The O.B.E. Bulletins

Well it's like this, lots of you folks have said you love the bulletins the most. So we figured, why not preserve them for posterity? Here they are, special for you:

December 30, 2001

Sports Caster Dick Schaap died on December 21, 2001. To-date, there hasnít been an AP obit and we didnít really think he was all that much a celebrity. But at least one entry for the 2002 had Dick listed. Weíre afraid that the alternate will be needed as the entry was submitted on Dec. 19, 2001. As for Dick, heís stiff but not very lively.

December 30, 2001

Actor Sir Nigel Hawthorne, nominated for an Oscar for his role in the "Madness of King George" died on December 26, 2001. Forget the madness of King George, how about that ticker of Sir Nigel.

December 30, 2001

Former Dallas Cowboy, Harvey "Too Mean" Martin died on December 24, 2001. This matters mostly because he was on a 2002 list, making the alternate rule kick in. Interestingly, George Harrison was on two VERY early entries for 2002 also. Getting back to "Too Mean," after retirement Martin had problems with bankruptcy, substance abuse, and domestic violence. Unlike many of his fellow athletes, Martin had the decency to wait until after retirement.

December 23, 2001

Foster (Brooks), Australian for dead, mate.

November 30, 2001

Author John Knowles has died. Knowles is best known for his book, "A Separate Peace." Knowles wrote the book in 1959 and, after that, no other literary masterpieces surfaced. Talk about riding out an early success.

November 30, 2001

George Harrison has died. One of the fab four, Harrison was known as the quiet Beatle. Now he's known as the really quiet Beatle.

November 24, 2001

Yeah, we don't really know who the hell she (Mary Whitehouse) is either. However, some British dude had her on his list and sure as shot, she croaked. It's kinda funny because we had thought she was already dead.

For the record, we sent out bulletins in Albert Hague and Carrie Donovan and our crappy email bot never delivered 'em. Sorry folks.

November 23, 2001

The most famous women in American business, Mary Kay Ash, grew a door-to-door cosmetic business into an empire. Mary will be buried in a shiny pink casket later this week.

October 19, 2001

Emily "Katie's sister" Couric has died. Ms. Couric, Emily that is, was in the Virginia Senate and had hoped to run as lieutenant governor before cancer set in. In 1998 Katie's husband died of colon cancer. Folks, the message is clear here, stay away from Katie, she's a carrier.

October 8, 2001

Quite possibly the best known political cartoonist to-date, Herb Block (aka Herblock), has died. Block had his first cartoon published in 1929. Herb published his last cartoon in August of this year. Cartoonist Chuck Jones once called Herb "a tiger posing as a possum." We presume Chuck meant the kind of possum you see on the side of the road on your way to work.

October 6, 2001

The longest serving Senate majority leader ever, Mike Mansfield, is dead. The guy served as a Senator from 1953 to 1977. He was majority leader from 1961 to 1977. Some on the hill said they heard Strom Thurmond chuckle.

October 6, 2001

The actress who played the eldest daughter on Eight is Enough, Lani O'Grady is dead. Apparently, seven is enough.

September 22, 2001

Master violinist Issac Stern has died. Isaac is credited with saving Carnegie Hall. Stern inspired and advanced the careers of many of today's most recognized violinists. Hmmm, is that an oxymoron.

September 21, 2001

Actress Dorothy McGuire has died. Ms. McGuire played sweet, vulnerable heroines in many pictures including "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" and "Gentleman's Agreement." Dorothy also appeared in "Old Yeller," "Three Coins in the Fountain," and "The Dark at the Top of the Stairs." Wait'll she gets a load of the dark at the bottom of the grave.

September 6, 2001

Yup, it's true. Henry Nasiff, a.k.a. Hank the Angry, Drunken Dwarf, is dead. Hank was a mainstay on the Howard Stern show for years. He had a rotten disposition, he drank like fish, and he was a dwarf. How the heck can you beat that!

For the record, his disposition isn't the only thing about him that's rotten now!

It's interesting to note that the AP has NOT posted an Obit on Hank to date. So, Grapes is S-O-L right now.

September 3, 2001

Actor, Troy Donahue, has died. Donahue will, in fact, don a hue. A blue hue.

September 2, 2001

The fella who did the first heart transplant operation, Dr. Christiaan Barnard, has died from an apparent heart attack. Uh, whatever happen to that whole physician heal thyself thing anyway?

August 26, 2001

Singer and actress Aaliyah died yesterday in a plane crash. This young lady cut her first album at fourteen and recently had a string of music and film successes. She was currently working a role in the sequel to "The Matrix." Last year, Aaliyah appeared in and performed a song for the picture "Romeo Must Die." Apparently, Romeo is not alone.

August 10, 2001

Yup, Earl Anthony! This guy may have been the best pro bowler in the world. Uh, did someone say Tad Szulc?

August 16, 2001

Hall of famer Lou Boudreau has died. Lou played for the Indians and was the 1948 American League MVP. And that was back in the day when no one belly-ached when you called a team the Indians.

August 8, 2001

Maureen Reagan has died. Message to Grim Reaper, "We Said RONALD, R-O-N-A-L-D." Jeesh, talk about a mistake.

August 6, 2001

It seems that Lorenzo Music, the fella who was the voice of Carlton the Doorman, has died. After so many years and so much crap about Buddy Holly, we now are experiencing the REAL day the Music died.

August 3, 2001

Singer Ron Townson has died. Ron was one of thee voices for The 5th Dimension. Ya know, "Aquarius/Let the Sun Shine In" and "Up Up and Away." Actually, it's more like down, down and away.

August 1, 2001

Pro Bowl offensive tackle Korey Stringer died earlier today of heat stroke. Apparently, the heavy-set Stringer suffered the onset of heat related illness yesterday during a Vikings practice and the full effects set in as his organs failed one by one. Just another indication of what we've known all along, football season starts too early.

July 31, 2001

We couldn't decide whether or not some washed out southern rocker was a celebrity or not, but we decided, what the hell. Leon Wilkeson of Lynyrd Skynyrd is dead. Southern Rock will never be the same, thank goodness.

July 24, 2001

Author Eudora Welty croaked yesterday. Of course, our crappy new mailbot was down all day so we only got around to telling you today. Eudora won a Pulitzer Prize in the early 70s for her novel "The Optimist's Daughter." She was also from Mississippi. We don't really hold that against her, we just thought you'd like to know.

July 19, 2001

Gunther Gebel-Williams has expired. This is the dude who used to stick his head in the lion's mouth at Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus. This dude was great! He could train elephants to dance, leopards to purr and horse to prance. Too bad he couldn't get that tumor to calm the hell down.

July 19, 2001

Sister of folk singer Joan Baez, Mimi Farina is dead. Mimi was a folk singer too and worked with many a famous musician including Bonnie Rait and Jackson Browne. Plus Mimi was raised a Quaker. Hmm, Quaker Farina. Mmmm, just need to add a little bacon, some eggs, a glass of orange juice, a cup of coffee, oh yeah, and about a ton of top soil.

July 19, 2001

Katherine Graham is dead. Yeah, we know we're a little late on this one, but Katherine is a little late too! How's this, Washington Post-mortum?

July 4, 2001

After a bit of debate, we've decided Chet rates. He penned such hits as "Heartbreak Hotel" and Your cheating heart. He also influenced a generation of rock-n-roll guitarists. Of course, we're skeptical of that whole protein only diet thing, but that's another story.

June 29, 2001

Mr. Adler dropped out of high school. He went on to become the world's highest paid philosopher, an educational theorist, the founder of the "Great Books" program, and the editor of the Encyclopedia Britannica. Tells ya something, n'est pas?

June 28, 2001

Actor Jack Lemmon has died. Lemmon starred in such classics as "The Odd Couple," "Days of Wine and Roses," and "The Fortune Cookie." Unfortunately, it appears Jack got the misfortune cookie this time.

June 21, 2001

Guess who else is dead....Blues great John Lee Hooker. Hooker made his name with songs like "Boom Boom," "Crawlin' King Snake" and "I'm in the Mood." For what John, a funeral?

June 21, 2001

Actor Carroll O'Connor died of a heart attack earlier today. O'Connor appeared on Broadway, in several movies and has a starring role in the TV series "In the Heat of the Night." What Carrol is best known for though, is his portrayal of Archie Bunker in the '70s sitcom "All in the Family." Only now do we find out that, Archie Bunker's heart's a clunker.

June 17, 2001

Alexandru was a dude who opposed communism and ended up doing 15 years in a Gulag. Interesting thing is Al died on April 27, 2001 and the AP just posted it. Mike R. has Mr. Salca on his list and has been tracking this one closely. So to Mike we say, better late than never. Well actually, just better late.

June 15, 2001

Renowned biologist Viktor Hamburger has died. Mayor McCheese is reportedly very broken-up about the whole thing.

June 7, 2001

Marie Bremont, formerly known as the world's oldest woman, is dead. As of Wednesday her title offically changed to the world's newest cadaver.

June 3, 2001

Anthony Quinn has died. Mr. Quinn, a well known actor of stage and screen, is best known for his work in "Zorba the Greek," "Lawrence of Arabia," "Viva Zapata!" and "Lust for Life." Quinn won oscars for the last two. The guy fathered 13 kids! Lust, yes. Life, well.......

June 2, 2001

Emmy award winning actress/comedienne, Imogene Coca, the broad who co-starred with Sid Caesar on television's classic "Your Show of Shows" in the 1950s, died Saturday. She was 92 - the cause of death is listed as 'Natural Causes'. But the O.B.E. suspects foul play. First Big Pussy now Old... well you think about it.

Her career began in Vaudeville and peaked with three sitcoms in the 1950's; she also worked well into the 80's with credits like National Lampoons Vacation. Although most regard her comedic teaming with Mr. Caesar as the pinnacle of her career; we at the O.B.E. will probably remember Ms. Coca best for her famous teaming with Mr. Cola... man that soft drink really took off.

June 1, 2001

Hank Ketcham, creator of "Dennis the Menace" bought the farm. If you thought Dennis was a menace, you'd should get a load of what a menace a bum ticker can be Hank.

June 1, 2001

Arlene Francis, actress and "What's My Line?" regular has died. Guess her line is flat.

May 30, 2001

Former Florida Gators coach Charley Pell has died. Charley coached the Gators from 1979 through 1984. During that time he amassed a pretty nice record including two bowl wins and four bowl visits. Pretty good! Thing is, Mr. Pell was also pretty good at violating the rules for recruiting, ticket sales, and athlete compensation among others. This earned him a whopping 59 sanctions and his ultimate resignation.

Complementary tickets to Charley's funeral will be available from the athletes outside the funeral home for $200.

May 23, 2001

Whitman Mayo had a long acting career which included roles on TV's Different Strokes, In the Heat of the Night, Trapper John M.D., and The Cape. His film credits include John Singleton's Boyz In the Hood, and The Main Event with Barbra Streisand. Mayo also taught a film/theatre class at Clark Atlanta University. Of course we could give a crap about all of that; what really matters is that the guy played Grady on Sanford and Son.

Trust us Elizabeth, Grady REALLY is coming.

May 22, 2001

Yeah, we know......But he's on someone's list.

Tad was an author who penned biographies of both Pope John Paul II and Fidel Castro (two REAL celebrities). Tad's last book was about the assassination attempt on John Paul II and was called "To Kill the Pope." Interestingly, the Pope was caught giggling today as he read the AP.

Mike R. landed a tie for first with Mr. Szulc. We're thinking we gotta change the rules next year to fine tune what a celebrity is gonna be. Jeesh, Tad Szulc.

May 12, 2001

Perry Como is no mo.

May 12, 2001

Author of "The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" trilogy (containing 5 books), Douglas Adams, has died of a heart attack at the age of 49. All we can say is so long, and thanks for "So Long, and Thanks For All the Fish"

April 27, 2001

Henry Yunick, famous race car designer and driver, has died. Henry, aka Smokey, develop Chevrolet's original small-block engine in 1955. His blueprints for that engine are still used on today's cars. Smokey was a huge figure in racing though he had a major, long running falling out with NASCAR over their rules. Yunick was inducted into The International Motorsports Hall of Fame in 1990.

We're not certain what's more upsetting, Yunick's death or the fact that there is an International Motorsports Hall of Fame. Actually, yes we are.

April 27, 2001

Hal Haig "Harry" Prieste, America's oldest living Olympian is, well, no longer living.

April 24, 2001

Emmy award winning producer Jack Haley Jr. died on April 21, 2001. Jack was the son of Jack Haley Sr., the fella who played the stiff and creaky Tin Man in the "Wizard of Oz." Come to think of it, Jack Jr.'s been looking a little stiff recently too.

April 22, 2001

Former Nixon and Ford White House aide Michael Duval died Friday. Duval joined the Nixon White House in 1970 and left the Ford White House in 1976 along with Gerry.

Duval joined the Nixon White house as an as an advance man. He must have been great at his job, his illness sure advanced nicely.

April 16, 2001

Joey Ramone, a founding member of the punk rock act The Ramones, has died from lymphoma. The Ramones were arguably the first punk rock act. These guys defined a movement that started in the Bowery in NYC in the mid 1970s. How can ya forget such classic tunes as "Rock-n-Roll High School," "Blitzkrieg Bop" and "I Wanna be Well." A little late for that one now Joey.

April 12, 2001

One of Britain's best-loved entertainers, Sir Harry Secombe, has died. The Brits loved this guy so much they knighted him in 1981. Unfortunately, poor 'ol Harry had cancer. He tried to fight it, but Marvin M. and Badbreak knew that Harry would eventually Secombe (Ughh).

April 9, 2001

Baseball great Willie Stargell has slid into that great home plate in the sky. After battling kidney disease for several years, the former Pittsburgh Pirate finally had his kidneys give out. That probably explains why he slid.

April 6, 2001

You folks may know Brother Theodore from his appearances on Letterman or from his run of the talk show circuit back in the early 1980s. However, we know Ted because he appeared in a show at the 13th Street Theatre in NYC. Now Matt, a Guy at the O.B.E., perfomred in a improv group whose show also went down at the 13th Street Theatre.

The improv show just happened to run each day immediately following Brother Theodore. Bet you're expecting a cute little chestnut of a tale know. Guess what kids, the guy was a dick.

April 6, 2001

Hot Rod designer and Rat Fink creator, Ed "Big Daddy" Roth has died. Ed was a real rebel in the 1950s and 1960s. Then the guy went and converted to the Mormon church in 1974. Talk about a lifestyle change. Roth was hoping to tour a new car in 2002. Just for the record, he won't be doing that now.

March 23, 2001

Seems that William Hanna of the great Hanna Barbara team has died. How can you forget the greats who gave us "Yogi Bear," "Quick Draw McGraw," Magilla Gorilla," "The Flintstones," and many more. We really thought Bill was gonna live forever....and he would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!

March 18, 2001

Mamas and the Papas songwriter/founder, John Phillips, who wrote "California Dreamin" and other hits, died Sunday of heart failure. He was 65.

In 1966, the band won a Grammy for best contemporary group performance for the single "Monday Monday."

Phillips, who received a liver transplant several years ago after years of drug and alcohol abuse, died at UCLA Medical Center at 8:15 a.m. PST.

Hmmmmmm.... and he thought he'd be safe and warm if he was is L.A. Silly boy. Better this way... face it, he could have choked to death on Mama Cass.

March 18, 2001

Glenn Hughes, the leather-dressed biker/singer who performed in the disco band the Village People, died March 4 of lung cancer at the age 50.

Hughes was one of six who formed the Village People, a disco group that capitalized off the themes popular in New York's gay nightclubs.

Although disco fell out of fashion in the 1980s, Hughes stayed with the band until 1996, when he left to sing in Manhattan cabarets.

The band released hit singles such as, "Macho Man," "Y.M.C.A.," "In the Navy" and "Go West."

Not sincle the 1980 shooting of music great John Lennon, has the music world suffered such a tragic loss. Our hearts go out to the Indian, Construction Worker, Police Man, Cowboy and G.I.

March 17, 2001

Ann Sothern, at 92 years old, died March 15 of heart failure.

Ann appeared in such MGM musicals as "Lady Be Good" and "Panama Hattie." Her film career spanned sixty years and included 64 movies and more than 175 TV episodes.

In 1988 she was nominated for an Oscar as supporting actress in "The Whales of August," which also starred veterans Bette Davis, Lillian Gish and Vincent Price.

Ann starred as Masie, in 10 Masie movies for RKO, including: "Congo Masie," "Up Goes Masie," and "Masie goes to Rio." See her new upcoming picture, "Masie pushes Dasies."

March 13, 2001

John Schneider was a former North Dakota House Democratic floor leader who served seven years as U.S. attorney. Also, he was on someone's list. According to his obit, John "served 10 years in the chamber." The way we see it, he'll be spending a lot more years than that in a chamber now.

March 13, 2001

Best selling author Robert Ludlum has died. The thing that scares us most about this one is that the AP ends his obituary with the following statement from Ludlum's spokesperson:
"Readers can expect at least three more novels."

March 13, 2001

Morton Downey Jr., the fella who invented "trash TV" is dead. The so-called "loudmouth" of the 1980's died on March 12, 2001. Interestingly, Downey wrote the surf hit Wipe Out. Really! As for the cause of death....well the papers are reporting lung cancer but we suspect a group of radical skinheads got him in an airport restroom.

March 4, 2001

Former Presidential nominee candidate (10 friggin' times) and former Governor of Minnesota, Harold E. Stassen, has died. Mr. Stassen tried for to be the Republican nominee for president ten time between 1948 and 1992. He was never nominated. He was however, the President of The University of Pennsylvania.

Stassen is quoted as saying the following regarding his many shots at the big seat:

"You have to run, to be willing to put yourself on the line before you can be really effective. You can talk or write about something and it has some meaning, but to be effective you have to lay it on the line. It's my life."

Actually Harry, it's your death.

February 20, 2001

Producer and director, Stanley Kramer has died. Mr. Kramer was flat-out amazing. His films drew 80 Oscar nominations and won 16 Oscars. "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?," "Inheret the Wind," "Judgement at Nuremberg," and "High Noon" just name a few of this fella's great works. Our personal favorite over here at O.B.E. Central is the best damn comedy movie ever made, "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World." Hey, guess who's not coming for dinner.

February 19, 2001

Artist, Balthassar Klossowski de Rola, aka Balthus, died yesterday. Balthus is among the 20th century's best known realists. Balthus is best known for his erotic, and some say pornographic, paintings of young girls. We bet ya Roman Polanski never said that though.

February 18, 2001

Seems that NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt suffered his last wreck. NASCAR is a sport where you drive really fast and glorify tobacco and beer through advertising. Now you tell us, are you suprised somebody got killed?

February 18, 2001

Eddie Mathews, along with Hank Aaron, helped Milwaukee win their only World Series. Mathews is among only 16 players to hit 500 homeruns. In addition, he was the fella on the first Sport Illustrated cover. Apparently, Eddie was stepping off a boat when it moved from the dock. He fell into the drink and was crushed three times between the boat and the pier. Then, doctors think he had a mild heart attack and came down with pneumonia while hospitalized. Wasn't Eddie's year, that's for sure.

February 18, 2001 (Kahlid Muhammad)

His Black Panther Party was "New"
Unlike all the crap that he'd spew.
Now Khalid is dead
And quite glad it is said
Are the "Honkies," "Bloodsuckers," and "Jews".

What a dick this guy was!

February 18, 2001

Dr. Masters was a leader in the field of human sexual behavior. This dude actually watched folks getting it on and called it science. Let us tell ya something, if that's science then The Guys at the O.B.E. spent plenty of nights with a VCR involved in serious friggin' research.

February 11, 2001

Abe Beame was Mayor of NYC in the mid-1970's. Here's what the AP said about him "Beame was an unlikely politician. He was 5-foot-2, soft-spoken and utterly without charisma..." As of yesterday, he's 5-foot-2, not speaking and utterly without charisma and a heartbeat.

February 7, 2001

Author, aviator, wife of Charles, and mom of a very well known missing child (Charles Jr., later found murdered), Anne Morrow Lindbergh has died. Guess there's gonna be a new spirit of St. Louis, huh.

February 7, 2001

Actress, singer, and Roy Roger's main squeeze, Dale Evans, has died. Among Dale's accomplishments are her writing of the song "Happy Trails to You" and her appearing in such notable Saturday matinee features as "My Pal Trigger," "Apache Rose" and "Don't Fence Me In." Fence you in, nah...Box you in is more like it Dale.

January 26, 2001

NCAA basketball coach and broadcaster has died. Al was a tough kid from NYC who made his love of the game a life time career. This one kinda reminds us of that Mommas and Papas song. Ya know, the one that goes..."McGuinn and McGuire couldn't get no higher..." In the case of McGuire, we're pretty certain that's accurate.

January 13, 2001

Seems Rosemary Glancy was a city official in Providence, RI. Furthermore, she was not the, uh, most honest official. She ends up getting a nice fat jail sentence. But as fate would have it, after only six weeks of that sentence, she fell gravely ill. A major court case to get an early release ensued and was won.

What'd she do? Well, she solicited bribes in exchange for tax breaks. From what we hear though, she shoulda solicted bribes for a new kideny and liver.

January 5, 2001

Famed bandleader, Les Brown has died. Les Brown and his Band of Renown had a No. 1 hit with "Sentimental Journey" during '40s. More recently, Les got "the big hit" with cancer in his '80s.

January 4, 2001

Long time sports broadcaster and one time track star, Marty Glickman, died January 3, 2001. Marty was to compete in the 1936 Berlin Olympics but, because he was Jewish, he was pulled from the team at the last minute. It seems that American team officials felt a Jewish victory would embarrass the host Nazis. We can only imagine what these officials thought of the allied victory nine years later.

January 3, 2001

Wife of Arizona basketball coach Lute Olson, Bobbi Olson died on January 1, 2001. We caught this one earlier but only got a list she appeared on today. Lute had been on indefinite leave to be with his wife during her illness (ovarian cancer). According to the AP, assistant Arizona coach Jim Rosborough would not speculate on when Olson would return to the team. We presume Jim meant Lute.

January 2, 2001

Holy cow, 2001 is taking off like a rocket. Actor Ray Walston, Uncle Martin from "My Favorite Martian," has died. You may know Ray from his Tony Awarding winning performance in the play "Damn Yankees" or as the judge on the television show "Picket Fences." Matter fact, Ray won an Emmy in 1995 for "Picket Fences." Wait'll ya get a load of him in his new effort, "Wooden Boxes."

January 1, 2001

The champagne isn't even flat yet and we have our first death of the year. Baltimore Sports writer, John Steadman is now more appropriately known as John Deadman. Bill B. had Mr. Steadman on his list. Because it's so early in the year, we're not certain if anyone else had Steadman or not. We'll know that in a few days.

As an aside, all entries will be posted on or before January 10, 2000.

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