THE STATS

For those of you sick enough to want to know how many Death Watchers picked certain would be worm food, this page is for you. The Guys at the O.B.E. have slaved and toiled with compass, slide rule and abacus to come up with these numbers. So, with little further fanfare, here they friggin' are:

There are 59 players in the 2001 Old Blue Eyes Memorial Celebrity Death Watch. 292 different celebrities were picked to buy the farm by the end of the year. Unfortunately four of them had already made that purchase well before we got started.

What that all means to you our dear friends is that there are 287 active picks in the Death Watch (including the exercise of one alternate). Of those 287, 176 (62%were on only one list (the solo flyers), 47 were on only two lists (16%) (the double whammies), and the remaining 64 (22%) were on three or more lists. The number one pick this year, as last year, was our old (very damn old) pal BOB HOPE. Good 'ol BOB appears on 39 lists (66%). Coming up next in line is RONALD REAGAN. THE GIPPER appears on a whopping 36 lists (61%).

As for the rest of the potential dirt nappers... Well, the complete breakdown of celebrities, who the hell some of these no-names are, and how many players picked 'em is presented below for your viewing pleasure.


The Celebrity

Why are they Celebrities?

How many picked 'em?

Bob Hope
Comedian with Little 'Hope'
39
Ronald Reagan
Ex-Lucid-President
36
Pope John Paul II
Pope on Geriatric dope
24
Dudley Moore
Actor Moore or Less
21
The Queen Mother
Former Queen in and out of a closet
21
Strom Thurmond
Political Figure - Needs to RETIRE
20
Katherine Hepburn
Actress - Kate at Heaven's gate
19
Milton Berle
Big Comedian - and we mean BIG
18
Buddy Ebsen
Actor Clamp-It shut
15
Ted Williams
Old Baseball Player
13
Fay Wray
Actress - Grey Wray
12
John Gotti Sr.
Very Nice Fella
11
Madame Chiang Kai-Shek
Wife of Politician
11
Boris Yeltsin
Russian Lush President
10
Kirk Douglas
Actor with a slur
9
Richard Pryor
Comedian - Caught on fire
9
Robert Downey Jr.
Smack fiend
9
Darryl Strawberry
Baseball Player
8
Johnny Cash
Singer/Jailbird
8
Elizabeth Taylor
Wacky Actress
7
Al McGuire
Basketball Coach
6
Anne Morrow-Lindbergh
Wife of Charlie the Pilot
6
Billy Wilder
Director
6
Dale Evans
Actress Yea-ha
6
Julia Child
Chef Cholesterol Bomb
6
Billy Graham
Evangelist
5
Don Knotts
Andy's Main Squeeze
5
Eddie Albert
Actor - Green Pastures
5
Eunice Kennedy-Shriver
Old Kennedy
5
Hume Cronyn
Actor
5
Mel Stottlemyre
Baseball Player
5
Al Hirschfeld
Characiture Artisit
4
Alistair Cooke
Guy in Leather Chair
4
Annette Funicello
Peanut Buttery Actress
4
Dick Cheney
Politician
4
Emily Couric
VA Senator and Katie's Sister
4
Gerald Ford
Bumbling President
4
Harold Stassen
Presidential Wanna-be
4
Harry Morgan
Wife Beater
4
Joey Bishop
Last Rat Packer
4
Lady Bird Johnson
Lydon's squeeze
4
Leni Riefenstahl
Nazi Film Chick
4
Mortimer J. Adler
Philosipher
4
Perry Como
Singer
4
Rosa Parks
Sat at front of bus
4
Arlene Francis
Perennial Panelist
3
Art Carney
Actor, Barney Rubble Prototype
3
Arthur C. Clarke
Author
3
Augusto Pinochet
Nasty fella from Chile
3
Carroll O'Connor
Actor
3
Eddie Mathews
Baseball Player
3
Edward Teller
Father of H-Bomb
3
Elizabeth Kubler Ross
Author on Death and Dying
3
Estee Lauder
Cosmetics billionaire
3
Hugh Hefner
Matt's Idol
3
Imogene Coca
Actress
3
Jerry Lewis
Dean's ex-partner
3
Keith Richards
Rock & Roll Pharmacist
3
Mickey Rooney
Short Actor
3
Rodney Dangerfield
Comedian
3
Simon Wiesenthal
Nazi hunter
3
Stephen Hawking
Smart Guy
3
Ted Kennedy
Old drunk from unlucky family
3
William Westmoreland
General, Vietnam
3
Yasser Arafat
PLO Leader
3
Andy Griffith
Matlock et al.
2
B. B. King
Musician
2
Calista Flockhart
Thin Actress
2
Carol Channing
Weird Looking Actress
2
Charles Lane
Actor
2
Claude Levi-Strauss
Anthropologist
2
Dick Trickle
Nascar Driver
2
Eddy Arnold
Country Singer
2
Elia Kazan
I do believe I know some Commies
2
Eminem
White Rapper
2
Ernest Borgnine
Actor
2
Eudora Welty
Author
2
Fidel Castro
Made convertable bed
2
Fiona Apple
Singer
2
Glenn Ford
Actor
2
Gloria Stuart
Actress
2
Hal Haig (Harry) Prieste
Oldest Olympian
2
Henri Cartier-Bresson
Photographer
2
J.D. Salinger
A Catcher in the Rye
2
Jack Klugman
Actor Pull the Plug-man
2
Jack Lemmon
Actor
2
Jim Nabors
Gomer Pyle
2
John Goodman
Fat Actor
2
John Wooden
Basketball Player
2
Johnny Carson
Tonight Show host
2
Karl Malden
Actor - Big nose, big smell
2
Lew Burdette
Former Baseball Pitcher
2
Lionel Hampton
Jazz Pioneer
2
Liza Minnelli
Friend of Sinatra
2
Marlon Brando
Fat Actor/Bad Parent
2
Mimi Farina
Bread and Roses Founder
2
Penny Singleton
Actress
2
Prince Rainier
Prince of Monaco
2
Princess Juliana
Queen of Netherlands
2
Red Auerbach
Former Celtics' Coach
2
Robert Guillaume
Actor - Benson
2
Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Judge
2
Saddam Hussein
Nasty Ass
2
Sean Puffy Combs
Rapper, Producer
2
Sir Harry Secombe
Comedian/Singer
2
Tammy Faye Bakker
Lots of make-up
2
Tony Curtis
Actor-Some Like It Cold, Very Cold
2
Walter Annenberg
Diplomat/Philanthropist
2
Walter Cronkite
News Guy
2
Willie Stargell
Baseball Player
2
Aileen Riggin Soule
Oldest Gold Medalist
1
Al Molinaro
Character Actor
1
Alberto Fujimori
Former President of Argentina
1
Alex Higgins
Professional Snooker Palyer
1
Alexandru Salca
Author/Ex War Prisoner
1
Allen Jerkins
Horse Racing Trainer
1
Alonzo Mourning
Basketball Player
1
Ann Landers
Know-it-all
1
Ann Southern
Actress
1
Anne Heche
Ellen's former squeeze
1
Aretha Franklin
Singer
1
Ariel Sharon
Israeli foreign minister
1
Arnold O. Beckman
Invented the pH Meter
1
Artie Shaw
Musician
1
Audrey Geisel
Suess' Wife
1
Ben Holcomb
Oldest Living Man
1
Benny Carter
Jazz Musician
1
Bill Bradley
Politician
1
Bill France Jr.
Ex-Nascar President
1
Billie Bird
Actress
1
Billy Bob Thornton
Sling Blade guy
1
Bobbi Olson
Wife of Arizona Wildcat's Coach
1
Bobby Knight
Nutty Basketball Coach
1
Bradley Walsh
UK Game Show Host
1
Brett Butler
She-man
1
Bruce Foresight
Some British Dude
1
Bum Philipps
Football Coach
1
Charles Durning
Actor
1
Charley Pell
Football Coach
1
Christian Slater
Actor, Dope Head
1
Christopher Reeve
Superman of the Disabled
1
Clint Eastwood
Make My Day
1
Colin Powell
General
1
Count Balthazar
Painter
1
Dale Messick
Created Brenda Starr
1
Daniella Westbrook
Actress
1
Dave Thomas (Mr. Wendy's)
Wendy's Guy
1
David Blaine
Magician
1
David Brinkley
Wrinkly Announcer
1
David Letterman
Late Show Host
1
Deborah Kerr
Actress
1
Dennis Weaver
Actor
1
Desmond Tutu
South African Religous Leader
1
Dick Van Dyke
Actor/Comedian
1
Dolores Hope
Bob's Gal
1
Doris Day
Actress
1
Duke Snider
Baseball Player
1
Estelle Getty
Actress Getty up and Go!
1
Ethel Kennedy
Another Kennedy
1
Fred Rogers
Mr. Rogers
1
Freddie Fender
Singer
1
Geoffrey Richmond
Bradford Soccer Chairman
1
George Best
English Soccer Star
1
George Beverly Shea
Gospel Singer
1
George Bush Sr.
Ex-President-Read Blue Lips
1
George Steinbrenner
Yankee Dude
1
George W. Bush
President of US
1
Gilbert Roland
Actor
1
Grace Slick
Don't You Want Somebody To Die
1
Greg Louganis
Diver
1
Gunter Gabel Williams
Lion Tamer
1
Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf
Drinks lots for Stern
1
Hans-Georg Gadamer
Philosophy Researcher/Author
1
Herb L. Block
Political Caroonist
1
Hunter Kelly
Jim Kelly's boy
1
Iggy Pop
Musician
1
Isabel Sanford
Mrs. Jefferson
1
Jane Withers
Actress
1
Jason Priestly
Actor, Drinker
1
Jay Z
Rapper
1
Jean Belliveau
Hockey Player
1
Jeremy Allford
Online Gaming Pioneer
1
Jesse Helms
Politiician
1
Jesse Jackson
Racist
1
Jessica Simpson
Annoying Teen Singer
1
Jim Marshall
Football Player
1
Jim McKay
Writer/Director
1
Joan Kennedy
Mrs. Drunkard
1
Joe Barbera
Cartoon fella
1
Joey Butafucco
Loser
1
John Brodie
Fotball Player
1
John Glenn
Astronaut
1
John Kenneth Galbraith
Economist/Author
1
John Lee Hooker
Blues Musicain
1
John Schneider
U.S. Attorney for North Dakota
1
John Steadman
Baltimore Sports Writer
1
Johnny Paycheck
Singer/Songwirter
1
Joseph Lieberman
Little Mensch
1
June Lockhart
Actress
1
Kate Moss
Chickee Pooh
1
Kim Mathers
Eminem's Wife
1
King Fahad
King of Saudi Arabia
1
King Norodom Sihanouk
Cambodian King
1
Kitty Carlisle-Hart
Game Show Chick
1
Kurt Vonnegut
Author
1
Lamar Lundy
Football Hall of Famer
1
Lara Flynn Boyle
Actress
1
Larry Doby
First black in American League
1
Latrell Sprewell
Punched Coach
1
Le Duc Anh
Former President of Vietnam
1
Len Vale-Onslow
Motorcyclying Legend
1
Leon Askin
Actor
1
Leslie Nielson
Actor
1
Leslie Quick Jr.
Investment Banker
1
Llyod Bensten
Politician
1
Lou Boudreau
Baseball Hall of Famer
1
Louis Farrakahn
Racist
1
Magic Johnson
Major libido
1
Marie Bremont
World's oldest Woman
1
Marion Barry
Crackhead/Politician
1
Martha Kostyra
Martha Stewart's Mom
1
Martin Landau
Guy from Space 1999
1
Mary Wighthouse
Has Show on BBC
1
Maryln Manson
Rock Star
1
Matthew Perry
Friend of pills
1
Max Schmeling
German Boxer
1
Melvin Richard
Former Miami Beach Mayor
1
Merlin Olson
Football Player
1
Merlyn Mantle
Mickey's wife
1
Michael J. Fox
Actor
1
Michael Raoul-Duval
Nixon Legal Adviser
1
Michael Stasinopoulos
Former President of Greece
1
Mike Mansfield
Politician & Former Senator
1
Mike Tyson
Ear Eater
1
Mike Wallace
60 Minutes dude
1
Mildred Wirt Benson
Author
1
Morton Downey Jr.
Loud Mouth
1
Muhammad Ali
Boxer
1
Nancy Reagan
Ron's Wife
1
Naomi Judd
Singer
1
Nelson Mandela
Fella in Dashiki
1
Nicole Bass
Female Body Builder
1
O. J. Simpson
Murderer
1
Olivia de Havilland
Actress
1
Oral Roberts
Preacher
1
Osama Bin Laden
Nasty ass
1
Pat Kennedy Lawford
A Hybrid
1
Pat Weaver
Daughter with Alien problem
1
Paul Pena
Tuvan throat singer
1
Paul Stewart
Jaguar Executive
1
Peggy Lee
Singer
1
Pete Seeger
Musicain
1
Pete Wysocki
Football Player
1
Phyllis Diller
Comedian
1
Prince Albert
In a Can
1
Prince William
Liitle Punk
1
Queen Elizabeth II
Queen of England
1
Ray Bradbury
Author
1
Ringo Starr
Beatle
1
Robbie Knievel
Evel's Boy
1
Robert Earl Jones
James' Dad
1
Robert Spangler
Confessed Murderer
1
Roone Arledge
ABC Sports Personality
1
Rosalyn Carter
Jimmy's Squeeze
1
Rose Marie
Actress/Comedian
1
Roseanne Barr
Load
1
Rosemary Glancy
White Collar Criminal
1
Rudy Guliani
NYC Mayor
1
Sandra Day O'Connor
Justice
1
Scott Weiland
Stoned Temple Pilot
1
Sid Gillman
Football Hall of Famer
1
Sir John Mills
Actor
1
Slobodan Milosevic
Yugosolian President
1
Smokey Yunick
Race Car Designer
1
Spike Milligan
British Comic
1
Stan Musial
Baseball Player, Stan-the-Man
1
Steve Hill
Actor (Law & Order)
1
Tad Szulc
Author/Biographer
1
Timothy McVeigh
Killer
1
Tony Dow
Wally from Leave It To Beaver
1
Vaclav Havel
Political Leader
1
Vanessa Redgrave
Actress
1
Viktor Hamburger
Biologist on a Bun
1
W. Clement Stone
Insurance Magnate
1
Whitey Ford
Baseball Player
1
Whitney Houston
Looney gal
1
William Hanna
Cartoon fella
1
Yogi Berra
Boo Boo's pal
1
Yoko Ono
Leach
1


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