The O.B.E. Bulletins

Well it's like this, lots of you folks have said you love the bulletins the most. So we figured, why not preserve them for posterity? Here they are, special for you:

December 31, 2000

Former Senator and savings and loan scandal bad boy, Alan Cranston, has left the planet. Alan was a December 31, 2000 death making him the O.B.E. equivalent of Baby New Year. We're certain many of Cranston's friends are taking it kinda hard, especially Kato.

December 26, 2000

Two-time Oscar winner actor Jason Robards died at the age of 78. With a stage, film, and TV career spanning more than 50 years passed away after fighting a long battle with cancer.

Robards received the Navy Cross (the second highest decoration in the U.S. Navy) for his service in World War II.

Fittingly, Robard's was last seen as the dying father of a character played by Tom Cruise in the 1999 film "Magnolia." He won his first Academy Award as best supporting actor in the 1976 Watergate drama "All the President's Men." He won a second best supporting actor Oscar for his role as Dashiell Hammett in the film "Julia."

Robards was also well known for his memorable interpretations of Eugene O'Neill characters in such plays as "The Iceman Cometh" and "Long Day's Journey Into Night."

Robards received the Navy Cross (the second highest decoration in the U.S. Navy) for his service in World War II.

One of the Guys at the O.B.E. had the distinct pleasure of seeing the 1985 revival of "The Iceman Cometh" starring Robards, and attended a small dinner with him afterwards. In fact, Robards spit a bit of food on him and the good manners to totally ignore it - dick...

In 1978 Jason starred in a TV movie called "A Christmas to Remember." In 2000, he made his last holiday appearance. Well folks... the Iceman Goeth... buh bye...

December 26, 2000

We seemed to have missed this one on December 10, 2000 but it appears the Bishop of Rockville Center, New York, James McHugh croaked. Yup, he was no major celeb but his passing hit the AP as he was outspoken on several topics and he was on someone's list. So, the rules being the rules... He is now Bishop James McPU.

December 23, 2000

A sad day indeed folks... first Victor Borge now Billy Barty. Mr. Barty, the 3' 10" giant of this business we call 'show' died Saturday of heart failure. He was 76.

With a career that spanned over 60 years, Billy appeared in his first Hollywood feature at the age of three and continued to work in the industry until his death. His body of work included, Radio, Broadway, Feature Films and Television. Some of his characters included the wizard in the movie ''Willow'' (1988), a German spy in ''Under the Rainbow'' (1981), a stalker in ''Foul Play'' (1978), and an agent in ''Day of the Locust'' (1975).

In 1957, Barty founded Little People of America, an advocacy group for others with dwarfism. He also began a non-profit foundation that bears his name to help improve the quality of life for little people, the term he said he preferred.

We at the OBE would rather remember him for what we knew him best; of course that being the role of Hugo on the Kroft Supershow 'Dr. Shrinker'... at least the whole 16 episodes it lasted.

On his foundation's Web site, Barty says: ''The name of my condition is Cartilage Hair Syndrome Hypoplasia, but you can just call me Billy.'' We at the OBE will just call him dead.

December 23, 2000

It seems that our old (91 to be exact) pal Victor Borge has died. You may recall that Victor used to play classical music in odd and often comical ways. In addition, he did that schtick with the punctuation marks on Sesame Street. Here's a quote about Victor from CNN..."Borge performed 100 or more nights a year, sometimes as pianist and sometimes as conductor, usually as a clown but sometimes in dead earnest." Now we understand the dead part, but who the hell is Earnest?

December 23, 2000


Former NYC mayor John Lindsay croaked. Mr. Lindsay was a two term Mayor of NYC in the 60's and 70's. John's campaign slogan was "He's fresh, and everyone else is tired." We're guessing he ain't so fresh anymore.


Patriarch of the gospel group The Staple Singers, Pop Staples has been removed.


Guitarist for the pop band 10,000 Maniacs died of liver failure. The band has filed papers to officially change its name to 9,999 Maniacs.

December 21, 2000

Mr. Hearst was the son of a newspaper magnate and the father of the kidnapped broad. In reality, he's famous because of his dad and his daughter. Granted, he was stinking rich. The last estimate of his worth was 1.8 billion. That's billion, with a "B". Now he's dead, with a "D".

December 7, 2000

Mr. Klemperer put in amazing performances on both stage and screen. Werner also performed narration with almost every major symphony orchestra in the US. Furthermore, Werner performed in several Operas. All these things reflect that Mr. Klemperer was a brilliant and accomplished actor. Too bad the only thing we'll all remember for is…..HOGAN! HOGAN!!!!!!!

November 10, 2000

Author, L. Sprague de Camp, has died. Mr. de Camp was well known in the science fiction and fantasy community for his ground breaking works. In addition, he penned the famous "Conan the Barbarian." From "Conan the Barbarian" to L. Sprague the nonagenarian.

November 5, 2000

Former Louisiana Governor and a fella who penned over 400 songs and recorded over 50 albums, Jimmie Davis, has died. Among the numbers Davis wrote and performed were "You are my Sunshine" and "It Makes No Difference Now." In fact, it really doesn't make a difference now.

October 31, 2000

It is with sadness and our condolences to his family that we report the death of David G. As some of you may recall, David took both first and second place in the 1999 O.B.E.

We were informed about two weeks ago that David was diagnosed with brain cancer earlier this year. He had been going through a painful (for both he and his family) battle with the cancer. We just found out that he lost that battle earlier this week.

David played in a bunch of pools and is known in the "Dead Pool Community," if there is such a thing, as a master of the game. He had a knack for winning these things and really enjoyed playing them. By all accounts, he was a hell of a nice guy too.

No witty remarks. No smart ass wise cracks. Just our sincere thoughts to David's family.

October 31, 2000

Comedian and former "Tonight Show" host Steve Allen is caput. In recent years Mr. Allen often spoke out against dirty or off-color comedy, often called "working blue." Funny thing is, that's the only way Steve's gonna be working from now on.

October 19, 2000

Singer and actress, Julie London has kicked the bucket. London had a bunch of billboard hits in the 1950's and appeared in a good many films. In addition, she was married to Jack Webb of "Dragnet" fame and was a regular on the 1970's TV series Emergency.

We see London, we see France... Actually, we don't see London anymore.

October 18, 2000

Gwen Verdon, a broadway staple from the 1950's through the 1970's has taken her last curtain call. Gwen's credits include "Damn Yankees," "Sweet Charity," "Redhead," "Chicago," and "New Girl in Town." Uh, new girl in ground is more like it.

October 17, 2000

Granted, Governor of Missouri isn't quite a celebrity but.... Mr. Carnahan went down in a plane piloted by his son, Roger. Interestingly, Mel, who is running for the U.S. Senate, will remain on the ballot going once again to prove, politics is truly a strange profession.

October 7, 2000

Regarding Richard Farnsworth...Don't know if you folks ever saw "The Straight Story," but this fella was swell. There was a certain shot.......unfortunately, it went right through Richard's head. What a downer.

September 28, 2000

Seems our old pal Pierre Trudeau has kick the Canadian bucket. You may recall that Pierre was Prime Minister up in Canada a few years back. The thing we can't seem to get outta our heads though is that he dated Barbara Streisand. Maybe he died of embarassment.

September 28, 2000

Star of "Soap" and "Empty Nest," Richard Mulligan has died of cancer. Mulligan played the quirky dad of Billy Crystal's character on "Soap" and played Dr. Harry Weston on "Empty Nest." Richard latest work was in the made for TV picture "Dog's Best Friend." We've got a snesking suspicion that Richard is about to become worm's best friend too.

September 23, 2000

Journalist Carl Rowan has died. Rowan's work as a natioanlly syndicated journalist and author has spanned several decades. In addition to his journalistic accomplishments, Carl created Project Excellence, an organization designed to help and encourage black youth to finish school and go on to college.

What we'll miss most about this guy is his work on that Laugh-In show.

September 15, 2000

Emmy award winner Beah Richard is a goner just days after getting the Emmy for her guest appearance on "The Practice." The old gal was so sick at the time, the Emmy was delivered to her at her home. Some of her other works include "Guess Who's Coming to Dinner," "Drugstore Cowboy," "The Great White Hope," and "Hurry Sundown." Hey Beah, sundown's here.

August 25, 2000

Seems your pals at the O.B.E. missed one. Kevin M. has Carl Barks on his list. Carl was a Disney animator who is credited with creating the Donald Duck we know and love. According to the AP Carl is no longer drawing. In fact, Carl is no longer breathing.

Thanks to Kevin M. for helping us out!!!

August 12, 2000

Actress Loretta Young is dead. Loretta appeared in tons of films most notably one called "The Farmer's Daughter." Did ya ever here the one about the farmer's daughter? She's dead.

August 6, 2000

Here's one for you. Actor Sir Alec Guinness has died. We could go on at length about the depth and breadth of a career like Guinnesses but why bother when all you really want us to say is something like Obi-Gone Kenobi.

August 4, 2000

Horse racing legend Fred Hooper is dead. Mr. Hooper was the winner of the 1945 Kentucky Derby and went on the become an influential breeder and a well known figure in horse racing.

Fred appeared on a coupla player's lists which, of course, makes him post worthy to the O.B.E. Both Big Bird and Oscar the Grouch were quoted as "being very sad to hear of Mr. Hooper's second demise."

July 28, 2000

Who? Yeah, that's what we said too. But one of the Death Watchers had Gordie Solie, wrestling anouncer on their lists. His obit hit the AP. A rule is a rule. He counts! So, Gordie Solong.

July 17, 2000

Chief Bernie Whitebear, an advocate for Indian rights, has died. Is Chief Whitebear really a celebrity? Probably not! But, Ron H. had him on his list and the Chief's obituary is in the AP and those are the rules.

Take it from us, Whitebear can't jump.

July 1, 2000

Actor Walter Matthau has died. Matthau Had a swell movie career with hits like The Bad News Bears, Kotch, The Fortune Cookie, and The Odd Couple (with Jack Lemmon). The only thing odd about that couple now is that one of 'em ain't breathing.

June 19, 2000

Actress Nancy Marchand has died. Nancy recently gained renewed recognition for her role as Livia Soprano in the HBO serioes "The Sopranos." We don't wanna spoil next season for any of you, but we're pretty certaina Livia's gonna croak.

June 16, 2000

Jim Hurd, former Planar Systems CEO died of leukemia on June 14, 2000. Planar is the company that came up with the flat-panel electroluminescent display. Ya know, those cool flat screens. Uh, laptops folks. Mike R. had Jim on his list rocketing Mike R. into a strong lead.

Oh, almost forgot......First the flat screen, then the flat line.

June 10, 2000

Hafez Assad is dead. Looks like the leader of Syria had some uh, syriaous health problems. If you're wondering what that does to the standings.....well, you'll have to check it out.

June 4, 2000

Yeah, we know there is no such thing as a celebrity hockey player, but one of the Death Watch players had him on their lists.

Maurice "the Rocket" Richard played hockey. He won a bunch of Stanley cups. And, after all that, it wasn't until 78 years of age that he needed a good icing.

June 1, 2000

We saw that this fella croaked but missed that one of our players, Bill B., had him. So, we neglected to do an obit and bulletin as he really wasn't all that famous. Anyway....

Bob Casey, former Gov. of Pennsylvania is now simply former.

June 1, 2000

Latin Jazz great Tito Puente closed the show on early on June 1, 2000. Puente broke onto the scene in the 1950's and went on to define Latin Jazz for the next 50 years.

Tito, finito!

May 26, 2000

We've been away on business and have been a bit remiss in our duties. In our absence the following occured:

Sir John Gielgud just didn't feel good. Barbara Cartland was departin'. and Jean-Piere Rampel: Gone, we fear, as well.

May 8, 2000

Businessman, author, producer, actor, and son of Douglas Fairbanks, Douglas Fairbanks Jr. is dead. Douglas tried his hand in many things and was sucessful in most of them. Douglas' film career was a bit sluggish with the silents but picked up when he began appearing in the talkies. His first big success in film was in "Little Ceaser".......

Funeral, Funeral

May 3, 2000

Well, seems the Archbishop of New York has became, shall we say, the Ex-bishop of New York. Although a cardinal, we're told he more resembles a blue bird right about now.

April 26, 2000

Famed Broadway producer, David Merrick, has exited stage left. Merrick produced many of the greats including ''Oliver!,'' ''Carnival,'' ''Fanny,'' ''Look Back in Anger,'' ''Becket,'' ''Irma La Douce,'' ''Play It Again, Sam,'' ''A Taste of Honey,'' ''Stop the World -- I Want to Get Off,'' ''Cactus Flower,'' and ''Hello Dolly.''......Well, goodbye David.

April 16, 2000

Sadly, author and illustrator Edward Gorey has died. Gorey is known for his morbidly funny illustrations and writings. We really liked this guy.

You might know Ed's work from the PBS show "Mystery." He drew the introduction to the show. He also wrote funny little rhymes about death and he illustrated them too!

G is for Gorey who'll never come back. H is for Ed's heart which suffered attack.

April 11, 2000

Larry Linville, the actor known for his portrayal Maj. Frank Burns on the television show "M*A*S*H," died 4/10 of complications from pneumonia. Linville suffered from cancer, had a lung removed, and was generally picked on by B.J. and Hawkeye.

April 9, 2000

Claire Trevor, who won an Oscar for her performance in "Key Largo," has thrown her hat in the ring for "Best Actress no Longer to be Breathing"

In "Key Largo" Claire played the drunk, washed up singer Gaye Dawn. In one scene she sings "Moanin' Low" to get E.G. Robinson to give her a drink she craves. More recently she was heard once againing moanin' low but it stopped rather abruptly.

April 8, 2000

Sylvan Rodriguez got on the air in January of 1999 and told his Texas audience that he had cancer. Then, each night on the news (he was a news anchor ya know) he'd update his viewers on his progess. Well, we've got an update, he's dead.

Two folks had poor 'ol Sylvan on their lists. As The Guys are on a bit of a holiday, the page won't be updated until tomorrow. Don't fret kids, it ain't like Sylvan's gonna come back or anything.

April 5, 2000

Author and a fella who really dug eating "magic" mushrooms, Terence McKenna, died of a brain tumor on April 3, 2000. McKenna is best known for his book "The Invisible Landscape: Mind, Hallucinogens, and the I Ching" but he also wrote "Food of the Gods." Guess what that was about. Can't wait to read his next one, "Food for the Worms."

March 28, 2000

Author Alex Comfort died on Sunday. Mr. Comfort is best known for authoring "The Joy of Sex," "More Joy of Sex," and "The New Joy of Sex." Alex had suffered a series of strokes in the past nine years and, based on his works, had experienced numerous strokes prior to that. Think about it.

March 27, 2000

Well, the talk of the morning isn't how much like Medusa Annette Benning looked last night (at the Oscars) but that British Rock-n-Roller, Ian Dury, kicked the bucket. Dury, along with The Blockheads, cut some pretty popular stuff in the late seventies and early eighties. Dury's first big break was supplied thanks to Stiff Records. Although Dury later left Stiff for Polydor, at heart, he remains a Stiff guy (ewww, we said remains).

March 16, 2000

Yup, your pal and ours Bobb McKittrick has died. Who the hell was he? Who the hell knows! But, he was on four lists in this years O.B.E. Seems McKittrick was the line coach for the San Francisco 49ers. And, unlike Tony Bennet, Bobb left not only his heart in San Francisco, but a few tumorous bile ducts as well.

March 13, 2000

Seems the Jackie's brother, Mack, has died. Mack was a pretty swell athlete in his own right, winning a silver medal in track in the 1936 Olympics Games. Mack did this 11 years before Jackie broke the race barrier in baseball. First Mack, then Jackie. First Jackie, now Mack.

David G. picked good 'ol Mack to hit the eternal sack and hit he did. New stats, obits, etc.. should be posted in about a day.

March 11, 2000

John Colicos, who will be best remembered as the villain Count Baltar in the TV science fiction series "Battlestar Galactica," has died at the age of 71 after a series of heart attacks.

For you real theatre-folks here are some other tid-bits: at age 22, John became the youngest actor to play King Lear at London's Old Vic. He also portrayed Winston Churchill in the London and New York productions of the play "The Soldiers." His first screen success was in the role of Cromwell in the 1970 film "Anne of a Thousand Days."

To tweek one of John's lines from the end of an early Galactica, "They have NOW heard the last of Baltar." And to think this guy used to pal around with Lorne Greene - wow - what a life.

March 9, 2000

We weren't gonna post this one but so many of you have made a stink about the guy (not to mention the stink we're betting the man himself will be making shortly) that we said "what the heck." Here goes:

Charles Gray, best known as the narrator in that silly cult picture "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" is dead. Gray also played Blofeld in the James Bond movie "Diamonds are Forever." Diamonds yes, actors no. Dig?

February 13, 2000

Man, ya go away for a day or two and everybody up and dies. Ain't that always the way.

Screamin' Jay Hawkins, the American blues singer and pianist is no longer screaming. Dig?

February 13, 2000

Sorry for the delay in these reports but the Guys are on a little holiday. Anyway, here's the poop.

Former Dallas Cowboy's coach Tom Landry is dead. Landry is known for leading Dallas to 5 Superbowls. Tom always wore a dark business suit and felt hat. He paced back and forth as the games unfolded. Tom always had a cold, emotionless face on those sidelines. Dark suit, emotionless face, seems Tom was ready for this moment for years.

Cartoonist Charles Schulz has died. Schulz, of course, created the best known comic strip in the world, "Peanuts". This little strip spawned TV specials, movies, advertising campaigns, ice shows, plays and tons of merchandising. But kids, it wasn't always easy for Charles. His first three strips, Cashews, Almonds, and Macadamias never really took off.

These two deaths have resulted in a ton of score changes in the Death Watch. You'll all have to check in later today as we are sending this message out from a secret remote location and will be unable to update the page until later tonight. Remember, lose lips sink ships and tumors ain't too good for football coaches or cartoonists.

February 10, 2000

Yup, seems Jim Varney has died. Varney was well known for his voice-over work but is best known as that dumbass, baseball cap wearing Ernest in all those stupid "Ernest Goes..." movies. Well this time Ernest friggin' went and he won't be back.

February 8, 2000

Rapper Big Pun (short for Big Punisher) died yesterday. Now get this, Big Pun was in fact big. Hell no, the guy was HUGE! Pun, real name Chris Rios weighed almost 700 pounds! According to the AP report "his fans and loved ones were crushed." How could anyone close to the guy not feel crushed, ya know?

February 8, 2000

Magician Doug Henning, the long-haired fella who brought magic back to the limelight in the 70's has died from liver cancer at the age of 52.

Henning is survived by his wife, Debbie, and his overbite, Karl.

February 8, 2000

NFL star Derrick Thomas died today in a hospital where he was being treated for injuries from a car crash that paralyzed him from the chest down. The Chiefs announced that Thomas had a heart attack and efforts to resuscitate him failed.

Thomas was a nine-time Pro Bowl player and one of the game's best pass rushers. Thomas holds the NFL one-game record of seven sacks and ranks ninth on the career list.

What a waste of an education, eh?

February 5, 2000

Carl Albert, former congressman from Oklahoma has died. Albert twice stood next in succession for the presidency, once when Spiro Agnew resigned and once when Nixon resigned (Uh, that made him Speaker of the House kids). Albert retired in 1976. They used to call Carl "The Little Giant from Little Dixie," now they just call him "The Dead Guy from Oklahoma."

Doris Kenner-Jackson, one of the Shirelles, has died at the age of 58. "Who?", you say. Come on man! "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow," "Soldier Boy," "Baby It's You," "Dedicated to the One I Love," and "Tonight's The Night." are classics. By the way, tonight is not the night. Friday night was the night and breast cancer was the cause.

January 27, 2000

Tennis great Don Budge is dead. Yup, Don Budge. Hey, Don Budge. Don Budge. The damn guy just won't budge.

January 19, 2000

Bettino Craxi, the Socialist premier of Italy from 1983 and 1987 has died. You may remember when Bettino refused to cough up the bastards responsible for the Achille Lauro hijacking and the death of wheel chair bound Leon Klinghoffer.

Craxi was born in Milan, the son of a Sicilian lawyer. Craxi dropped out of the University of Milan for the world of politics. Craxi dropped out of the world of politics into the world of exile (for corruption). Finally, Craxi just plain friggn' dropped out!

Better check the page kids. The deaths of Lamarr and Craxi really have started this game rolling.

January 19, 2000

Actress Hedy Lamarr, known for her exotic pale skin, dark hair, and almond eyes has died. Note however, her skin remains pale and is also kinda cold now.

January 12, 2000

It appears that hall of fame pitcher Bob Lemon will not be at old timers day this year. The seven-time 20-game winner and former manager has dropped. Yup, Lemon dropped.

January 7, 2000

Cartoonist Don Martin of MAD Magazine fame has died of cancer at the age of 68. We can't speak for you folks, but the Guys at the O.B.E. fondly remember laughing their asses off at some of this fella's work. Don was the guy who loved to draw wild looking characters getting maimed, crushed, and otherwise destroyed in a variety of wacky cartoon fashions. The cartoons were usually accentuated with onomatopoeia such as SPLOP, PLOIT, etc. So in Don's honor we give you his parting perceptions....


January 6, 2000

NFL Hall of Famer, Tom Fears, whose record of 18 catches in a game still stands, died January 4, 2000. Not only could Tom catch a football, but apparently he caught a pretty nasty cold too.

January 2, 2000

We've already had our first celebrity check out. Retired Admiral Elmo Zumwalt Jr. pushed out to the enternal sea earlier today. Elmo is known for reforming the Navy while Admiral in the 1970's, playing a major role in the Vietnam conflict, and shaking when you tickled his tummy.

Mike R. had Elmo Zumwalt on his list making him the first player to hit in the 2000 O.B.E.

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