The O.B.E. Bulletins

Well it's like this, lots of you folks have said you love the bulletins the most. So we figured, why not preserve them for posterity? Here they are, special for you:

December 26, 2002

Renowned World Cup photographer, Stanley Rosenfeld, has died. Stanley started shooting the World Cup with his dad in 1930 and carried on the work his entire life. The relevance of all this is that "M.I. Rich? At Times" has come from behind to take the lead because of the future lack of Mr. Rosenfeld. We're certain Stanley would be proud.

A fella name Stanley took shots
Of gentlemen racing their yachts.
He was very devote
To his camera and boat....
And to filling up green, grassy plots.

December 23, 2002

Not a good year for punk rockers. Joe Strummer, guitarist for punk/garage rockers The Clash has died. They tried repeatedly to give a him a "little jump from electrical shockers" to no avail.

December 15, 2002

Actor Brad Dexter has died. Dexter appeared in the Magnificent Seven and, no kidding, once saved Frank Sinatra from drowning. Dexter, Coburn.....If we were Bronson, we'd be a bit worried.

December 5, 2002

Former ABC TV executive, Roone Arledge has died. Arledge created such institutions as Wide World of Sports, Nightline, and Monday Night Football. Here's a tidbit on Roone, he was notorious for not returning phone calls. Bet that won't be changing!

November 29, 2002

Actress Billie Bird has flown the coop.

November 28, 2002

Former advisor to Lydon B. Johnson, George Christian has died. Although we couldn't find too much funny about this fella we did find out that he was lured into politics by a guy named Jake Pickle.

November 19, 2002

James Coburn - Out like lint.

November 4, 2002

Actor Jonathan Harris has died. You'll likely remeber Harris as Dr. Zachary Smith from the classic, yet campy, science fiction series "Lost in Space." Harris had a blood clot in his heart. Oh dear!

November 1, 2002

DJ, Jam Master Jay, of Run DMC fame was fatally shot in his studio yesterday. Tougher than leather maybe. Tougher than bullets, definitely not.

October 25, 2002

Actor, Richard Harris, has died. How about "A Man Called Morte"?

October 25, 2002

Regarding Paul Wellstone...Earlier today, the Senator from Minnesota dropped out of the sky like a, well, stone.

September 20, 2002

Seems LaWanda Page and James Gregory checked out too. Page was Aunt Esther from "Sanford and Son" while Gregory was Inspector Luger on "Barney Miller." Man, not a good time for 70s sitcom. If we were Freddie Prince we'd look out. Oh! Really? His son? Crap! Sorry.

September 20, 2002

Sports great Bob Hayes has seen his last days.

September 11, 2002

Football legend Johnny Unitas and Dr. Zira actress, Kim Hunter have both died. Hunter died of an apparent heart attack while Unitas was apparently chased by a group of militaristic gorillas. Hmmm.

September 4, 2002

Billionaire philanthropist W. Clement Stone is officially W. Clement dirt.

August 31, 2002

Jazz great, Lionel Hampton has died. Not only did this guy play a wicked vibraphone, we love his scale size trains too!

August 13, 2002

Enos Slaughter. Well, actually Enos old age.

JULY 24, 2002

Author, Chiam Potok, has been "chosen".

JULY 17, 2002

Joaquin Balaguer has died. Yeah, we don't know either, but he's on someone's list. What can we say.

JULY 9, 2002

Actor Rod Steiger as died. You may rememebr him from "In the Heat of the Night" and "On the Water Front." How's this one....Sod Steiger.

JULY 9, 2002

Producer Lore Noto has died. Mr. Noto produced "The Fantasticks," the longest running musical in the world. The play opened May 3, 1960. It closed this past January on the 13th. Lore closed a little later, on July 8.

JULY 6, 2002

Director, John Frankenheimer, has died. Frankenheimer directed such classics as "The Manchurian Candidate" and "Birdman of Alcatraz." Of course he also made "Prophecy," "The Challenge," and "Dead-Bang." Obviously consistency wasn't this guy's trademark.

JULY 6, 2002

Jay Berwanger, winner of the first Heisman Trophy and the first person to ever be drafted by the NFL has died. Can anyone say Tad Szulc?

JULY 5, 2002

Baseball great Ted Williams took a slide into home.

JUNE 30, 2002

Singer and Aunt of George Clooney, Rosemary Clooney, has died. Man, first Entwistle now Clooney, what will the rock world do?

JUNE 27, 2002

"The Who" bassist John Entwistle won't get fooled again, becuase he's dead.

JUNE 22, 2002

Advice columnist Ann Landers is dead. Don't worry Ann, everybody hates getting advice anyway.

JUNE 19, 2002

Sports announcer Jack Buck has died. It is now apparent to all parties exactly where the Buck stops.

JUNE 17, 2002

Robert Whitehead, a producer of Broadway plays, is now a producer of noxious odors.

JUNE 13, 2002

Fashion designer Bill Blass has died. Bill is now pret-a-pot, ay?

JUNE 10, 2002

Mob boss John Gotti Sr. has died. Gotti, often called "The Don" is now offically being called "The Gone."

JUNE 6, 2002

Former member of The Ramones, Dee Dee Ramone has died of an apparent drug overdose. Hey Dee Dee, now you wanna sniff some glue?

JUNE 4, 2002

Famed Hollywood movie mogul, Lew Wasserman has died. Now we can call him Lew Isacorpse.

MAY 30, 2002

Author and journalist, Mildred Wirt Benson has died. Mildred penned the Nancy Drew books read by thousands of teen and pre-teen girls. You may recall Nancy Drew and the Case of the 96 Year old Journalist

MAY 23, 2002

Biologist/Paleontologist, Stephen Jay Gould has died. Gould was an avid evolutionist Golfing legend, if there is such a thing, Sam Snead is dead. They say Snead had one of the sweetest strokes in the game. We're not sure if it was the sweetest, but a stroke it certainly was.

MAY 20, 2002

Biologist/Paleontologist, Stephen Jay Gould has died. Gould was an avid evolutionist who believed evolution occured in fits and starts, an idea called "punctuated equilibrium." As much as others study evolution, we're certain we won't get Gould again.

MAY 12, 2002

Hugo Banzer, Bolivian dictator from 1971 to 1978, overcame 13 coup attempts in that period. In 1997 Banzer again became the Bolivian leader, this time in an election. Banzer sure could fight off coups. Tumors on the other hand....

May 12, 2002

Dan Devine, college footbal coach and NFL coach, has died. This guy's college teams (Arizona Stae, Notre Dame, and Missouri) had a combined record of 172-57-9 (that's .742) over his career. Dan was a coach with a heart. A bad heart.

APRIL 26, 2002

Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes of the R&B act "TLC" died in a car crash on April 25, 2002. Lopes was in Honduras on vacation at the time of the accident. If only she had that other eye, maybe she would have seen it coming.

APRIL 23, 2002

Former porn star and, later in life, anti-porn activist, Linda Lovelace has died. Linda is famous for the 1972 picture "Deep Throat," a movie she claimed she was forced to do. Linda died in a car crash. We wonder if she was the passenger?

APRIL 21, 2002

We weren't certain we should mention football star and Supreme Court Justice, Byron White, but a few of you got all bent outta shape.

APRIL 21, 2002

The singer for grunge rockers Alice in Chains, Layne Staley, is dead. Didn't those guys have an album called "Dirt?" How prophetic.

APRIL 18, 2002

Yup, Thor Heyerdahl is dead. The Norwegian adventurer crossed the Pacific on a balsa log raft and logged his the 101-day voyage in the book "Kon-Tiki." Now he's not only Thor, he thopped breathing too.

APRIL 16, 2002

Actor, Robert Urich has died. For the record, Spencer is officially no longer for hire.

MARCH 29, 2002

The Queen Mother has died. And just as we were beginning to believe she was the undead too.

MARCH 28, 2002

Billy Wilder? Try Billy idler.

MARCH 27, 2002

Milton Berle is dead. He'll be buried in the biggest coffin in show business.

MARCH 27, 2002 more.

MARCH 19, 2002

Maud Farris-Luse has died. Ain't that the way it always is? One minute you're the oldest person in the world, the next minute your mulch.

MARCH 4, 2002

Actor Lawrence Tierney died on February 26, 2002. Lawrence was a "B-movie" actor who starred as Dillinger in the 1952 film of the same name. Hey, give us a break, he's on Ken's list.

FEBRUARY 27, 2002

Spike Milligan has died. Spike, along with Harry Secombe, Michael Bentine and Peter Sellers made up the British comedy troupe "The Goons." Spike has been driven in to the ground.

FEBRUARY 27, 2002

Social Anthropologist Raymond Firth has left the earth! Ray is on a list but the obit hasn't hit the AP as of yet.

FEBRUARY 27, 2002

At least one of you is miffed that we decided not to list John Thaw, the guy who played Inspector Morse, so here he is. Inspector Corpse.

FEBRUARY 24, 2002

Your favoriate Russian composer and ours is now a Russian decomposer.

FEBRUARY 22, 2002

Animator Chuck Jones has died. We suppose asking "What's Up Doc?" resulted in an unexpected answer for Chuck.

FEBRUARY 19, 2002

Howard K. Smith, celebrity or not? We think not. But.....He was one of Murrow's Boys. Now he's a burrow boy.

FEBRUARY 14, 2002

Mammas don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys with blood sugar problems.

FEBRUARY 9, 2002

Do you have Prince Albert in a can? Nope, but we've got Princess Margaret in a box.

January 28, 2002

Swedish author Astrid Lindgren has died. Ms. Lindgren penned that kids classic, "Pippi Longstocking." And you folks thought the only things worth while to come out of Sweden were those candy fish and the erotica films.

January 22, 2002

Peggy Lee has died. Man, first Bruce, then Brandon, now Peggy. Funny, you couldn't even tell she was Asian.

January 20, 2002

Actress, writer, and musician Carrie Hamilton has died. Carrie was the daughter of comedian, Carol Burnett. Hamilton appeared in the TV series "Fame," "Beverly Hills 90210," "Thirtysomething," and "Murder She Wrote." Cancer she had.

January 14, 2002

Director Ted Demme died following a basketball game yesterday. Mr. Demme directed "Blow," "The Bet," and "The Ref." We can only imagine what masterpieces the world is missing out on due to his untimely demise.

January 13, 2002

Cyrus Vance, former Secretary of State under Jimmy Carter, has died. We were gonna come up with a funny line for Cyrus but instead we're reprinting two sentences quoted directly from the AP which are funny enough already. Talk about poor pronoun usage.

"Vance died at Mt. Sinai Medical Center after a long battle with Alzheimer's disease, said his son, Cyrus R. Vance Jr. He said he did not know the cause of death."

January 8, 2002

Comedian, Avery Schreiber, has died. Avery was a pretty hot ticket in the 1960's and 1970's. He had a TV show with his partner, Jack Burns, which ran in 1973. He also had a long career pitching Doritios. He was the guy who couldn't stand the crunch. Lucky for him, he won't be hearing it any more.

January 8, 2002

Fast food chain founder and pitch man, Dave Thomas, has died. Thomas, who started in the business under the tutelage of Colonel Harlan Sanders, went on to found Wendy's. We hear Dave will be buried in a traditional ceremony topped with Monterey Jack and smothered in mushrooms.

January 4, 2002

Well, the first celebrity of 2002 has bought the farm. Antonio Todde, the world's oldest man, died on January 3, 2002. Mr. Todde was a 112 year old Italian citizen who spent most of his life as a shepherd. At his birthday last year, Antonio was quoted as saying "You take one day after the other, you just go on." Perhaps he'd like to reconsider that whole "Just go on" part.

Mr. Todde's name does appear on 2002 O.B.E. entries, so we'll have some page updates to do as soon as the obit hits the AP! Yee Hah.

January 3, 2002

Famed Hollywood producer Julia Phillips has died. Ms. Phillips won an Oscar for her co-production on "The Sting." She also produced "Taxi Driver." However, it was Julia's tell-all book, "You'll Never Eat Lunch in This Town Again" that really got her noticed (in not such a nice way) in Tinsel Town.

Julia, trust us, YOU'LL never eat lunch in this town again.

Because Julia died in 2001 her obituary is posted in the archives.

January 1, 2002

Oscar winner Eileen Heckart has died. Eileen won an Oscar as best supporting actress in the 1972 movie "Butterflies Are Free." Heckle also was well known for her work on stage, which included the role of Mrs. Daigle in "The Bad Seed." Bad or not, she's being planted.

Because Eileen died in 2001 her obituary is posted in the archives.

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