man in America, oldest woman in Nebraska. However, I'm all for picking famous people that just happen to be old, Strom is on my list.

Please feel freeabsolutelytley disregard my input, you wouldn't be the first.

THE GUYS:
We struggle with this one. There are many "celebrities" using our definition that we would rather not see in play. However, it becomes very difficult to draw the line. Is Nancy Reagan a celebrity? How about Tipper Gore. Now, what about every senator's wife. Ya know, where do you draw the line. Is the oldest person in the world more or less famous than the PM of Congo. Who the heck knows. Well, we're rambling but trust us, it ain't an easy rule to determine or to enforce.

MARK R.:
Guys, Maybe we just concede that while Guiness book of world record holders are indeed famous, they do not qualifiy for the game. This way, the whole gobbledygook that you deal with otherwise is left not so much more not unclear.




DAVE Z.:
Oscar-winning cinematographer Hall dies.

THE GUYS:
Bottom line, the cinematographer just ain't the guy you remember from a picture.




ROBERT Y.:
I must disagree totally with Mark R.'s idea to ban Guinness "world's oldest people." A few points:

1. Since the Guinness Book sells something like 50 million copies, plus has a web site, your inability to figure out who the official "world's oldest person" is your problem. If you're so convinced that this person is going to die, why not add them to your list?

2. If everyone knows about it, it won't be a solo or double-whammy.

3. Jeanne Calment confounded death watchers for years. First mentioned in the 1989 Guinness, she didn't finally give up the ghost until 1997, leading to many frustrated bettors.

4. If the world's oldest person died the same year they became famous, no one would have time to put them on the list. Thus, only those who survive to gain some fame, not just ephermal recognition, would be picked.

5. What about other rules, such as no death-row inmates, no terminally-ill cancer patients unknown for anything else except a tobacco lawsuit, etc. These people are famous BECAUSE they are expected to die; the "world's oldest person" is famous BECAUSE they have defied death.

6. If everyone died at the same age, there would be no death pool. The world's oldest person is a symbol of what can go wrong when choosing just very old people. The world's oldest person is a symbol of the unpredictability of the finite human life span, which is what the death pool is really all about.

7. While there may be hundreds of wives of basketball coaches (Bobbi Olson, wife of Lute), there can be only one "world's oldest person." Even including oldest man, oldest Americans, etc, that's four people, much less than the hundreds of wives of coaches.

8. And, let's not forget that the oldest person in Nebraska died twice last year (Catherine Kral, 110; Mary Norris, 110). Neither death made the AP. The risk of choosing someone famous only because of their age, is that they may not make the AP. Usually only the first-place person in a major category (oldest man, oldest woman) makes the AP.

9. The "world's oldest person" provides a measuring stick, to keep the public from thinking Strom Thurmond has the title.

P.S. It seems most of the deaths in 2003 are Tad Tzulcs. Sid Gillman, ok, but who has heard or cared about Royce Applegate? Someone who's a nobody suddenly becomes famous at death merely because they played a backup role on television.

And how many hundreds of no-name actors are there, anyway?

So people, one person may not think a baseball player is a celebrity, and the next might not think the author of the Pope's biography is a celebrity, but if all we could choose is Ronald Reagan, Bob Hope, Strom Thurmond, Katherine Hepburn, etc., all the lists would be more or less the same, so what is the point of playing anyway?

THE GUYS:
We agree with much of what you're saying. We don't necessarily agree with all of it. However, for the sake of ease and fair game play we can't think of a better way to define famous. Other pools do. It becomes a chore. All that having been said, Number 6 is really great. The last sentence sums it all up! Thank you.




CHEFDEVERGUE:
Definitely not Stayin' Alive --- Bee Gee RIP.




ALEX:
How deep is your love?
I'd say about 6' 6"




JANE:
i have somehow not been receiving the emails from you cats anymore..
can you please re add me .

THE GUYS:
You can reapply to the coollist via the web page. Simply follow the link off the main page and follow the instrcutions.




ANNE:
Hi! I saw Mark Rs post on age restrictions in future games. I would like to submit a request to have a minimum age restriction. I jotted down a few of the names from the statistics that I didn't recognize. When I went back to research some of them I saw that Hunter Kelly is only a little boy. That felt really oogie. I say that a person should be 18 before they are fair game for death watchers.

THE GUYS:
We gotta agree. However, such restrcitions are tough, as we've previously explained. You'll note the few times a youth who is famous dies, we've tried to handle it appropriately (see Michelle Thompson in 1998).

Personally, we think putting the Kelly boy on a list is in pretty poor taste. However, there are many who think a Death Watch is in poor taste, so who the heck are we, huh?




S:
I just wanted to make sure that I'm on the list to get death updates. The "cool list" says I'm already signed up, but I haven't gotten any emails -- I figured I'd email you when I didn't get an update about the guy from the Bee Gees croaking.

THE GUYS:
Lots of AOL subscribers tell us that. We think AOL may be filtering our mail out as SPAM. You'll need to contact them to see how you can give "permission" to let our emails through. If your on the coollist, which you are, the emails get sent to you.




BILL R.:
QUIT BEGGIN' FOR MONEY YOU FRIGGIN' FREAKS... OR I'LL TURN YOU IN TO THE PROPER AUTHORITIES...

..WE'RE ALL GETTING JUST A LITTLE SICK OF YOUR SCHEMEY PANHANDLING AND WE KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE UP TO, OK?

IT'S BAD ENOUGH TO HAVE A WEBSITE SUCH AS YOURS EXIST IN THIS WORLD THAT CAN'T EVEN SUPPORT THEMSELVES A CRUST OF BREAD....HA!

I HOPE YOU GET YOUR JUST DESSERTS YOU FRIGGIN' FILTHY ANIMALS....

THE GUYS:
Look here Bill, you horse headed sea skank, we'll take it one-by-one, hopefully you can follow.

First off, you sent the damn email to the BOT. Next time try sending it to The Guys. We know this one is a really tough concept, but try.

Second, we ain't "beggin'", we're asking politely. Beggin' is what you do most Saturday nights.

Third...."Schemey Panhandling," Puh! Cooking is ladies work. We ain't handlin' no pans. And no pots either. Furthermore, we ain't wearing those aprons anymore! Well, maybe on special occasions.

Fourth, We happen to like both our web site and crusty bread you fart breathing monkey scrotum. To be clear, we can afford both too. We ask for the dough to GIVE IT AWAY Mr. Peabody.

Fourth, crap we said that already. Fifth....as far as what we're up to, about 170. But come on man, it's right after the holidays. A few more weeks with that Fonda workout and we'll be back down to 160. Patience man. Damn, that Jane's hot.

Sixth, we like dessert. Usually a nice piece of pie or a soft cookie. None of this "death by chocolate" crap or foo-foo bananas flambe.

Seventh. We aren't filthy, just a little grungy.

And finally, piss off ya short tempered, lard licking, pustule.

Thanks for writing us at the O.B.E.
Love and Kisses.




HUDSUCKER "CAP PISTOL" LEE, VIII:
Dearums Mark R:
Huh?




BEN:
Hey "Guys" I'm at work and I'm pretty bored and your site entertains, and inspires me to offer a few soon to be deceased celebrities. With recent military mettlings I'm calling Saddam Hussein for 2003 (he's had a good run) and probably Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones, that guy looks like he's been dead for years already. Let me know what you think, great job on the site, morbid hillarity at it's best!

THE GUYS:
Or how about Richards is actually working in the SAS and is picked by Tony Blair to be the one to kill Sadamm. Yeah, yeah. And that idiot drummer who looks like a bobble head, he'll get Osama Bin Laden. We're digging this.




CHEFDEVERGUE:
I don't know why, but I just find something amusing about this:
CARBONDALE, Ill. - A Methuselah of mice has died in a laboratory at Southern Illinois University, school officials said.

The dwarf mouse, otherwise known as GHR-KO 11C, died Jan. 8 after living the equivalent of 180 to 200 human years, said Andrzej Bartke, a physiologist who worked with the mouse.

At 4 years, 11 months and three weeks old, the lab mouse lived about twice as long as its species' average of 2 to 2 1/2 years, and more than eight months longer than its closest rival at SIU.

"This mouse was just amazing," Bartke said.

The rodent was genetically engineered not to respond to a growth hormone, a possible reason behind its longevity, Bartke said. He added that the mouse's low levels of insulin and glucose might also have had something to do with its long life.

Scientists placed the eight-gram mouse in a longevity study when they started to notice he was outliving his peers, Bartke said. GHR-KO 11C's remains have been sent to the University of Texas at San Antonio for further longevity research.

Southern Illinois spokesman K.C. Jaehnig said no overall data base exists to determine whether the mouse was the oldest ever.


That is one cranky old bastard of a mouse. He even got an AP obituary, just like Tad Szulc. With all the recent discussion about the "celebrity" status of really old people, it is high time we addressed the equally important issue of the celebrity status of really old mice.

THE GUYS:
M-I-C, See ya real soon! K-E-Y, Why, because I'm dead you dumb sh*ts.




ROSIE:
Hey guys, I was looking for deathwatch.com and found you instead. Will you be moving Whitney Houston up on your top ten list soon? Did you see that interview? I'm saying she'll be dead before we toast 2003 good bye.

THE GUYS:
Whitney is clearly a mess. However, messes can live for a very long time. Take a look at Robert Downey Jr., Daryl Strawberry, and plenty of others. Anyway, we're glad you found us. We like being found.




ROBERT A.:
It's the end of the line for caricaturist Al Hirschfeld, who died in his sleep today at age 99.




SHARON M.:
I don't know if you missed it or just didn't get to it yet but I have Nedra Volz on my list.

THE GUYS:
So you do! We'll be updating tonight.




STALKER:
Nell Carter, Given a permanent break. And WHO had Nell Carter on their list last year? F*ck me!

THE GUYS:
We haven't had an offer like that since our twenties! Woo Hoo!




MARK R.:
Regarding your obit for Nell Carter, she didn't win an emmy for "Gimme a Break", she won for the televison presentation of "Ain't Misbehavin". She was nominated twice for "Gimme a Break" but didn't take home the stature for it.

Ps: I want to ad myself to my list, as the notion that I knew off the top of my head the information presented above, I think I will be jumping off a bridge soon.

THE GUYS:
Aw, come on.......don't ya think we all have a couple Nell Carter posters in our houses too. Nothing to be embaraced about.




BABY CRUSHERS:
This "M.I. Rich? At Times." fella seems to have some knack for picking some totally unknown celebrity and having them die within the first few days of the year. He did it this year with Joe Foss(who the heck is Joe Foss?) and last year with that Oldest Guy in the world guy. Is this "M.I. Rich? At Times." fella a cousin of the Grim Reaper or something? Is he getting inside information?

How does he do it? I mean, no one can be that good at picking these pools. Where was this "M.I. Rich? At Times." fella on 01/01/03 anyway????? Maybe there's more to this than meets the eye?

THE GUYS:
Truth is, "M.I. Rich? At Times." does something much better than offing celebs, he does research. Keeps his ear to the headstone as it were. That's all.




STU:
Was Stacy's invitation to F*ck her open to all participants, or just the lucky 2 that run this thing.
Is Stacy Hot?
Do I Care?
Does she mind that I have a family and will get killed by my wife for even joking about this? Will Batman and Robin escape this perilous..... ah forget it.

THE GUYS:
We've never met Stacey in person but we find her to be a virtuous and thoughtful gal. You, on the other hand, we've met. Run Stacey, Run.!!!!!!!




CASANDRA:
What happened to MERLIN Santana of the Steve Harvey Show?

Is he not "Big Enough" to be included?

THE GUYS:
No, he shoulda been posted. We missed him. (man, there's the potential for a really bad one there).




MARK R.:
Guys, According to the last issue of "USA Today Sports Weekly", former Bengals linebacker Eddie Johnson passed away. I didn't see his name on the lists but he is listed in the statistics.




LEIGH:
You should add actress Lana Clarkson, who was murdered on 2/3/03 allegedly by music producer Phil Spector.

THE GUYS:
Here are Lana's credits. All of them.

1. March (2001) .... Dr. Ellen Taylor
2. Love in Paris (1997) .... Woman at Fashion Show
3. Vice Girls (1996) .... Jan Cooper
4. Barbarian Queen II: The Empress Strikes Back (1992) .... Princess Athalia
5. Haunting of Morella, The (1990) .... Coel
6. Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II (1988) .... Amathea
7. Amazon Women on the Moon (1987) .... Alpha Beta (segment "Amazon Women on the Moon")
8. Barbarian Queen (1985) .... Amethea
9. Blind Date (1984) .... Rachel
10. Deathstalker (1984) .... Kaira
11. Scarface (1983) .... Woman at Babylon Club
12. Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982) .... Mrs. Vargas

12 movies in which she either played a very small role OR in which she played a big role in a very small (read bad) movie. Getting shot by Phil Spector does not a celebrity make.




CHEFDEVERGUE:
Ron Ziegler --- maybe he's Deep Throat, definitely he's Deep Sixed.

THE GUYS:
Perhaps we'll see a "third rate grave robbery."




LULU:
I'm gonna go out on a limb & Freak everybody out & Say Colin Farrell.

THE GUYS:
We're gonna go out on a limb here and freak everybody out too........In 1969 the moon landing was conducted on a sound stage in Philadelphia making the entire space program a fraud. Furthermore, The cures for most major diseases have, in fact, been known for years but are being suppressed by a "research industry" who draw there living off of further research. Lastly, a small group of very wealthy people throughout the world truly run all national and international affairs and are working toward a world order in which they are the kings and we are all the subjugated peasants.

So please with your in incessant Colin Farrell.....

LULU:
Well that's my general feeling, I was right about Mayor Harold Washington of Chicago in 1987; I predicted in February of that year he would succumb in 1987, He died in November of that year. Someone was making a real strange preminitory analysis in March of that year, That it would happen in November & Did!!!!!!!!. The feelings were trance-like & Could actually feel & see it happening. The feeling is to say the least, WEIRD. I'll bet some of the people on the bus were freaking out when that prediction came true. As the saying goes "Sh** Happens", Somehow I do see some danger where he made a faux pas in that one realm. God forbid, This does happen, What will you do??????, Eat the computer discs?????????????.

Also I'll stop posting, But in closing. Something weird occured when I somehow forecasted Pierce Brosnan & Liam Neeson's potential demises, They incidentially came very close, A short time later. And Jason Priestley, Which almost happened. Yet, If this does occur or come close in reality, I may be just a little remorse, But won't kiss any pinky rings, And I won't embellish should the ultimate happen to this actor. I would be stunned to say the least, As many people would. But it would be a trip or freak out, If this prediction came true.

THE GUYS:
Clearly, a trip. A serious, don't take the brown acid, trip.

LULU:
I don't. It's just an experience that cannot even be explained by the late theorists Einstein, etc.




CHEFDEVERGUE:
I see that Sis Daley has finally used it all up. Nobody had her picked for this your, but I am sure I saw her on somebody's list last year. It wasn't the Stalker by any chance, was it? It would be very nice if she gave another of those generous offers...

THE GUYS:
It was not. It was "Don B." And that Stalker would chew you up and spit you out. She's a tough cookie.




SAYURI:
Wait a sec...doesn't Dolly qualify for a celebrity? I mean, the scientist guys were making such a big deal about her.

THE GUYS:
Just another reason not to trust the scientists.

SAYURI:
Ahh. Very wise observation, old grasshoppers. I humbly grovel before your knees.




MARVIN:
I'm sure those Johnny Paycheck slugged or shot deserved it.

THE GUYS:
We hope you're not a juror anytime soon.

MARVIN:
My feeling as a juror is this: If you are on trial for something, and by some stroke of defense counsel wizardry are found innocent, or, perhaps in actuality you are not guilty of that crime, you probably should have gone to trial for something else you did and got away with previous to getting caught and presumed guilty for the act you are on trial for now.

Brutal. Isn't it?

The persons Johnny hit and shot probably told him to "Take his talent and shove it." 1964 till now was an awful long time to be immortalized for that song.




STACEY:
I got a chuckle from the "Official Johnny Paycheck website"

THE GUYS:
Really, we just got a Sweet Tart.




HUDSUCKER "CAP PISTOL" LEE, VIII:
Well I'll be a frozen turd on the middle of a golf course in the sun drenched heat of Jooly! Can y'all believe the dang snow we got in the Northeast? Ma' dun' near was gunna' move up here, but the snow kept her wrinkled scrawny butt down South. Praise be tar'nations!

One question fer y'all. If 'uns some feller drops dead do to the winter freeze out, and then thaws out a couple a days later and lives, does it count as a death, or not? Lets me know...

Just plannin' for Ma'. Maybe she could comes visit and I could tro her butt outside!

THE GUYS:
Hey "Cap," you're right. You are frozen turd on the middle of a golf course in the sun drenched heat of Jooly.




MARVIN M.:
Fred Rogers I used to watch him growing up. Sometimes he came in pretty fast through the front door, like someone was chasing him.




SIX FEET UNDER:
Oooh but this humble newbie is awestruck by the wisdom of "M.I.Rich? At Times." Last year I watched from the sidelines; this year I am not worthy enough to be in the same race. I've calculated that M.I. Rich has hit 23% of his list in only 14% of the year. Now I know where Conspiracy Theories begin....

THE GUYS:
M.I. Rich? At Times has something much better than a conspiracy. He takes the Death Watch seriously. He listens all year to the news, he reads the tabloids, he does his research. That's what wins games. Also, he might have a little thing going with Mephistopheles.




TOM R.:
Bass player for Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

THE GUYS:
The only guy who's less of celebrity is the drummer.

TOM R.:
As I suspected.




CHEFDEVERGUE:
Bass player for Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

THE GUYS:
Next time send something personal. It'll likely be funny.




CHRIS D.:
Nobody's dying. What gives?

THE GUYS:
That must explain this crappy economy, it's the mortuaries.




PHOEBE:
Lynne Thigpen wasn't the detective, she was the CHIEF. Jeez. Sometimes I wonder if you guys know anything at all. I notice a nasty PBS trend developing here. First Mister Rogers, now the Chief. Big Bird better watch his ass.

THE GUYS:
You actually wonder that? We'd have figured you'd realized that a long time ago. We did.




JOHN M.:
Has the O.B.E thought of sponsoring the portion of the Academy Awards where they show previous winners on stage...between my dvr and the pause and rewind button... I pretty much formulated my 2004 list

THE GUYS:
That was our favorite part too. Karl Mauldin, he no look so good.




CHEFDEVERGUE:
Well-known character actor Michael Jeter has recently died. While he is recognizable for a great number of roles, most children (and parents of young children) know him best for his work on Sesame Street.

Another PBS kids show player bites the dust. This PBS theme is starting to assume a sinister tone and creep me out. Is there some vast anti-PBS conspiracy at work. Of course, if it results in the TeleTubbies snuffing it, I will not complain, but it is starting to get a little weird.

THE GUYS:
We're down with the whole weird PBS thing. Crap, who the hell keeps commissioning those Ken Burns documentaries too, huh? But we've gotta take a bit of exception with the phrase "well-known character actor." When you're know as 'The OTHER Mr. Noodle" you ain't that well known.




BRAIN G.:
Just the other day, I heard a brief (and brief at that) statement about the actor Michael Jeter passing away. But have not seen it listed anywhere else. Jeter starred in the Green Mile and other movies mostly as minor characters but he also was a regular on Burt Reynolds' show The Evening Shade. Have you heard anything confirming this?

THE GUYS:
He is dead.




JOHN M:
Hey Guys....I take my death very seriously...and fair's fair check out AIKIO... he has Major Ronald Ferguson...Fergie's dad....he kicked off a week or two ago




MARK R.:
Not to question your selective death postings, but Michael Jeter was at least 20 times more famous than Royce Applegate. Not to mention there were at least 2 or 3 Green Mile wisecracks that you guys could have made.

THE GUYS:
We don't normally change our minds on this kinda stuff. However, your Royce Applegate argument is pretty compelling. We'll make this right shortly.




MARK R.:
Not to question your selective death postings, but Michael Jeter was at least 20 times more famous than Royce Applegate. Not to mention there were at least 2 or 3 Green Mile wisecracks that you guys could have made.

THE GUYS:
We don't normally change our minds on this kinda stuff. However, your Royce Applegate argument is pretty compelling. We'll make this right shortly.




DAVID Z.:
I know how so many DeathWatchers just love to pick these total NON-celebrity oldest people in the world types (how many ARE there anyway??). Yet another "World's Oldest" kicked the bucket at 119 and made the AP wire

THE GUYS:
Actually, there is only one "oldest person in the world" type. Think about it.




CHEFDEVERGUE:
I am going golfing tomorrow at The Creek at Qualchan. Problem is, I always seem to end up in the sand traps, and then I blade the damn ball and it goes screaming across the green, and I am totally screwed. You guys seem to be full of knowledge, or something, and I thought you might have some helpful advice, besides advising me to give up golf altogether. Also, has anybody died recently?

THE GUYS:
Ok... here it is... and trust us, it works. In the 1930's, Russian acting master, Richard Boleslavski wrote a book on acting and recounts the time he had been playing billiards. He was playing with an opponent that was far better than he. After getting his ass whooped in two consecutive games, he thought to himself in an acting master frame of mind. If I take on the persona of a true billiards master, he thought, and acted like a true billiards master, perhaps I will play like a true billiards master. To psychologists this is known as the Pygmalion effect or the self fulfilling prophecy. So our advice is to get yourself some fancy new titanium clubs, an American Express Card commercial gig, and some black-face and 'become' Tiger Woods. You will undoubtedly intimidate your opponent and make many of the folks at The Creek at Qualchan damn uncomfortable - it's all in your positive frame of mind.

As for anyone dying recently... well... here's a run down:

Terry Thaddeus, a Malaysian rock guitarist once acclaimed by the British music press as the "Jimi Hendrix of the East," died Monday after a four-month battle with intestinal

The Associated Press is reporting the death yesterday (Monday,May 12,2003) of Prince Sadruddin Aga Khan, who turned 70 in January. cancer. He was 55.

Minnie B. Snow, 89, widow of country singer Hank Snow, died of pneumonia Sunday night at Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville.

Noel Redding, bass player in the band of legendary rock guitarist Jimi Hendrix, has died, his manager said.

Also, Matt's mom is gravly ill and Steve's mom is in the hospital.




CHEFDEVERGUE:
Hey, Dave DeBusschere is now Dave DePushinupDaisies.

THE GUYS:
We think it woulda been better if it read, "Dave DeBusschere is now daisy pusher." Leave the jokes to us Chef.




CHEFDEVERGUE:
Dame Wendy Hiller, Oscar-winning star of stage and screen...well, I could try making some smart-aleck comment, but I have been strongly cautioned against it....suffice it to say, she is dead.

You have not yet mentioned her passing. I realize that she's no Royce Applegate, and that J-Lo's performance in "Maid in Manhattan" was no doubt much more compelling than Hiller's Eliza Doolittle in "Pygmalion," but I'm sure a few people might have heard of her.

THE GUYS:
Pig wha? Yeah, that Maid in Manhattan, what a picture.




ALEX:
Noel Redding died on Sunday May 11, Otherwise known as "the guy other than the drummer for the Jimi Hendrix experience" he was 57 years old. His manager made it a point to emphasize he was "not bitter" at the time of his death.

THE GUYS:
It's so nice to see that he and Jimmy are able to share another experience.




ALEX:
Noel Redding died on Sunday May 11, Otherwise known as "the guy other than the drummer for the Jimi Hendrix experience" he was 57 years old. His manager made it a point to emphasize he was "not bitter" at the time of his death.

THE GUYS:
It's so nice to see that he and Jimmy are able to share another experience.




THE BABY CRUSHERS:
I have been in the O.B.E. for two years and I enjoy it quite a bit. It is a real nice diversion from all the crap that goes on around me.

But I must voice a protest. Momir Talic?????? I don't see how Momir Talic is a celebrity. There are probably only Three people in the world that know who Momir Talic is. His Sister, his hairdresser and M.I. RICH AT TIMES!!!!

So why not do me, and all the other O.B.E. participants, a favor and rescind the celibrity status of Momir Talic.

THE GUYS:
We struggle with this. We won't rescind becuase Momir is a celebrity under the rules. We've given a good deal of thought as to how to weed out the obscure. It's tougher than you think. We'll get there someday, but for today MI Rich and Vicious Pirhana will bask in the cool, pale glow of Momir's demise.

Also, thanks for the nice words about the Death Watch. Emails like that renew our focus and drive.




ROBIN S.:
I had tried to sign up on the list to get your email updates, but the site says I am already a member. Unfortunately, I am not getting your emails. Can you help?

THE GUYS:
AOL doesn't like us. Several folks have told us that AOL filters out our emails. There may be a way to tell your browser and/or AOL dial-up to stop this nonsense but we're not certain what that way is. Try yelling at the screen. It likely won't work, but it always makes us feel better.




MARK R.:
I heard on spike TV last night that Fred Blassie had died. I guess God needed someone to swing a steel chair and have breakfast with Andy Kaufmann.

THE GUYS:
1) You shouldn't be watching Spike TV. Its pathetic.
2) Trust us, God's having breakfast with Kaufman.

MARK R.:
Did I say I was watching Spike TV? I meant that my friend was watching Spike TV, and he told me about it. Yeah, that's it.

THE GUYS:
Man, the only thing worse than a pathetic SOD watching Spike TV is a pathetic SOD denying it. Oh, wait, we see Spike Lee has a suit against Spike TV. Really! That's more pathetic. Hope that makes you feel better.




MARVIN M.:
I saw him from across the street we lived at, in NYC, in the early 70's. He was a sharp dresser too. But being young at the time, we were scared to approach him. He called us pencil neck geeks when we called his name, and we ran like little goya beans.

THE GUYS:
We especially like the goya bean part.




CHRIS D.:
Talic, Szulc. Tomato, tomatoe. None of them are more of a celebrity then a hill of beans.

THE GUYS:
Hey, if that was some kind of Mexican slight we're appalled. You jerk! Holy Heck! Look, beans are great. We love beans. We love sweating, underpaid, migrant laborers too. We love goat milk. Heck, we're progressives. We're PC. Don't give us your bean crap. And another thing, do you hate Poles? What's up with that. Oh, right, he was a Serb. You hate them? Man you're full of hate. Hmmm, was he a Croat? Maybe he was French? Whatever, you're still just a hair shy of the KKK or the SS. Hate mongerer.

Maybe we'll run for office in 2006.

CHRIS D.
With that response, you sounded a little bit like me. That's really frightening. But, I'd vote for you guys either way.


CHEFDEVERGUE:
Spectacular Bid, widely considered to be the best horse never to win the Triple Crown, is on his way to the glue factory now. The horse apparently died of a heart attack. Perhaps someone told him what a gelding was. On his way to the factory, he might meet Donald Regan, the now deceased Treasury secretary best known for having a name that rhymes really nicely with his former boss.

THE GUYS:
Spectacular Bit....the dust.




PHOEBE:
It's almost summer time. It's time for sunny warm weather, which means trips to the beach. Gosh, trips to the beach can be so much fun, and they can make a body so happy. You can really forget about your troubles when you go to the beach.

But trips to the beach can be fraught with danger and peril. You know what I am talking about: beach balls. You really need to be careful of those beach balls. A while back you got a beach ball stuck in your trousers, and boy, did that cause some trouble! Beach balls and trousers just aren't a good combination.

I care about your general well-being, so I am giving you the heads up. I suppose you could call it a beach ball intervention of sorts. I hope you can avoid any unfortunate beach ball incidents this summer. Enjoy the beach!

THE GUYS:
Seldom have we had a lady talk at such length about our balls. How lovely.




JOHN M.:
Do you think he's finally reunited with Lee Remick and his son Damien Thorne?

THE GUYS:
Who, Donald Regan?

JOHN M.
No, that would be Nancy Reagan and the tarot card reader.




STACEY THE STALKER:
Hume Cronyn, I've finally got one this year!

THE GUYS:
Who, Donald Regan?

JOHN M.
Good thing you "got" him before he croaked, huh? Was he any good?




NEWY:
Check it out.

THE GUYS:
Well, show it to us first.




MARVIN M.:
A HIT for me!!!! Roll-over momentum at it's gravest!!! YEAH BABY!!!

THE GUYS:
Man, that's sick. Being so happy about a guy dying. What the hell is wrong with you? Oh crap, forgot we ran this thing for a second. Sorry.




CHRIS D.:
Roger Nielsen. Great guy. Helped many a hockey team. Fired by Bobby Clarke, who is a giant ass. No reason to email other than to say farewell Roger, you left the world a far better place. You fought a valiant fight, too bad Bobby couldn't see that!

THE GUYS:
Yeah, but Bobby made those swell candy bars.




MISS TARA:
Add Otis Williams of "The Temptations" to your list. I bet on him. He is the only surviving member of the originals left.

THE GUYS:
Have you been drinking again Tara?

MISS TARA:
No. He needs to be put on the list

THE GUYS
Huh?




ANNIE:
Guys, Looks like you might have missed this one:

http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/news?slug=heavengainsagre&prov=cnnsi&type=lgns

Don't worry though, he's not going anywhere. BTW, I just thought of a great angle to moralize my participation in this game. I am far more strongly rooting for people on other lists NOT to die than people on my list to die. I was genuinly upset that Gregory Peck passed on, as 9 others had him listed. the above mentioned Roger Neilson's death was very dissapointing to me despite the fact that I had never heard of him until then. I'm not rooting for death, I am rooting for life!!

Now I feel much better.

PS: Have you heard anything about Jack Klugman's health? He looks so brittle that he has to kick it soon. DIE JACK DIE!!!!

THE GUYS:
First off, let us at the O.B.E. just tell you that we never really liked either your comic strip or that lousy musical of yours; and we have severe reservations about 'Daddy' Warbucks... I mean he makes you call him daddy and all... with that being said, we believe that your slant of participation in regard to our little game is a healthy one; unrealistic and rose colored as it may be. But, to each his/her own. As for Roger Neilson, being that he was on 6 lists we will be posting him soon. As for Jacko (Klugman, not Wacko), he visited my classes last year at the University of Miami when he was in town performing in The Price. I even went to Hollywood Race Track with him.. Judging from that visit, he still has a few more years in him, unless he has suffered something since then. He is a feisty old codger; full of piss and vinegar - well, vinegar anyway. Hope this helps you out. Good luck with a revival. Ever think of Sarah Michelle Gellar for the part of Miss Hannigan? We think that would be hot.

ANNIE:
Be careful. I got my gun!

THE GUYS:
Anything you can do I can do better...

ANNIE:
Well, It's a hard knock life!




MEDIA QUEEN:
Who the f*ck are all of these bozos???????

THE GUYS:
Look here Media Queen, don't get your panties in a tangle (again). Lester Maddox is a pretty well known name in the circles some of our players run in. Maybe you've never read any of Ms. Lee's emails.




CHEFDEVERGUE:
It's been a mighty rough week for segregationists. It just breaks my heart, it really really does. Richard Butler would make a lovely Trifecta.

THE GUYS:
You ever take a look around in NYC? Every week is a mighty bad week for segregationists.




THE BABY CRUSHERS:
HA!!!! "Mi RICH? At Times" didn't have Strom Thurmond. He is slipping. The Baby Crushers are comming! Watch out "Mi Rich? At Times".

THE GUYS:
"The Baby Crushers are Coming." Didn't Pol Pot say that?




MIKE H.:
I realize I am helping out another palyer here but fair is fair. One Foot In The Grave has William Sundeman on the list and while I am unsure of an AP obit, I did find one in the philadelphia Inquirer.
http://www.philly.com/mld/inquirer/news/obituaries/5369916.htm

THE GUYS:
Thanks. However, no AP obit was published.




PLOT, PLOT, FIZZ, FIZZ:
Far be it for me to complain, but you've gotten my score wrong. I've been credited for 3 deaths and 9 points but I actually have 3 deaths and 12 points. Nedra Voltz-4, Fred Blassie-5, and Kate Hepburn-3. Thank you very much for a great disturbingly good time!

THE GUYS:
You're right. Sorry about that. It's fixed.




CHEFDEVERGUE:
Today, I have had three different people claim that they heard that Roger Moore just died. I haven't seen any AP listings on him. I suppose it could have been his career to which they were referring, but that has been dead & buried for years now, and is not recent news. Have you seen anything relating to his demise?

THE GUYS:
Yeah, some big guy with really bad braces was running away from his house. Whadda ya make of that?




STEVE W.:
with all the new changes, will you make the death alerts work with America Online? i've been through this with you and the mailing people several times. the alerts will not come to any of my AOL screen names.it used to work a couple years ago. i know i'm currently subscribed at least at XXXXX@aol.com but never receive alerts. i would like alerts at XXXXX@aol.com.

i have deleted my subscriptions and then signed up again. it does not work.

however it does work when sent to my yahoo mail. the problem is, i don't go to yahoo that often. i need to know who is croaking on a daily basis when i read my AOL e-mail.

can you please make it work?

THE GUYS:
We can't make it work because it's not us. It's those weenies at AOL. They hate us.......Bastards




MIKE H.:
I hate to bug you guys again but, you failed to give Fresh Flesh and Kick The Bouquet their points for picking Buddy Hackett.

THE GUYS:
We gotta stop drinking so much.




STALKER'S SISTER:
ACKKKKK!!!!!! More notice next time you do something like move! Scared me when I logged on and it didn't open up to what I expected to see!!

THE GUYS:
Well, we did send out an email......Jeesh.

STALKER'S SISTER:
Well, someone doesn't like me, cause I never got it. ::pout pout::

THE GUYS:
Actually, several someones don't like you. We're just keeping it under wraps.

STALKER'S SISTER:
Thank you. I appreciate you guys trying to look out for my mental well-being.

THE GUYS:
That's what we're here for.




ANDREW S.:
What happened to "Gone But Not Forgotten?"

THE GUYS:
It appears that the header bars don't show up with the redirect service. Very observant. If you really miss them use this URL
http://mysite.verizon.net/vze6y3jf instead of http://www.flymetothetomb.com. They both put you in the same place, however the "flymetothetomb" is a redirect address.




STIFFY:
Buddy Ebsen will now be turning into crude, instead of shooting at it....

THE GUYS:
Actually, He'll be turning into Barnaby Bones.




BILL R.:
Weird that the two "Buddys" - Hackett and Ebsen - both pass away at almost the same time...

Who's next? Clinton's Dog???

THE GUYS:
That or:

1. Buddy Adler
2. Buddy Alan
3. Buddy Anderson
4. Buddy Arett
5. Buddy Arnold (II)
6. Buddy Baer
7. Buddy Baker (I)
8. Buddy Baker (II)
9. Buddy Baker (III)
10. Buddy Balou
11. Buddy Bange
12. Buddy Barnett
13. Buddy Barton
14. Gary 'Buddy' Boe
15. Buddy Bolden
16. Buddy Boles
17. Buddy Bolton
18. Buddy Bower
19. Buddy Bowles
20. Buddy Bowser
21. Buddy Boyd
22. Buddy Boylan
23. Buddy Bruce Boyles
24. Buddy Bradley
25. Buddy Bregman
26. Buddy Brennan
27. Buddy Brown
28. Kenneth Brown (I) (buddy)
29. Kenneth Brown (I) (buddy)
30. Buddy Bryant
31. Sonny Buddy Jr.
32. Butch and Buddy
33. Cousin Buddy
34. Buddy
35. Buddy Bueler
36. Clark 'Buddy' Burroughs
37. Buddy Butler
38. William 'Buddy' Byrd
39. Buddy Caponi
40. Buddy Carr (II)
41. Buddy Castillo
42. Buddy Catlett
43. Buddy Causey Jr.
44. Buddy Cianci
45. Buddy Clark (I)
46. Buddy Clark (II)
47. Buddy Clark (III)
48. Buddy Cole
49. Buddy Colette
50. Buddy Collette
51. Buddy Cox
52. Buddy Crabtree
53. Buddy Daniels
54. Buddy Davis
55. Buddy De Franco
56. Buddy Deane
57. Billy Dee (buddy love)
58. Buddy Dee
59. Buddy the Dog (I)
60. Buddy the Dog (II)
61. Buddy the Dog (III)
62. Buddy Dolan
63. Bud Dooley (buddy dooley)
64. Buddy Douglas
65. Buddy Doyle
66. Buddy Durrant
67. Buddy Ebsen
68. Buddy Edmondson
69. Buddy Edwards
70. Buddy Elias
71. Buddy Farmer
72. Buddy Ferens
73. Buddy Fisher
74. Buddy Fitzpatrick
75. Buddy Foster
76. Buddy Daniel Friedman
77. Buddy Friedman
78. Buddy Gant
79. Buddy Garion
80. Buddy Gilbert
81. Buddy Gilmore
82. Buddy Gilyard
83. Buddy Giovinazzo
84. Buddy Gorman
85. Buddy Greco
86. Buddy Guy
87. Buddy Hackett
88. Buddy Harris
89. Buddy Hart
90. Buddy Hatton
91. Buddy Heaton
92. Martin Herzberg (buddy martin in us prints)
93. Buddy Holly
94. Buddy Joe Hooker
95. Buddy Howard (I)
96. Buddy Howard (II)
97. Buddy Hunter (I)
98. Buddy Hunter (III)
99. Buddy Jarvis
100. Buddy Jewell
101. Buddy Jones (I)
102. James 'Buddy' Kelly
103. Buddy Killen
104. Buddy Kling
105. Buddy Knox
106. Buddy Landel
107. Buddy Lanuza
108. Buddy Lee Parker
109. Billy Lenhart (butch and buddy)
110. Buddy Lester
111. Buddy Lewis (I)
112. Buddy Lewis (II)
113. Roland Lewis (roland buddy lewis)
114. Buddy Love
115. Buddy MacDonald
116. Buddy MacKinder
117. Buddy Martin
118. Buddy Mason
119. Buddy McDowell
120. Buddy McQuoid
121. Buddy McRaney
122. Buddy Messinger
123. Buddy Micucci
124. Buddy Miles
125. Buddy Mize
126. Buddy Mondlock
127. Buddy Moore
128. Buddy Morrow
129. L. John Myers (buddy myers)
130. Buddy Norton
131. Buddy Ochoa
132. Buddy Pages' Orchestra
133. Buddy Owen
134. Buddy Page
135. Buddy Pantsari
136. Buddy Parker
137. Buddy Pepper
138. Buddy Petrie
139. Buddy Phillips
140. Charles A. Post (charles buddy post)
141. Charles A. Post (charles buddy post)
142. Buddy Powell
143. Buddy Preston
144. Buddy Prior
145. Buddy Pulugi
146. Buddy Quaid (II)
147. Buddy Quaid
148. Buddy Raye
149. Buddy Raynor
150. Buddy Red Bow
151. Chief Buddy Redbow
152. Buddy Reyes
153. Buddy Reynolds (II)
154. Buddy Rich
155. Buddy Roberts
156. Charles 'Buddy' Rogers
157. Buddy Roosevelt
158. Bud Ross (buddy ross)
159. Buddy Schwab
160. Robert 'Buddy' Shaw
161. Buddy Silberman
162. Buddy Smith (I)
163. Buddy Smith (II)
164. Buddy Sosthand
165. Buddy Spafford
166. Buddy Spicher
167. Buddy St. Amant
168. Buddy Stein
169. Buddy Stoccardo
170. Buddy Sullivan
171. Buddy Swan
172. Buddy Tate
173. Buddy Saba Taweel
174. Buddy Thaw
175. Buddy Thompson
176. William Thourlby (buddy thorpe)
177. Buddy Thurman
178. Buddy Totten (I)
179. Buddy Twiss
180. George Tyne (buddy yarus)
181. Buddy Tyson
182. Buddy Uzzaman
183. Buddy Van Horn
184. Bud Vest (buddy vest)
185. Buddy Vigil
186. Ludwick Villani (buddy villani)
187. Buddy Wattles
188. Buddy Weed
189. Buddy Wilkerson
190. Buddy Williams
191. Buddy Wilson
192. Buddy Winston
193. Buddy Wood
194. Buddy Woodward
195. Buddy Wright
196. Buddy Yang


BILL R.:
Thanks Buddy!




KEVIN:
i was wondering if there's a problem on your server? i use the *anyone die recently* list as the source for our little office pool....i was trying to get the updates for the dearly departed barry white and buddy hackett....and i got a nasty little error telling me i don't have access to the server....

just wondering....

THE GUYS:
Well... if you are on our mailing list you should have gotten an email letting you know that our web address has changed to www.flymetothetomb.com . Kev, if you are not on our mailing list, I strongly suggest that you join. You won't get spammed with crap that tells you we can enlarge your penis (which we can by the way), we won't spam you with Teens, teens, teen (although god we love 'em), and we won't spam you with please to help remove funds from our ex-presidente's bank account as we flee to a taxless country. We will however give you the latest updates on the great demises of the year.

KEVIN:
Thanks for the update....and i shall join the list post haste!!!! and if you do happen to send the ten stuff my way, well, that's a small price to pay, isn't it? ;)

THE GUYS:
Kevin, we really hope you mean the 'teen' stuff, not the 'TEN' stuff. We are saving the Ten stuff for when Bo Derek gets here... hubba hubba....

KEVIN:
well whaddaya know? the boyz above seemed to have determined that anything on the coollist.com site is non-work related (who knew?) and have blocked it from little ol' moi....
i shall have to try it from home....

THE GUYS:
Bastards....

KEVIN:
that's what i'm sayin!!!




STACEY THE STALKER:
Remember what I said when Nell Carter died? Well, ditto on Buddy Ebsen....

THE GUYS:
Remember how we replied? Well, we don't!

STACEY THE STALKER:
eh, I remember how you replied... It's in the mailbag....

THE GUYS:
Mailbag? We don't read that crap.




STIFFY:
How can "Die Barney, Die!" and "Sharon M." be tied for 16th with 10 points while "Aikio" and "Merimaa" are tied for 18th with 11 points? Is this the new math I keep hearing about?

THE GUYS:
.aixelsid s'tI




MARK R.:
Buddy Hackett.. Buddy Ebsen.... Buddy Cianci and Clinton's pooch better start watching their asses!

THE GUYS:
As opposed to Bill watching their asses?

MARK R.:
Ba-dum-bump. I toss them up and you hit them out of the park.




BILL R.:
In the United States, one person dies about every 13 seconds. That’s about 6,646 per day, 202,154 per month, and 2,425,846 per year.

IS there a significance of "name similarities"?

Is the fact that Peck and Stack's names both ended in “K” and two deaths were named Buddy and closely passed away together pure coincidence?

Look at their real names: Robert Stack - Charles Langford Modini Stack, Gregory Peck - Eldred Gregory Peck, Buddy Hackett - Leonard Hacker, and Buddy Ebsen - Christian Rudolph Ebsen.

Hey! All of them have the letters “C,” “R,” “L,” “E,” “O,” and “D” in their real names. How many of the other 6,600+ people who died on the same day as each of these men had a name that ended in “K,” or were nicknamed “Buddy?” How many of the other 202,154 people who died during the same month (roughly) had a name that ended in “K,” or were nicknamed “Buddy???

But wait! Look at the letters the names shared…C R L E O D. If you move them around a bit, the letters spell “COLDER.” And that’s what they are now. Ohoooooooooo.

There's no proof that Nostradamus predicted these deaths however..

THE GUYS:
Man, you must be bored.

BILL R.:
No, just copied this from a friend!!

THE GUYS:
Just like all those exams in high school, eh?




LISBETH:
I tried to access the webpage to sign up for your nifty mailing list but cannot access due to "configuration problems" hhhmmm.............oi vay.........computer jargon really upsets this blonde brain!!! Please let me know how I can go about becoming one of the cool people......... I so need a life!!!!

THE GUYS:
Well, the mail bot doesn't much care for AOL users. As for you becoming one of "those cool people." Just forget it. Everybody really hates them anyway.




SAIDHEAD:
Am I to understand that I can't compile a list now, even if it's just for fun?

THE GUYS:
You can do anything you want for fun. Might we suggest something a little more fulfilling though.

SAIDHEAD:
More fulfilling than predicting imminent deaths? I can't think of anything.

THE GUYS:
That should disturb you.




M.I. RICH:
Like so many others, I have Carol Shields on my O.B.E. list.

THE GUYS:
But like so few others, you move back into first.




MARVIN:
Hello!!!!

I can not fathom that at 3:49 pm on this date, 7.17.03, your obit is on Carol (WHO) Stone.

Celia Cruz, the Queen of Salsa, (Cuba) has joined the Latin King, (Puerto Rico), Tito Puente.

Along with Barry White, Heaven is definitely a Party Palace right now. Considering I verbalized a message to you to say something nice, I was thrown back to see no mention as of yet. I have high hopes you will follow through.

There will be ceremonies throughout the Hispanic Community, and the world will acknowledge the loss. Remember, we (Hispanics), are the largest minority in the USA. We encompass a good percentage of this planet, and we embrace our ethnic immortal. Cuba, her birthplace, New Jersey, her home, Florida, her probable final resting, will immortalize her degrees above the norm.

In fact, a tidbit. While stationed overseas in the South Pacific in the early 80's, and as a chairperson of the Hispanic Heritage Committee, I hosted a three hour radio talk show dedicated to her and her music. As a fellow Hispanic, (Puerto Rican), I state that she will be missed. As of now, Marc Anthony has assumed the position vacated by Tito, Queen is yet to be established.

I was in a zone this evening...

THE GUYS:
Look, without a nice cold beer and a crunchy chip or two, nobody really cares for salsa anyway.

MARVIN:
Duh, Shields not Stone. I'm stoned. White wine does it all the time. Still I say, WHO???




JODY G.:
Look at that, exercise *CAN* kill you.

THE GUYS:
Good thing we stopped then? Uh, is drinking an exercise?




JODY G.
I couldn't even come up with a smart ass comment if I wanted to.....Bob, you'll be missed.

THE GUYS:
Hey, that's what we're here for.

JODY G.:
And it was still relatively tasteful, thank you.....

Stalker was leaning towards "Dun, Dun, Dun, and another one bites the dust..."

THE GUYS:
At least you said relatively.




CHEFDEVERGUE:
I see that Bob Hope has a new movie just coming out --- "The Road to Forest Lawn."

THE GUYS:
Chortle.




CHRIS M.:
You guys are starting to make me feel like I'm getting sea sick.Or at least thinking something is wrong with my computer, as you keep reprinting some of your messages or emails, right after each other. Another point to make would be that it would be easier to read your messages, if you put the latest at the top, instead of making us read to the bottom. Just to let you know that Bob Hope died yesterday, and they identified the remains of Baylor's Denehy(sp)

THE GUYS:
We are not repeating our emails. Obviously your server, computer, or sign up for our email list is, as we say in layman's terms, whacked.

If your refering to the mail bag, which reads from the oldest to the newest, to maintain a chronology, try the "thingy" button. That's why it's there. The remaiing pages read from newest to oldest. Most people like to follow the threads with the mail bag.




PARTY GIRL:
www.flymetothetomb.com just sits there, and sits, and sits, and sits.. and just when one is about to join the illustrious on your expired lists....bang - timeout.

So, Dingleberry's yourselves.... fix please!! Have checked from Broadband, also 56k modem, IE 6.0, 6.1, 5.5 - suspect its you.

THE GUYS:
We're looking at our site right now, as we type. Hmmm. In addition, you're the only person to note this and we've had almost 500 visitors in the last 2 days. We suspect its you. By the way, we love party girls. Send pictures.




ELLIS:
How about a few rule changes next year... i.e. No one can select the oldest people in the world, or death row inmates.... Spoils it for the rest of us.

THE GUYS:
You'll note that Death Row inmates are already excluded if they die from Capital Punishment. The oldest person in the world is, in fact, a celebrity of sorts. Also, once they're dead, it spoils them for the rest of us.




CHRIS D.:
Do you believe in miracles? Good bye, Herb Brooks.

THE GUYS:
Yeah. And all those pictures he made with Marty Feldman were a pisser too.




CHEFDEVERGUE:
I need your assistance. A couple of days ago I found myself in a conversation regarding Zamfir, "King of the Pan Flute." How the topic of Zamfir came up in the first place I'll never know, but someone said he thought that maybe Zamfir had bought the farm and was now frollicking in the Elysian Fields. After all, those damn Zamfir albums used to be found everywhere...now, one has to look hard to find a "Zamfir Christmas" album, or "Zamfir plays Elvis' Greatest Hits" album. His being dead would certainly explain that, although dead musicians have continued to release new recordings for years.

Anyway, I figured if anyone would know the answer to this, it would be you guys. Is Zamfir indeed dead, or has he simply been afflicted with a severe case of obscurity?

THE GUYS:
Zamfir, in all his pan flute glory, is alive. He is 62 years old and can still toot like an eight year old after a bowl of baked beans.

CHEFDEVERGUE:
Truly, that was one of the greatest similes I have read in a long, long time. I stand in awe of you.




KEVIN C.:
hey! you guys are slacking....whattabout Bobby Bonds? course, if no one has him, i guess it doesn't matter a whole lot....

just givin ya a hard time....

THE GUYS:
Barry =Celebrity. Bobby=Nice Guy and good ball player, with Celebrity son. Now, if Thurmon Munson were to croak, there would be a celebrity. Oh, right. Forgot. The plane.

KEVIN C.:
lol....touche!




FRANCINE B.:
Just wanted to know when is too early to send in my picks for 2004,

Now is probably too soon, cause they might buy the farm with 4 months to go...

Looking forward to entering!!

Anything new I need to know about (I read all the info on the site)

just givin ya a hard time....

THE GUYS:
We post the rules for the upcoming year on Halloween (spooky). After that, you're welcome to enter. However, most like to wait until closer to the new year.




SMART GUY:
Hey guys, Wesley Willis died on August 21st. He had Leukemia. He may be considered more a celebrity to those of us from the Midwest/Chicago area, but he was on MTV more that a few times and he was a regular on a number of Chicago radio stations. In the event that anyone reads these email ramblings: Willis was a homeless, schizophrenic, poet who sold drawings of the city on cta busses so that he could afford food. Some exploitive white guys whipped up a marketing ploy to have him recite his painfully self effacing poetry ("I'm Sorry I Got Fat," "Fit Throwing Hell Ride," "My Joyplane Crash and Burn") while an all-while punk band played behind him. He was, by all accounts, a warm friendly man who died penniless (his cd's and books are still available through various internet markets, however.) Rock over London - Rock on Chicago.

THE GUYS:
Ya know what? It sounds to us like your a pretty nice guy too. That's a good thing.




STACEY THE STALKER:
Leni's dead!

THE GUYS:
Good!




JODY G.:
I'm sure you've already gotten a reply or 50, but if you still need the Johnny Cash bulletin, let me know....

Hugs!!

THE GUYS:
Yeah, we did. We'll take more hugs though. Just look out for the cheap feel we'll eventually go after too.

JODY G.:
Sorry.....I'm not cheap. It'll cost you a quarter.




MIKE H.:
I think one of the players has Chappie Fox on the list. Found an AP obit on him and besides you guys are certain to provide a hilarious sendoff for the Tad Szulc of Circusdom.

THE GUYS:
Thanks!




CHEFDEVERGUE:
You may have noticed that you haven''t received any grouchy e-mails from Phoebe recently. I'd like to say that it is because she was too busy stirring up shit in other corners, but unfortunately, it is because she finally died last week after a long fight with an inoperable brain tumor.

She was my cousin, and I guess I was responsible in part for all those obnoxious e-mails, since I told her about your site. It appealed to her warped sense of humor, and she was annoyed that she didn't find your site sooner, so that she could have bothered you guys at greater lengths.

She knew she wasn't going to last the year, so she didn't submit a list for 2003. She was a bit relieved that she at least outlasted Bob Hope and Strom Thurmond. She took a real turn for the worse shortly after Bob died. She always faced her situation with good humor, and appreciated your general irreverence. She wanted me to tell you, "I'm not ignoring you, it's just that I'm dead and I've fallen a bit behind in my correspondence. It's very inconvenient."

So now you know. She hoped this would give you an excuse to drink heavily, as though you needed a reason.

THE GUYS:
Below is an email we sent to Phoebe in 2002. It's also posted in the archives. It's a weird coincidence that we had this exchange with your cousin not knowing that she was ill. Phoebe sent some of the most fun and funniest emails we received. Who can forget the swollen testicle exchange, the Sylvie Jealousy/Grammar emails, the cursing her for her relationship with Kevin Kline, and her self deprecating golf jokes. She was witty and funny, characteristics made crystal clear by her parting comments to us (via your email). We'll miss her.

"There is always discomfort in running this thing. A friend gets cancer, a loved one dies, or someone in the prime of life checks out and we think, damn there is absolutely nothing funny about this! There are times we squirm when we write the obits for the page (most recently with Carrie Hamilton, a woman just about our age). But, we realize that life and death are, in fact, quite funny. If folks would just step back and see the big picture they'd recognize death as the great equalizer (that in itself is kinda funny) and that laughter, even in the face of sadness...no, ESPECIALLY in the face of sadness.... is the best thing we have as humans. It is a very thin thread between comedy and tragedy.

We can only speak for ourselves, but we'd rather have a room full of hecklers and people laughing at our funerals than a room full of dirges and tears. We presume the room would be full of our friends, why would we want them crying? And frankly, dirges are a bore."


P.S. If this can be considered a tribute to Phoebe's memory in any way; one of us was, in fact, out drinking heavily when you sent this email.




BILL R.:
Geez, how many "celebrity deaths" have there been this year so far?

It MUST be a record year, ay?

THE GUYS:
That all depends who ya ask.




ROBERT Y.:
From "Time To Go":

Well, my "world's oldest person" hasn't died yet this year. Damn.

I missed winning 2002 by one pick, the "world's oldest man" Antonio Todde would have done it for me. Drats. It's the thrill of victory more than the money; someone anonymous just sent me $100 this week, so I know the thrill of the unexpected Ben Franklin.

These Japanese really seem immortal (116-year-old oldest woman AND 114-year-old oldest man)

And as for the "119-year old" woman: if she wasn't in the Guinness Book, she was just a pretender. But she's in the Book of the Dead, all right.

THE GUYS:
Oh boy, we're sure this is gonna offend somebody but here goes......

Immortal? Ever hear of Hiroshima?




ROBERT Y.:
Should've posted Bobby Bonds. For years, Barry was known as the "son of Bobby Bonds." Only in recent years did the celebrity status reverse itself.

Bobby had 332 homers, 461 steals, and was a 30/30 man 5 times.

He also holds the record for whiffing 189 times in a single season.

THE GUYS:
Yeah, and for years the names Kukla, Fran, and Ollie meant something to people. No use living in the past.




BILL R.:
Heh, what a CLASSIC e-mail...thanks!

Again, I say THIS year is theeee BIGGEST in "celebrity deaths" thusfar..agreed?

THE GUYS:
Its been a bad year for celebs which makes it a good year for poolers.




STU P.:
I notice in your exchange with Kevin that you can enlarge the size of a penis. If so, is it because you 2 are so "stud"ly that you can even make the blood flow to the nether regions of other guys, or are you holding back on a secret from the rest of us. By the way I sent $20 via paypal. Will that help with the penis enlargement information?

THE GUYS:
Usually we get the money about five minutes after the enlargement. Typically, it comes out of some 70 year olds purse. Hey, gotta live.

Thank you for your very generous donation to the O.B.E. Memorial Celebrity Death Watch.




CHEFDEVERGUE:
Robert Palmer --- simply unreviveable.

THE GUYS:
Excellent! We laughed out loud. Really laughed. Thank you.




SMART GUY:
Three quick things:

One- Intellivision! George Plimpton as the spokesmodel for Intellivision invited the fit healthy youth of the 1970's to be a part of the game (not unlike his schtik in the "hands-on" books he'd penned) and urged that Intellivision would be the video game console that would best represent the experience. 30 years mountains of chili cheese fritos, gallons of oxy wash, and record high obesity rates in american teens later and I know that I look back fondly at my career high in "pitfall."

Two- A few postings previous in the mailbag you guys used the word "chortle." I would like to challenge any other viewers to find a website (other than, say, Websters Dictionary.com) that has used "chortle" even out of context.

Three: Wesley willis! Still waiting to see his obit posted. Chappie Fox is up there... And... well, quite frankly his all-white punk band sucked in comparison to Wesley's...

THE GUYS:
Three things:

1) Pitfall was on Atari.
2) Chotle means, accroding to one defintion, "to laugh or chuckle in satisfaction." We think this is in context.
3) Next to G.G. Allin, we can't think of a guy more punk than Chappie Fox. Well, perhaps Tad Szulc.

SMART GUY: Though made by atari Pitfall was available in cross platform cartridges, in fact the best graphics for it were on the intellivision version. (letting my geek flag fly there for a moment.)

I was commending you on your use of 'chortle.'

I wonder if anyone has done a 6 degree separation between chappie fox and G.G. Allin before?

THE GUYS:
1) Okay, so you're a video game geek. There are worse things. Not too many, but a few.

2) Thank you. We've got great vocabularies. It's our spelling and typing that suck.

3) We don't. We wonder how many people actually got the G.G. Allin comment.




BILL R.:
..In "Make 'em Laugh" from Singin' in the Rain, Donald kicked ALOT of things...now he's gonna have OTHERS make HIM lay...

Wonder if Sandra Day O'Connor will be the next exit? After all, it's been a good pool for "O'Connors" thus far this millenium, ey?

At any rate, one can't WAIT for the NEXT Acadamy Awards telecast...their OBIT segment since last Spring is gonna run AS LONG as the presentations!!

THE GUYS:
And be more interesting.




BILL R.:
..Over the past 3 days, D.O.C. took a turn for da wurst over G.P. and R.P. - -

Here's my predictions on who will kick before 2004: -Jack Palance
-Mickey Rooney
-Phylis Diller
-Mel Brooks
-Peter Falk
-Paul Harvey
-Don Rickles


THE GUYS:
Thanks Kreskin.




PHIL P.:
You've listed Norman Mailer as "General." Joke or error? Either's fine with me.

THE GUYS:
You mean he wasn't a General? Crap. What about all thet "I shall Return" stuff. Are you sure?




BILL R.:
I didn't recieve any bulletins on O'Connor and that Hollywood director....is all OK?

I hope you don't think I'm bein' a wise-guy for sending notes - I only want(ed) to share with you MY thoughts...hope that's OK..

If not, do let me know and I'll refrain from doing do....thanks!

THE GUYS:
Don't be such an insecure wuss. If we wanted to kick you off our mail list or publicly ridicule you, we'd stand on your lawn in our underwear singing "Bill is an over-emotional post-modern wanker" or some similar ditty. Relax.

BILL R.
You set me right...I'm relaxed...

Oh, I gotta hand it to ya on the "jackass" mention in O'Connor's bulletin...you guys ARE the masters of the last word!




ROBERT Y.:
It must be a jinx or something. I say the Japanese are immortal and the old man finally croaks.

THE GUYS:
Yeah, right. Talk about a God complex. Ever hear of C-O-I-C-I-D-E-N-C-E? Uh, just in case, please don't talk about us.




ROBERT Y.:
It must be a jinx or something. I say the Japanese are immortal and the old man finally croaks.

THE GUYS:
Yeah, right. Talk about a God complex. Ever hear of C-O-I-C-I-D-E-N-C-E? Uh, just in case, please don't talk about us.

ROBERT Y.
This is not the first time this has happened. For some, reason, I have this God-given ability to "knock people off" just by talking about them.

One day I told Guinness about this really old woman, Lillie Maud Walton, who was supposed to be 114. Guinness called, the lady died the same day. Coincidence?

Later I found out the same nursing home was being investigated and was eventually shut down. I wonder if the nursing home offed her just to deflect the potential media scrutiny.

THE GUYS:
Da plane, Da Plane. Welcome my friends, welcome to Fantasy Island.




ROBERT Y.:
What's the delay on updating after the death of Yukichi Chuganji, world's oldest man?

Need an AP obit?

Well, just search "Yahoo" for Yukichi+Chuganji+AP and you'll get a ton of matches, like this one:

http://216.109.117.135/search/cache?p=Yukichi%2bChuganji%2bAP&sub=Search&ei=UTF-8&url=Vx1ehb7lVxsJ:customwire.ap.org/dynamic/stories/D/DEATHS%3fSITE=NJHAC%26SECTION=HOME

Need a photo? I can send one if you can't find one.

THE GUYS:
Hey Robert ya pushy yutz. Here's the delay..... We both have jobs and one of us has a mom in the hospital and is trying to raise a kid. All that while trying to entertain your sorry ass and keeping you on the edge of your seat about a lousy $120 bucks or so. We'll tell ya what...How's about Steve doesn't visit his mom so you can get your posting. Maybe Matt should lose his job so you can see that some unknown in Japan has died. Perhaps Steve should raise a J.D. just so you can get your jollies off of some 116 year old dude.

We'll post Yukichi (does he make those monster cards all the kids love?) when we get to it. Veg. out brother. Life's too short.

ROBERT Y.:
Sorry, dudes. I'm obessive-compulsive.

You happy now?

What's a JD?

THE GUYS:
Oh, they've given it a clinical term now, we just used to call it being a pain-in-the ass.

Juvenile Delinquent. Obviously you've never spent any quality time in a juvenile dentention center. Man, you haven't lived.




ESB:
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20030929/ap_on_re_as/obit_world_s_oldest_man_1

I guess its time to re-kindle the debate as to whether or not he's a celeb. No debate at all that he's a corpse.

Btw, the pulmonary phibrosis thing was pretty damn funny. You're e-mails really make death much more entertaining.

THE GUYS:
Thanks!




STEVE M.:
I don't recall seeing a notice about the death of the woman in nj. she was something like the 1st black woman to play in wimbledon, or win, etc.

THE GUYS:
You're referring to Althea Gibson. Ms. Gibson was the first black player to enter and win Wimbledon and a U.S. national championship. She was also the first black player to join the LPGA Tour. Should these things make her a celebrity? We think yes. Do they? Well, you yourself called her "the woman in nj." Not quite the name recognition of say, Jim Nabors. We took a pass on the celebrity posting.




LISA LEE:
Robert Kardashian, a businessman and lawyer who was a key figure in the O.J. Simpson saga and part of his legal "dreamteam," is dead at 59.

THE GUYS:
For the record, OJ was the celebrity. And in our humble opinions, the killer too.




BILL R.:
Thanks for sending that update on "The Cat that Chomped Roy"...

Incidently, I read in a CNN article what actually happened was the cat wouldn't walk in a certain direction with him onstage, and when Roy tapped his microphone on the cat's nose FIVE times, the animal freaked out....wild...

THE GUYS:
We heard that Siegfried but some bacon bits in Roy's talcum powder for a little giggle.




QUENTIN:
Stu Hart is dead. I get five points.

THE GUYS:
We are awaiting an AP obituary or report of death. So far, Mr. Hart has not gotten one.




SHANNON B.:
Just to let you know, pro wrestling patriarch Stu Hart died on October 16. My roommate and I included him on our Celebrity Death Watch for this year (we are The Purple Binder).

THE GUYS:
We know. However, his death has yet to be published in the AP. We need the AP to have the "celebrity" status met as per the rules. We're looking. If you go to our main page and click the Sinatra picture you'll get to an AP search engine. Enter in Stu Hart or Hart and you'll see what we mean. We've done it every done since the 16th.




MARK R.:
I don't know how I would find out about these things, if I didn't have Spike TV (Which I already confirmed that I do not watch.) Stu Hart, father of Brett and Owen Hart and a darn tough wrassler in his own right died sometime last week.

THE GUYS:
Yup. And although Spike TV has announced it, the AP still hasn't (even though it happened on the 16th). So, we wait.




BILL R.:
Rod Roddy/announcer died from "The Price is Right" the other day.. He used to say "COME ON DOWN"...hope he's NOW saying "COME ON UP"..:)

I didn't get a bulletin on that...thanks

THE GUYS:
Rod Roddy is about as famous as our last action in a public restroom. Puh-lease. The guy wasn't even the original announcer. Give us a break.




ROBERT Y.:
First, I'd like to mention that Madame Chiang Kai-shek died last week at 106 (or 105--whatever). Though I didn't have her on my list this year, the multiple entries make this a 3-pointer for 18 people.

The real news is that the death of Kamato Hongo Oct 31 (on 8 lists) makes the standings now like this:

Time To Go--8 deaths, 27 points (tied for first)
Vicious Pirahna--8 deaths, 27 points (tied for first)
Dr. Evil--8 deaths, 25 points (third)
Alfred Lord Heinous--8 deaths, 24 points (fourth)
MI Rich? At Times--7 deaths, 25 points (fifth)
Grinning Reaper---7 deaths, 21 points (tied for sixth)
Ren Hoek--7 deaths, 21 points (tied for sixth)


It's going to be an exciting race to the wire this year!

THE GUYS:
We know. If you go to the web-page using www.flymetothetomb.com you'll see the updates.




SUE S.:
How come Rod Roddy (announcer with gaudy jackets from The Price is Right) isn't on the Dead Folks list?

THE GUYS:
Because Ron Roddy is, in our humble opinion, not all that much of a celebrity. If that baby seal loving host went, that would be a different story.




HUDSUCKER "CAP PISTOL" LEE:
Bobby Hattfield. Dead. Does this mean the McCoy's win? Does this mean that in the Rock and Roll Heaven, there is a new lead singer? Who's going to be our heart and our soul's inspiration? Who will give us back our Lovin' Feelin' now?

THE GUYS:
No, it means that we'll never really know which of the two was the most righeous brother but we now clearly know which one is the ripest brother.

HUDSUCKER:
If Bobby is the ripest brother, then does this mean that he will be able to sing, "Underearthed Medley?"




BILL R.:
Righteous Brother Hatfield dies.

I didn't get any report....am I still on the list?

THE GUYS:
Dude, valium, please.




JOHN M.:
Just a note to add madame Chiang Kai Shek to the dead people on the entries page......

THE GUYS:
Go here: http://www.flymetothetomb.com

Also update your bookmarks. The page you're looking at is on our Verizon server. We're having problems there. It's been moved but the flymetothetomb address still gets you there.




BILL R.:
Art Carney was also the Archer on Batman. Frank Gorshin's the only villian left now I believe....correct me

THE GUYS:
Thanks! We'd forgotten about that. Good stuff!




PHIL P.:
Rise and shine, we've had a lot of death this last month, even our old friend Madame Chiang (106). And I was going to enter with her next month.

THE GUYS:
Try looking here http://www.flymetothetomb.com and updating your bookmarks. If you're bookmarked to our verizon page, no go. Because Verizon suck.




ELLIS B.:
are you going to have on-line entries for this coming year?

THE GUYS:
Take a look at http://www.flymetothetomb.com

The new rules explain it all. In short, yes!. You can email your entry and donate via pay-pal.




SHALEMAR:
Just wantend to let you know that Penny Singleton died either Friday 11/14 or Saturady 11/15. She played Blondie in the movies (Dagwood & Blondie). She was also the voice of Mrs. Jetson. It was listed by AP. Thanks!

THE GUYS:
IT's already posted. An email went out. You may have us bookmarked to the wrong page. Make sure you're looking here:
http://www/flymetothetomb.com
If your bookmarks is to our Verizon site, it's old. That site can't be updated right now because Verizon suck.




SHALEMAR:
Just wantend to let you know that Penny Singleton died either Friday 11/14 or Saturady 11/15. She played Blondie in the movies (Dagwood & Blondie). She was also the voice of Mrs. Jetson. It was listed by AP. Thanks!

THE GUYS:
IT's already posted. An email went out. You may have us bookmarked to the wrong page. Make sure you're looking here:
http://www/flymetothetomb.com
If your bookmarks is to our Verizon site, it's old. That site can't be updated right now because Verizon suck.




STALKER:
Pickles! Kosher dill are my faves! I could live on em. My boyfriend always gives me his pickle.. Mmm Mmm Good

THE GUYS:
Ya know we have pickles too........




ROBERT N.
Pickles.

What, are you pregnant?

THE GUYS:
Not that we know of. Hmm, Steve has been a little bloated and moody lately. Ya never know.




MARK R.
Guys, Don't you hate it when the reaper beats you to the punch? I had tagged Dorothy Faye Ritter as a 2004 a-lister for me since I had read in a February Parade magazine article that she had been in "failing health". So the grim reaper beat me to the punch. That bastard.

Also, my wife will be making an entry this year. Is that allowed?

THE GUYS:
One entry per individual or team. So, yes it's allowed.




MARK R.
Guys, I know that he has done little since Fame but the guy that played Leroy kicked it this past week. I'm suprised that you didn't take advantage of the "I'm gonna live forever" punchline opportunity. Also, the guy name Kupcinet died. Did he get an AP Obit? Someone had him listed. By the way, how do you get access to the A.P. obits?

THE GUYS:
1) The show may have been called fame but that doesn't make any of its actors particularly famous. The line is a tempting one though.

2) Thanks for the Irv K. heads up. We saw the death posted but didn't realize that he was on a list. We'll get on that.

3) You can see the AP obits daily here

http://www.newsday.com/news/nationworld/nation/wire/

They're ususally posted in the early am.

Also, you can click on the Jesus Sinatra on our main page to get to an AP search engine. Type in "obituaries" in the headlines section and hit the button.

MARK R.:
Yeah, screw Leroy. Save the line for Debbie Allen. I like to congratulate everyone who unknowingly uses a sentence that has never been used before in history. So congrats to you for "You can click on the Jesus Sinatra." line.

THE GUYS:
Thank you. We were rather fond of that ourselves. However, you imply we did this unknowingly. That, good sir, is presumptuous.


CHEFDEVERGUE:
Going, going....Spahn.




BILL R.
Pickles.

YUMMY!

I predict Mickey Rooney next by heart attack!

THE GUYS:
Hey, why not pick a location and we can make it a game of Clue....Mickey Rooney in the crapper by a heart attack. Sick, very sick.




TOM R.
I'm back from a partially successful frontal lobotomy and gender re-assignment. Here are 2 pics of Warren Spahn which may be better than the one on your site.

THE GUYS:
Was it partially succesful because the balance of the procedure resulted in the gender reassignment?

TOM R.
Exactly. I got that nasty old "male" thinking right out of my head.




C. HOLTMAN:
I wanna play for 2004.... it appears the entry form is for 2003.... are you taking entries for 2004 and if so, how do I sign up???

THE GUYS:
Wrongo! Go here
http://www.flymetothetomb.com

bookmark it.

That's our webpage. The place you're visiting is an old version that we can't take down because Verizon decided to hire the spawns of satan for their Lack of Customer Service Department.




Q:
Alright, I have to ask, did you guys join the list of dead people?

THE GUYS:
No.




STALKER:
I am in dire financial straits this year, (no this is not a plea for assistance) I am also NEVER around, and I'm super busy.. (spending 4 days a week in church.. Never thought you'd get a Holy Roller/Jesus Freak/Bible Banger outta the stalker huh?) so, I will *sniff* not be participating in the 2004 OBE.. "SO long, and thanks for all the stiffs"

THE GUYS:
Look, you know you don't need to send us money. And you had the time to write the email below. So all ya gotta do is get 13 little 'ol names on an email and send it on over. It would simply be too much for us to lose our Stalker. Hey, what would Jesus do?




MI RICH?:
You know I play in a number of games, and in reading the rules written by various dead-pool commissioners, this whole question of what might happen to Saddam Hussein in the next 3-12 months - but possibly likely in 2004 (whatever "possibly likely" means) - leaves me wondering whether he'll count in some places but not in other places. If Saddam is tried, found guilty, and executed for his crimes during 2004, is he eligible to count in your game? Surely, he was/is a famous figure. But at what point does he become a death-row inmate, or the like? Let me know your thoughts, at your convenience.

THE GUYS:
See the following from our rules. This should explain it.

"8.0 WHAT CONSTITUTES A CELEBRITY?

Several factors must be met in order for a pick to meet the definition of celebrity. First, the pick must be alive at the time the list is mailed or submitted. A pick who is dead when placed on a list, will be removed from that list by The Guys and The Death Watcher submitting the list ends up playing with a list containing less people than the other Death Watchers. The Death Watcher simply loses the pick from their list and plays out the season with a reduced number of picks on that entry. (Remember, do your homework kiddies).

Second, a celebrity must have some notability. Since that can be a questionable term, the Guys at the O.B.E define a celebrity as any famous sports, political, entertainment, or other national or international figure whose death is announced in the Associated Press. (Use your heads here....Movie stars are celebrities, movie extras are not; presidents of countries are celebrities, presidents of your local girl scout troop are not; singers and song writers of national or international note are celebrities; the fact that you sing in the shower does not make you a celebrity). We hope you get it. If you pick the truly obscure, you run the risk of not scoring the death as the person may not get an AP report of their death. In addition, you make our job harder and most of the other Death Watchers get really snotty about you too.

Third, certain riff raff, though their deaths will likely be reported in the AP, are excluded from celebrity status. No person who is killed by a scheduled execution: foreign, federal, or state, will count as a celebrity (this does not include assassination, overthrow, or coup d'etat). The idea here is no death row, political prisoners condemned to death, or the like."




TINA N.:
I didn't see him on the dead list.

Trevor Goddard.
Birthday: October 14, 1962
Birth Place: Croydon, Surrey, England, UK
Date of death: June 7, 2003
Cause of death: Apparent accidental drug overdose

THE GUYS:
That's because no one but old ladies and suburban house wives watch JAG.

TINA N.
Add Trevor Goddard, Earl Hind, and that singer -- you know -- the one with all the girls in tight black dresses, oh yeah - Robert Palmer. He died this year too.

THE GUYS:
Please make certain ou're going here:

http://www.flymetothetomb.com

Otherwise you're looking at a very outdated page that we can't change at this time.

Trevor Goddard, Earl Hind simply don't rate.

TINA N.
Thanks anyway -- I found a more comprehensive list on the 'net.

THE GUYS:
Ours is not designed to be a comprehensive list. We only post those folks we believe to be celebrities and those folks who appear on lists. That's it. There is always a good deal of debate about what makes a celebrity.

There are many great lists that track dead folks. We like this guy. He sends out a brilliant week in review each week. Plus he's a nice guy.

http://www.whosaliveandwhosdead.com




ALFRED LORD HEINOUS:
I'm real sorry to do this to you on this the busiest of days, but... http://www.iht.com/articles/115889.html. I would have dealt with this long ago but I thought I had already been credited.



THE GUYS:
Please look at the webpage here

http://www.flymetothetomb.com

And update your book marks. The verizon page has not been updated and can't be taken down right now do to the severe retardation of most of the customer support folks at verizon.




E. BRAKE:
I am hoping to play your fine game this season, and wanted to know if I can enter it as an Individual AND also enter with my buddy as a Team too. Or, do I have to play only one way or the other. Yep, I read the rules, front to back, but I'm not sure and don't want to screw it up.

Thanks for your kind assistance. I enjoy your site. Nice work.

THE GUYS:
Well, You've got a good question. The rules allow one entry per individual or team. The reason for this is that we don't require that you pay for each entry thus allowing multiple entries presents an unfair advantage to that player. (If we required payment, who would care as you'd be paying against each chance But there are tons of legal reasons we don't do this).

So, keeping with the spirit of the requirement, we think it would be best if you only entered once. The reality is we'd never know the better if your team's list was addressed to another member (and, in essence, that's like having another person play). So we guess the answer is, we'll only accept an entry with you on it once. What you do behind the scenes is out of our hands.

We'll clear up the rules for 2005. Your point is a good one.

Oh yeah, it sure would be nice if you made a donation too (beg, plead, grovel).

We love ya for playing and for having the honesty to ask rather than just do. Thanks!




CARYN:
Thanks - Quick question. i went to Paypal to send $5 to the_guys@verison.net and PayPal said the address was not yet hooked up to PayPal. Is there a different email address to send the $5 to by PayPal, or do you want me to pop it in the mail. After all you are paying for a post office box.

THE GUYS:
Use the donate link on the web page. The PayPal account is under a different email. Thanks!




ROBERT Y.:
Just noticing that you haven't updated the "recent deaths" since Oct.

Is there going to be a 2004 show?

Also, what about dead people like Kamato Hongo and Art Carney, I haven't seen any updates at all lately.

THE GUYS:
Make sure you're going here

http://www.flymetothetomb.com

Update your bookmarks. We think you're looking at the old location (verizon) which currently can't be updted or taken down due to verizon being really lousy people.

ROBERT Y.
Why is the Verizon site giving so much problems? Because the re-direct (which is supposed to send us to www.flymetothetomb.com) instead re-directs back to the Verizon site. I know--I've tried it. Only because of your direct response to my e-mail did I figure out why there were no updates after Fred Berry (I thought Matt's mom must have been really sick for a long time). You have to type in www.flymetothetomb.com to get to the site.

Oh, and I'm pi$$ed that I finished 2nd two years in a row. This time, had I had Madame Chiang Kai-shek on my list, it would have been mine. I should have stuck to my guns if I was going after the "oldest" angle. At least I didn't fall for the "Robert Hodges" (oldest veteran) trap. I know who's going to get AP and who isn't.

THE GUYS:
Weird. THe flymetothetomb redirect should always bring you to the most recent page. It may have to do with the manner in which your browser handles the history file.




Back to the Archives